Young Care Giver

[JackieMurphy]

Hello
This is my first post to this forum. Our Palliative Care nurse suggest I give this a try. I am a 27 year old female who is the primary care giver for my mother in law who has ALS. I left my job in June and have been taking care of her everyday ever since.

My husband works days so he and I take care of her together at night and throughout the night.

Her husband works third shift. . He is home at 7am and goes to bed at 11am until 4 pm. He is then out the door by 430.

So it is mostly myself who does mostly all of the care giving.

At this point she is unable to speak, mobility is limited, most of her problems with ALS are in her neck and throat. She struggles with mucus all day long. She is constantly using a suction machine, constantly chocking, and stops breathing sometimes.

I am on here looking for someone around my age to talk to. I have wonderful friends and family do not get me wrong, however none of my friends know, thank goodness, what it is like to have to be a round the clock care giver, especially since we are young.

Just looking to see if there is anyone out there who is around my age who would like to swap emails and chat from time to time. It would be nice.

Thanks for reading

Jackie

 

[Barbie]

Hi Jackie,

We have quite a few people here who care for parents or in laws daily. I am sure they will respond to you. It is a very hard thing you are doing and it doesnt matter if you are 27 or 57, most outside friends do not understand even though them may try. You have come to the right place for support!

 

[ottawa girl]

God bless you Jackie-

You're an amazing young woman to take on the care of your MIL. I do hope you get some time off- otherwise you will burn out.

In addition to meeting a CAL your own age, you may also pick up some other ideas to help your MIL and to lessen your load.
There are many such threads - on a broad variety of subjects. If you need other information- just ask.

Best wishes to you- you're an angel.

 

[JackieMurphy]

Barbara

Thank you for your time and replying to my message. It means a lot to me.

Jackie

 

[JackieMurphy]

Elaine

Thank you for your reply to my message. I have been looking around here for some helpful tips as well.
Stay strong

Jackie

 

[JackieMurphy]

I know that at any age being a care giver is difficult for anyone to relate to. I am just more looking for someone my age because while none of my friends are care giver or understand the role of a care giver... but most couldn't even fathom loosing a parent at our age right now. I feel alone at my age going through this. I know I am not so that is why I turned here. So it is all of that rolled into one big emotional ball. I appreciate the support here though. A LOT!

 

[panguinjen]

Hi Jackie,
Welcome! I hope you find someone your age... I'm 57 and only one of my friends tries to understand what we go through. Take care of yourself.

Jen

 

[fairfiona]

I've gotten a lot of advice from everbody don't matter their age. My friend seen her friends drop by the wayside. I know you need to meet up with yur own age and I Hope you do. You are more than a good DIL.

 

[JackieMurphy]

I appreciate everyone's advice. I suppose it doesn't matter what age like you are all saying. I am just trying to find other caregivers to chat with throughout the day. Some days are more stressful than others and some days are just so lonely due to my poor mother in law not being able to speak any longer. I do not mean to sound selfish if that is how it seems, but someone going through similar struggles would be nice to chat with here and there.
Thank you all for your kind words and advice. They are appreciated.

Jackie

 

[cukita99]

my son is 23 n he has been my caretaker for almost 7 yrs but he wont talk. he kee ps too himself

 

[laurel]

Jackie welcome. I agree you are a special person to take on the care of your mother-in-law. There are many wonderful people on this forum who will help you with any concerns that come up. Big hugs to you.

Laurel

 

[ccurths]

Welcome
I am a pals that can't talk or eat, now its moved into my arms/hands. You are an angel to take care of your mil.

 

[HelenL]

Hi Jackie, LizT is about your age, but she hasn't been on the forum much since her PALS passed away... you could try to leave a message for her.

Everyone is so different, so I don't think age really matters anyway. Good luck, not too many people would step up and help with their MIL, you're a special person.

 

[kaylseyum]

Hi Jackie, I am 25 and my future MIL ( i call her my MIL for convenience) just got diagnosed. I am a full time student and commuter, and, while she still lives with her husband, she may eventually live with us and stays with us often. My fiance works daily and because I am in the healthcare field I am involved most heavily with her healthcare. I feel exactly the same way you do. No one who hasn't experienced this disease truly understands how horrible it is. My MIL had bulbar onset, so her speech was the first to go so I can totally sympathize with you about how hard that is. We are currently working on trying to find at least a part-time caregiver as her husband is completely burnt out and neglecting some of her care and neither my fiance or I have to option of not working and she needs 24/7 care. Unable to get herself up or fix herself food. Please feel free to message me. I would love to chat.

 

[JenD1214]

Hey Jackie,
I am 30 years old and am a part-time caretaker of my mother who has ALS. I would love to talk sometime with you. You can email me if you want....

Jen