I am so tired of this

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TGB1

Distinguished member
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
Messages
197
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
12/2012
Country
US
State
PA
City
Pittsburgh
I just had to slap my mom on the back as she was once again choking on her thik-it water. How I hate this disease and what it has done to her. After dealing with this every day I feel like it has changed me. I don't think I will ever be the way I used to be - before I had to deal with this horror everyday. Sorry I just had to get this out.
 
I so feel for you. I think the choking bit is so hard to watch and deal with.

None of us will be the same afterwards, I try to focus on believing that I will be a more compassionate and stronger person. Some days it doesn't feel that way!

Don't feel bad though, you are doing everything you can and we somehow muddle through together *hugs*
 
I remember thinking when my mother died (FTD/ALS) that I was irretrievably broken. Then my sister was diagnosed and I found out I am preFALS. I don't feel broken anymore but maybe that is because we are in crisis mode again.

The choking was the worst of all. Feeding/hydrating her was so horrible for both of us. I am so very sorry you are facing this.
You are in my prayers
Nikki
 
I don't think that anyone who has been touched by this disease can ever be the same. You are not alone.
 
You are not alone in how you feel. it is so exhausting to watch someone you love decline and there is just not much you can do except to stand as a witness to their struggles and help them in anyway you can. ALS has changed you, yes. I have changed too, but I am stronger, tougher and I think a better person in so many ways.

I have less compassion for silly whiners, more admiration for the disabled, and I know that I can handle what ever life throws at me--

you will never be the same, but I think you will be better. It may just take some time to see it.
 
I don't think that anyone who has been touched by this disease can ever be the same. You are not alone.

I agree.

However, I am going to try my hardest after my wife passes to not " turn weird"

My wife's brother took care of his wife who had MS for many years. He had a daughter nearby he saw once a week but otherwise associated with no one.

His wife died this spring and he went back to visit his siblings.
He is a bitter man with a chip on his shoulder that no one wants to have around.

I keep him in my prayers and also in my thoughts as an example of what I don't want to become as a result of the isolation of caring for a spouse.
 
I so get the "over it" feeling! I was thinking about you last night... one quick suggestion: if your mom is still choking on her water, trying adjusting how much thickit you're using. Glen would "drink" his waster and beer (yup. beer) at almost a pudding consistency towards the end. He said everything still tasted fine.
 
Bitterness eats away the love in your heart. I agree with you.
 
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