I'm very sorry for the loss of your Dad. Grief is never easy. Yours is palpable. One must go through grief in order to come through it. I hope you focus on good memories and on the life lessons your Dad taught you. Antidepressants serve a purpose, ( they help me too!) but numbing the pain only delays the inevitable: facing up to it, feeling it and letting it go.
I'm happy that you found this place and that you want to help. Thank you for this. I absolutely mean no disrespect to you, but I sense from your initial post that you might do better engaging in and volunteering for some very fun and up beat ALS fundraising initiatives. Your grief is so raw... i fear you being here may cause you even more suffering. I trust that you take these comments in the spirit in which they are offered. You sound like a wonderful person and a great daughter. No doubt about it, ALS is horrible. Please don't allow it to ravage your life more than it already has done. You are our hope for the future - don't let ALS quash your dreams of a long happy, healthy life. Make peace with your grief and anger. This peace will serve you well and allow you to wholeheartedly step back into your life.