Other books that may help
:mrgreen: My children are all grown now, but I can remember having a similiar problem in the early '80's. My third child, Daniel, was only 3 when his grandfather died in 1982. He also experienced the death of my grandmother and a very close neighbor in January 1981.
Daniel had a congenital heart defect and had been through 2 heart surgeries. He almost did not make it to be a 3-year-old. But later that year his baby brother was born and he also almost died, too. A month later my father died and 8 months later my husband had to be hospitalied while we were on a family vacation. I did not realize how much a preschooler can comprehend until I asked Daniel if he wanted to see his father in the hospital. He replied "NO! Chldren go to the hospital and come home, big people go to the hospital and die." His father, Rowland, did come home.
I knew I had to find something to help Daniel understand. The two books which helped me deal with Daniel and my own feelings were: "When Bad Things Happen To Good People"; and "The Fall Of Freddy The Leaf".
I learned to answer truthfully any questions I could and to find the answers if I did not know.
I have been smacked in the face many times by reality, but I always took my children's thoughts to heart.
Daniel also saw his grandmother dying from a stroke. She was on her last day, but she was in a coma. She was having breathing difficulties. Daniel (age 12, 1991) wanted to see her. His words were, "She looks so peaceful and if this is what death is, I am not scared."
In March of 1993 Daniel died, but in those 14 years Daniel taught our family how to live and appreciate the moments we have together. Now that my husband has ALS, we focus on what he can do and find ways to celebrate each day we have together. Granted we have stumbled many times over the last year, but we find ways to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue our journey.
I have been told many times in many ways that the end product or destination is not the important part, it is the process or journey to get there that is the good part.
I hope that all the PALS and loved ones find the good in this new journey that has been given to you and that when the destination is reached, you can look back at the good memories.
Kathy