Jo123
New member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2014
- Messages
- 5
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 10/2011
- Country
- US
- State
- wi
- City
- milwaukee
Hi all,
Tonight was rough, although coming on here and seeing everyone with the same micromanaging issues did make me feel better. Sometimes I feel robbed of my life or a "normal" life. I'm 30 years old and a caregiver when i'm not working full time in a demanding career. Being a CAL is always on my mind which leads me to neglect other areas of my life. At work I think about him at home ( he is 32) and then rush home after work to make sure I can get her to assist him with dinner and bathroom. I don't go anywhere on the weekend as I don't want to leave him--thus leaving few friends that want to just come over and sit. He cannot walk and we are still waiting on his "fancy" wheelchair to arrive. We get visitors once and awhile but not nearly enough. I don't feel like anyone my age can relate to what I am going through and I often find myself angry and mad at people with"normal" lives. I can't fully commit to my career as I often have to rush home or check up. I just keep thinking how is this happening to me? Then I start feeling stupid for feeling this way when my PAL is going through so much more.
Sometimes I just lose my mind, tonight I made him a snack as requested but of course made it wrong. --no surprise there. Every other minute I'm doing something wrong. Somedays I just can't take it! Tonight was one of those nights, crying and thinking about what a normal life I wish we had. And thinking about all the times we had before his personality changed. I had never seen my pal get angry before and we have been together nearly 8 years…Its so hard to watch the one you love slip away, tears my heart out.
Thanks for listening. Any advice is helpful.
Tonight was rough, although coming on here and seeing everyone with the same micromanaging issues did make me feel better. Sometimes I feel robbed of my life or a "normal" life. I'm 30 years old and a caregiver when i'm not working full time in a demanding career. Being a CAL is always on my mind which leads me to neglect other areas of my life. At work I think about him at home ( he is 32) and then rush home after work to make sure I can get her to assist him with dinner and bathroom. I don't go anywhere on the weekend as I don't want to leave him--thus leaving few friends that want to just come over and sit. He cannot walk and we are still waiting on his "fancy" wheelchair to arrive. We get visitors once and awhile but not nearly enough. I don't feel like anyone my age can relate to what I am going through and I often find myself angry and mad at people with"normal" lives. I can't fully commit to my career as I often have to rush home or check up. I just keep thinking how is this happening to me? Then I start feeling stupid for feeling this way when my PAL is going through so much more.
Sometimes I just lose my mind, tonight I made him a snack as requested but of course made it wrong. --no surprise there. Every other minute I'm doing something wrong. Somedays I just can't take it! Tonight was one of those nights, crying and thinking about what a normal life I wish we had. And thinking about all the times we had before his personality changed. I had never seen my pal get angry before and we have been together nearly 8 years…Its so hard to watch the one you love slip away, tears my heart out.
Thanks for listening. Any advice is helpful.