Why CALS stay after the death of their PALS

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cheerleader

Senior member
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
979
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
08/2012
Country
US
State
Midwest
City
Small town
Through my months on the forum, have always admired the input of people like Mike, Tillie, Debbie- and the others who have lost their loved ones. Thought they were extraordinary people to stay in touch and still " give". Still think they are extraordinary, but also realize some of it is there seems to be little choice! We lived ALS 24/7 for such a long time, it becomes part of your very being, like the air you breathe. Now that my Joe is gone, there is such a void, and the people here, their stories, sorrow, humor, courage help fill the void. They have become part of my life and feel like longtime friends in the sorrow we share. I do eventually want to leave here and put ALS in the past- but not sure it is possible. Just hope we see a cure in our lifetime so that others won't have to suffer as our PALS did, and as we, as CALS are still.
 
You are spot on...

I know that part of the reason I've stayed is kind of like I'm still not ready to let Chris go. This family were with me right through, even if some of the actual people here were not members at the time, it doesn't register that way with me. New people join the family, and if they want they can even read back and see that journey. Some do and they contact me with comments about those old threads.

I never sat and said 'why him, why us'. IIWII and that was that. It happens to all kinds of people everywhere, and we were one more lot.

BUT, I have some kind of need to make sense of it for myself. I see all these people here, my family, going through everything Chris and I went through. I can help, and believe me I feel nurtured just by what I did with Chris being able to help someone else. I needed to learn a lot and it was all for Chris at the time, but it seems like it would be so wasted if I could just drop it all in a bundle and be gone.

So I am changed, forever. I don't know how long I will be here posting, maybe I won't ever leave, maybe that time will just happen. But I can't just jump on that wheel and start racing around the rat race like I'm back and me and everything is the same.

It's a true comfort to me too when I see other former CALS participating, another thing that helps make me feel just a bit less alone ...
 
Thank you to all former CALS because all us newbies need you as we are learning to tread this path we don't want to be on.
Love Gem
 
cheerleader you about said it all. there a lot of love here super man ant even got the strength you all have. i can't tell how joe felt about it. but i know i need you all here and i think he did to. i read everything you all put out here for us and that is what helps in more ways then you would ever known. you all are more educated on this then anyone ales. you all are on the front line fighting this that means a lot
 
I refer to all of you as my "forum family". The strength, comfort, caring and most important - understanding was unbelievable. For that I am forever grateful. Being a CALS is part of me. Walking away would be understandable but I choose to stay. I'm a little different as Joe was on a vent. I can tell you what that was like for us and in a way, still contribute.

I still feel the need to listen and help out anyway possible. We are all on the same journey....loving our pals. We may walk on different paths but we all end the same, loosing our PALS.

Debbie
 
CHEERLEADER, I left the forum after my wife died. Was gone for at least a year or two. You can do that when you feel ready.

I eventually came back because I like to help people. I also contribute to other forums not related to ALS.

You did an amazing job as a CALS. I know you'll find closure within yourself and move on. There is definitely life after ALS, and it's a happy one.
 
Thank you Mike for giving me the gift of hope today. Hoping all of my CALS and myself will find happiness after ALS. Something to look forward to in this time of sadness.

Debbie
 
Thank you all for staying. Your Monday morning perspective is invaluable.
 
I too thank you for staying
 
I am so thankful to those that have stayed. The advice is invaluable but the most important part is feeling like someone understands, that you are not alone, someone who has been where you are and can relate.
Grief has no timeline and you may not want to stay here but as much as you were Joe's cheerleader, I kind of claimed you as my own too, just as I did with all the CALS who have given me such wonderful words of encouragement, support and kindness. You saved my sanity more than once!
~Kaye
 
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