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Barbie

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
2,681
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
01/2007
Country
US
State
FL
City
orlando
:mad:Wednesday morning my CNA started the day with the announcement that she is quitting and going back to school! I am worried sick as well as so sad to be losing her. She is a wonderful and caring individual who has been with my husband almost 2 years--she is our first and only outside caregiver we ever hired and we are a bit spoiled getting someone so great on the first try. every time she has had a day off we have gotten a replacement from the agency and they have been awful in comparison.

I am making an account on care dot com as I heard that is a good way to find people also. I just don't need the extra stress of training and then re hiring if the next one doesn't work out. number one, I work full time and have to as I run our family business, and two, I really think if I was the only caregiver at this point I would slit my throat and kill him--I don't have the patience to stay home with him and care for him all day every day! With the last of my kids moved out--I am all alone with him f rom the minute I get home from work until the next work day and already have little chance to go any where. I sound like a selfish *****, but I am tired of being a caregiver and don't want to do this alone!
 
Barbie I am so sorry. We went through this a few times with my parents (9 years between them of cnas)
It fortunately turned out ok. Each one was different with different strengths but everyone adjusted. You probably already have this? a folder with detailed routines for the entire day. We even took pictures of each meal so they could see portions. Have the cna review it too. Ours included incredible detail about transfers etc. Any chance the new cha can work a couple of days with the old one?
Good luck. Sorry you are dealing with this!
 
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Thanks Nikki--no we do not have a folder with routines...that would be a good project for the lady that is leaving to do over the next 2 weeks. I hope I can find someone before she leaves and have her train them for a couple of days. I just hate interviewing and hiring and working out all the kinks. very spoiled now--our CNA is like a family member!
 
I understand your panic very well Barbie. Yes, a folder with all the details will greatly help. How about a few videos? We have gone through a few and as my husband got worse it made it harder and harder to train the new one. We had the toughest time about an year ago when we got the current one because my hubby's speech had become rather unintelligible by then, so it was very difficult for him to communicate his wishes.
Good luck with your search for a new CNA.
 
Oh hell Barbie, that sucks.

You are not selfish, you have been doing this for years, have raised your kids, and learned to run the business. No one person can be everything, I sure learned that only months into the full on caring side of things!

I hope the care site you use will work well and maybe you can get a couple of CNA to job share or something so you aren't so dependent on one person. 1 person is great in some ways, but now it's a real bummer.

Do get her to make the folders, she will know she was valued as she does them!

Pictures and video are great. I had a folder, plastic sleeves so it was easy to replace pages as things changed with Chris. I also used video to show things when I could get someone to hold the camera for me.

Deep breath, there are good ones out there.

Our favourite lady dropped in today unexpectedly with her hubby on the way home from town with a lovely bunch of flowers for me and a hug. They do become like family when you have a good one.

Is there any chance your current CNA can still do any part time stuff?

Hope you sort this quickly, I would feel sick too
 
>I am all alone with him f rom the minute I get home from work until the next work day and already have little chance to go any where. I sound like a selfish *****, but I am tired of being a caregiver and don't want to do this alone!

Barbie, have you got someone you can 'talk' to (not 'type to')? being a CALS is impossible. Period. You have to find time away. I cannot let this happen to Sandy ...
 
Sweet Barbie, I admire your honesty. You have faced ALS for so long you must be weary. Being a CALS is the hardest thing I've ever done. Overwhelmed, exhausted, stressed and angry are a few words that describe what you are going through. Been there. Now you're faced with finding a new CNA - it doesn't seem fair.

Finding a good CNA that is a good fit is no easy task. I remember when our first CNA left us to go back to school, I cried. I had gotten very close the her. She was like family. Went thru a couple before I found the right fit. Stay strong and I hope you will find someone soon. You don't need anymore stress in your life.

Love ya girl!
Debbie
 
I truly am sorry we PALS are such a burden to you CALS. I already feel guilty for the burdens I am placing on my wife. Hope you can get another good caregiver soon!
 
Neil, please don't ever think you are a burden. I never thought that taking care of Joe. I took care of him out of love and I'm sure the rest of the CALS would say the same. It is a hard job and watching ALS progress and not being able to do anything is overwhelming. Exhaustion came with sleep deprivation and anger came from seeing a wonderful man become a prisoner in his own body. Heartbreaking!

Debbie
 
I hate when my dad talks about being a burden. He isn't and never will be a burden. It is this damn disease that is the burden. Please PALS don't think of yourselfs that way. You didn't ask to have this disease. We are doing our best to love you through it. None of us need the guilt but we do need each other. Both PALS/CALS and any one else involved need to vent once in awhile. This disease takes a toll on everyone. Remember, we are complaining about the disease and never about loving you. Everybody got that now?
 
I hate to hear that, you definitely get attached when you get a good one. The CNA that first started coming to handle dads bath and such was amazing and we haven't had a very good one since. We must have made an impression on the first one we had as she still comes and visits and helps time to time as she can. I wish you luck in finding a good one quickly. I too thought about care.com as we are fixing to look for a helper at the house now that the VA has come through with such a good benefit to help pay for it.
I told mom my only request was to find one that will come whatever days she wants but would also come on Saturdays because every weekday is full from 8:00 am-10:30 pm between helping dad and working a full time job. That way I could atleast have one day a weekend free to go do whatever I want to do. Good Luck! P.S. I don't think you sound selfish but instead like someone that has held strong for too long and needs a break from this horrible disease. Any time I get a break now I just want to go find a dark quiet spot and sleep.
 
Barbie, I am so sorry that you have to start your search over. I am worried that when the time comes I won't be able to find the right person.
I don't think you sound selfish, I think you sound human. I know how I feel a few months into this and to me you are amazing!
Kaye
 
how is it going Barbie?
 
Don't forget to post your listing at/with local colleges, CNA schools, free newspaper portals, Craigslist, neighborhood stores/papers, etc. Many of these also have work wanted sections for you to browse. Cast a wide net if you want your pick of fish. Also ask your current CNA to mine her contacts and their contacts as well.
 
NEIL, PALS are not burdens in any way. You're our reason for existing and give a CALS life meaning. You're the one carrying the burden. We love you, man.
 
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