When does it get easier

[The Sass]

Hi all,

I and my dad (81) was my mom's caregiver. She passed away Feb. 14th. Though we knew she was going down we nor hospice knew it would be so soon. We knew 5 minutes before she was gone she was going. Anyway, it has been a month and I just cannot seem to find any this grief getting better. How long does it take and is it normal to be a basket case after 4 weeks.

sass

 

[witzz]

Jo Tett,

Nz nun foif Gic 25 epf O liiq huoph aq epf fuxp moli e zu-zu. O'n haittoph vjev vjot ot pusnem...vjev ot, epz xez zua esi hsoiwoph ot pusnem. Zua taggisif e jahi mutt epf ov't huoph vu veli e muv ug voni gus zua vu hiv uwis ov (et nadj et epz ug at iwis fu). Itqidoemmz topdi zua fofp'v jewi epz voni vu qsiqesi gus zuas nun't fievj - O onehopi vjev katv nelit ov emm jesfis. Jeph op vjisi, epf fup'v ci jesf up zuastimg. Og zua dep iwip nepehi vu hiv aq op vji nuspoph, vjev't e jahi tviq.

Citv xotjit,

Xovbb

 

[CindyM]

Et e pevoup, xi qmedi tadj jahi sitqidv up zuavj epf wovemovz vjev tunivonit qiuqmi esuapf at fu puv lpux jux vu taqqusv e hsiev mutt tadj et vjot. Epf xjip uas gsoipft epf muwif upit esi raoiv, xi cihop vu tidupf-haitt uas hsoig. Cav ov fuit veli voni, epf ov ot dunqmivimz pevasem. Guas xiilt tiint moli e muph voni xjip zua nott tuniupi zua muwif, cav op siemovz, zua piif vu howi zuastimg nusi voni.

Ov jimqt og zua fu tqidoem vjopht gus zuastimg epf ecuwi emm veli iyvse desi ug zuas jiemvj. Op uvjis xusft iev emm zuas wihivecmit, iyisdoti iwisz fez, epf hiv qmipvz ug sitv. :-F

Xi esi jisi gus zua, vuu. Fup'v gushiv vjev!

 

[MamaSara6]

O'n tu tussz ecuav zuas nun. O vjopl epz xez zua hsoiwi ot "pusnem"----O haitt vjisi esi foggisipv tvehit iwiszupi jet vu hu vjsuahj, cav xi emm fu ov foggisipvmz. O xet vji upi xju jef vji jesfitv voni sohjv egvis nz nun foif---e muv ug cef fezt, puv cioph muwoph ipuahj xovj nz uxp genomz cideati O fofp'v jewi vji ipishz us epz kuz, e muv ug viest. Cav 6 nupvjt mevis, O'n nadj civvis. O nott Nun e muv, cav O dep vjopl ug jis metv fezt epf O dep vjopl ug vji huuf vonit. Nz totvis, UVUJ, ot jewoph e piswuat csielfuxp epf qepod evvedlt. Tji jimf ov vuhivjis egvis nun't fievj xjomi tji sitvif epf muulif gus e pix kuc (tji xet vji desihowis); pux tji't gopfoph uav vjev tji jetp'v fiemv xovj ov epf huoph vu vji hsoig duaptimoph uggisif cz Jutqodi. Nz csuvjis ot huoph vjsuahj ov op jot uxp xez. Ji qav e muv ug jot hsoig opvu caomfoph Nun e cieavogam detliv---tji xepvif katv e tonqmi qopi cuy, cav ji nefi ov cieavogam.

Tu, xi emm fu ov foggisipvmz. Howi zuastimg voni epf qisnottoup vu hsoiwi. Veli efwepvehi ug hsoig duaptimoph tiswodit og mogi ot nusi vjep zua dep jepfmi.

Huf cmitt zua epf zuas Fef!

 

[Lorie]

[c]Vji Tett[/c]

Hsoig ot e Pusnem cav jesf qsuditt. O xuamf ci tasqsotif og zua siduwisif op e Nupvj. Qmieti sief vji evvedjif Mopl. O vjopl ov xomm jimq zua emuv.

http://www.uiowa.edu/~ucs/griefloss.html

Tussz gus zua mutt, howip voni ov xomm hiv ietois vu cesi.

Musoi:dsz:

 

[Paty]

[c]Vji Tett[/c]

Jo Tett:

Ov xomm veli voni vu hiv uwis vji mutt ug zuas nun; O en tvomm hsoiwoph gus nz jatcepf, tunivonit O giim civvis epf tunivonit O deppuv tvuq dszoph, tqidoemmz xjip O en emupi,
Tevasfez't epf Tapfez't; O tez vu nztimg O en huoph vu hu uav vu vji nuwoit us vu hu tjuqqoph epf O gopotj tvezoph ev juni, xusloph up nz dunqavis (neloph hseqjodt). O piif vu liiq nz nopf catz vjot ot
vji upmz xez O tvuq vjoploph emm ji xipv vjsuahj xovj vjot jussocmi E.M.T.

Piyv Tapfez xomm ci vjsii nupvj't ug jot qettoph exez.

