So tired....

[cricket-Utah]

My husband was diagnoised with ALS last November and is declining fast. I'm having a hard time with the caregiving. This was a diease that I always thought someone else would get....not my family. It was such a shock that it took quite some time to wrap my mind around it.

I just don't know how to keep everyone happy......:sad:

 

[hopingforthebest]

Dear Cricket

Oh how I know what you are going through. Some days you just feel so tired and just need some rest.

I pray tonight, right now, that you have someone reach out to help you. I lost my husband 6 months ago and still wake up every morning same time, 5:30 without an alarm clock. Everyday I miss him. My faith sustains me but the missing is so difficult.

This forum was so very helpful to me and as you see, I still log in and read the posts. Sometimes I cry and always hope for the best for all that live with this horrible disease.

God bless you and give you His strength,

Patty

 

[psiep]

cricket-ut, for what its worth, please hang in there. you don't need to keep everyone happy, that is not your job. you need to keep you happy and your PALS safe. you and your family are allowed to be sad and to grieve. happiness will come to each of you in surprising moments.

Patsy

 

[brooksea]

It took me a long time to realize that you don't have to placate everyone! I assume you are talking about adults, so you've got to be honest and forthright in letting them know you all's needs and forget about their's! My husband has had ALS for 3 years (or more) and I'm just now getting to the point that "Hey if you want to help - fine. If you want to jabber on about YOUR life and how difficult it is, leave me out!"

cricket - welcome to the forum. I hope you will find lots of support here.

 

[Katie C]

Just going to chime in and echo what CJ and Patsy said: it is NOT your job to keep everyone happy! It is your job to keep yourself as happy and healthy as possible so that you can help your husband remain as happy and healthy as possible. Period. Hang in there!

 

[DgtofTNfan]

Cricket,

I am so sorry your husband has ALS. The wonderful people on this forum are informative and supportive. Please let us know how we can support you. Take care of your self so that you can take care of him.
Dana

 

[K-Town]

Echoing as well....Everyone is going to deal with this differently. You cannot make others happy...not even your husband. I know. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself and your husband. Thats it. No One else. (unless you have young children) There is no way on earth that you will get through this if you add the stress of outsiders, and their issues. This is a great forum. Vent away. The thing is, we have all been there, or for those who haven't been there, will be. Posts like this help us come together and understand, that we are all going through similar issues. We are not alone. We may not know each other, but we do know the Brutality of this disease and what it does to the family. Stay strong. Chin up.

 

[wanda brittle]

I now how you feel. Feel so alone. Everything on your shoulders. But life goes on.

 

[indigosd]

Wrapping my arms around you!

 

[Twinsmom]

I just don't know how to keep everyone happy......:sad:[/QUOTE]



Another chime ringing here in Florida, reminding you to not take on everyone else's happiness. Just stay focused on you and your husband. Surround yourself with only those energies who can give you the love you need. Give yourself the room to just BE and not get sucked into everyone else's dramas.

Peace,
Melody

 

[pink]

I had to post. I know how it feels to have ALL the weight on your shoulders. God Bless.

 

[Katie C]

rereading my own advice. So... it is also not my responsibility to try to keep my nutso mother in law happy, right!? Sheesh.

 

[brooksea]

In-laws are OUT! At least down here. Never see um or hear from um, unless it's at their convenience. Don't count on me to ever, ever, ever update them again about their brother or son. They can call or come by if they want to know. I've set myself up for a fall I don't know how many times, thinking they would give a rats a$$ about him. He cares so much for them and with not being able to talk on the phone wants me to call them and check on THEM - on THEM for God's sake! He is a dear soul. Their hearts are made from stone and I hope one day they will know how much they have hurt him.

Sorry! Need the flying monkeys!

 

[heredownsouth]

So tired...I can't say that I'm so tired yet, but I can definitely identify with you on the shock factor. I work in healthcare, long term care at that, and it still didn't prepare me for watching my father battle with this diagnosis. My family's life has been turned upside down. We do consider ourselves so fortunate that we have escaped something dreaded like this for so many years. We have lead very happy lives up until now. My main prayer is that God has mercy on him and does not let him suffer with his declining health for a very long time.

 

[indigosd]

so little cricket, how are you? Welcome to the forum heredownsouth!