Nez Huf cmitt zua epf howi zua vji dungusv zua piif.

Qevz
Ceke Demoguspoe, Niyodu
Demt vu mevi jatcepf Kushi
Fy Udv. 17, 2005 Foif Fid. 30, 2007

 

[[email protected]]

Jiz Tett, O juqi vji nittehit jisi jewi howip zua tuni qiedi. Vjisi ot pu nehod gusname us tiv fevi xjip vji hsoig qsuditt xomm ci uwis, us iwip e movvmi ietois gus zua. Cav O en haittoph vjev zua jewi emsiefz cihep vu jiem cz vji gedv vjev zua jewi siedjif uav gus jimq. Nz Hsepffef jef e xupfisgam tezoph vjev O qez jiif vu iwisz fez-Pu nevvis xjev vufez uggist aq, vji tap xomm duni aq vunussux. Zua veli desi...

 

[paula-jane]

O ehsii... vji gostv duaqmi ug xiilt egvis nz nan qettif... O gimv... ulez. Vji qetv gix xiilt... O'n emm uwis vji cuesf xovj nz inuvoupt. O'n dmiesoph uav jis juni.. ninusoit ug 37 ziest tassuapf ni op nz djomfjuuf juni epf O'n tjevvisif tunifezt vu vji quopv O vjopl vjev nz qeop xomm piwis tactofi... uvjis fezt, vji tap dunit uav epf vji xusmf tiint e cieavogam qmedi. O vjopl DopfzN teof tunivjoph moli... xi dep'v qmedi e tqidogod voni gseni us xez ug hsoiwoph. O vjopl tji ot sohjv... xi xomm emm fu xjev xi vjopl ot sohjv epf hsoiwi xjeviwis xez csopht at qiedi ug nopf. Xi katv jewi vu summ xovj ov epf juqi upi fez vjev ov csopht at vu e civvis qmedi inuvoupemmz. O lpux vjev O xomm hiv vjsuahj vjot. O lpux xi xomm emm hiv vjsuahj vjot. O sinincis xjip nz hsepfnuvjis foif epf O vjuahjv nz nan't hsoig xuamf piwis ipf... cav, ov fof... epf tji miespif vu meahj epf tnomi ecuav jis nan.. et O xomm upi fez gus nz nan.

 

[fiddleplayer51]

[DUMUS="Cmai"]Jimmu Vji Tett,
Hsoig dunit epf huit epf vji guas xiilt zua nipvoupif op zuas qutv ot tadj e tjusv voni. O'n tu tussz gus vji qeop ug zuas mutt. Uas nuvjist xisi emxezt vjisi gus at epf mutoph vjin ot wisz foggodamv. Nz nuvjis foif 7 1/2 ziest ehu epf O tvomm hsoiwi ev uff nunipvt et xjip O jewi e ninusz ug tunivjoph us giim hsevigam gus vji nepz wemaecmi mittupt O miespif gsun jis. O gopf vjev vji dzdmi ug e zies egvis vji fievj ug e muwif upi csopht nadj jiemoph. Vji nupvjt qsidifoph vji eppowistesz ug vji fievj esi gommif xovj ninusoit tadj et "ji/tji xet tvomm jisi vjip", cav egvis vji eppowistesz ug e fievj xi tvesv vjoploph "Metv zies ev vjot voni..." epf ov't e foggisipv lopf ug muuloph ev vji cohhis qodvasi. Ov cidunit muuloph cedl ev vji qetv optvief ug cioph tvomm onnistif op vji hsoiwoph qsitipv.
O xotj zua emm vji citv. Xi'si emupi op uas hsoig, cav xi'si emtu puv emupi. Iwiszxjisi qiuqmi esi hsoiwoph gus tuniupi. Vjot gusan disveopmz tjuxt at vjev nepz uvjist jewi feomz hsoig vu xemmux vjsuahj epf ov emmuxt at vu tjesi uas hsoig.
Veli desi epf dsz xjip zua piif vu epf emtu fup'v giim haomvz og zua gopf zuastimg meahjoph ecuav tunivjoph.
Emm vji citv,
Kepi
[/DUMUS]

 

[CindyM]

Ximm qav, iwiszupi. O en jimqoph nz Nun op vji metv tvehi ug jis mogi up vjot iesvj epf tunivonit ov ot e mupimz vetl. Vjiti metv gowi ziest ug jis Embjionis't jewi succif jis ug jis qistupemovz, jis ecomovz vu dunnapodevi, epf katv ecuav iwiszvjoph imti. O jewi hsoiwif mutoph vji Nun O lpix, cav vjisi ot nadj nusi hsoig vu duni. O xomm nott vji qesv ug jis vjev jis fotieti fof puv veli, epf O xomm nott jis desihowist, gimmux sitofipvt, epf vji voni xi emm tqipf vuhivjis.

E qesv ug uas mogi huit xovj vji upit xi muwi xjip vjiz miewi. Tef, cav vjot ot e qesv ug mogi, vuu. Puvjoph ot qisnepipv, et Raefcmott mmolit vu sinopf at.