What To Do

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wewillbeatthis

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Hello everyone,

Dad has his second trip to the ER since this whole thing began 3 years ago. He decided to walk around the bathroom without the cane. He fell back and banged his head on the door and cut it open on the side. 10 stiches later he is now really depressed, and scared to do much of anything. I am a nervous wreck and am more worried then ever before.

Dad stayed in all day yesterday and although getting around fine again he is very very depressed. Now I am calling him every 1/2 hour and asking him how he is doing and he is so mad at me that he was almost in tears telling me I'm sorry I can't tell you that I am any better then I am.

I just don't know what to do. He is so down, I am about to scream, and he is chopping ice and walking around after 2 feet of snow has fallen...

As either a PALS or a caregiver with PALS tell me what to do please?
 

Carol Deboer

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Hi Dear,

I remember many trips to the er to get Henry stitched up on his head and getting a cast on a broken arm too. It is the worst part of this dreaded diesease.
The falls are awful. It is just as hard to hear that thud as it is for them falling down. It is hard for them to give up their independence. I remember after Henry fell and broke his arm that we said no more walking without assistance. A short while later we started to use a wheelchair. We had to work together to keep him injury free. If you explain to them that is so hard for us as the caregivers to see them fall and get hurt maybe they understand better. It is a hard thing to do. I know that they want to do everything they can do for themselves for as long as possible, but there comes a point when you say enough is enough. It is scary and frustrating to watch them go downhill and resort to devices to help them stay stable, but it benefits everyone in the long run. Scream and cry all you want. I did. You have to let your emotions out. However, you must remain upbeat for him. I always said I deserved a best actress award for the face I put on for Henry. But, it did him a world of good to see me upbeat and positive, even when I felt like dying myself or burying my head in my pillow for days at a time. You have to remember that while we are alive we have to live. However difficult this is at the time our focus must remain on the person with als. Try to maintain a sense of normal if at all possible. You will get through it all. I know that it seems impossible right now, but, you will find a sense of calm and peace, I know. Stay Strong, and remember that you are not alone.

Hugs to you all, Carol
 

wewillbeatthis

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Carol,
Thank you so much for your response... I am so on edge that I am looking for a response every so often just to help me calm down...

Yes I am trying to seem upbeat and positive for him. I have never seen stiches or had them so to me I am thinking that 10 is really bad... I think that the problem is that dad was rushing his mind was going 100 miles a mint. the bathroom rug went right under him and down he went. I am so thankful that he is ok...

You mentioned that your husband fell lots of times... So then falling is normal and does this mean that cause they fall they are in need of more assiatance or that they are having a bad day?

I feel like he has a great week when things are so good not a slurred word in site, walking is slow but good, and he is chopping ice, cooking dinner, exercising, carrying paint cans, going to work and ripping wallpaper down.. Then the next couple of days he is speaking slow, walking slow, tired, and grumpy.... Sound familer to you?
 

TBear

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Hi:
My wife too fell for a few stitches after her diagnosis. It was her last day at work since she was a kindergarten teacher and there was a danger that, she could fall on a kid.

It happens and you go on... just like every other day.

Good Luck

T.
 

terri

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Hi,

Yep, those falls are hard to come to grips with. LB has had several. The last one he knocked a 27" TV right off the stand. It wasn't one of those new light weight ones either! Luckly, he was not hurt too bad. The thing is, I was right there and couldn't do a thing about it. He tries so hard to be careful and sometimes it just happens. We did take up all the throw rugs. They were causing him some unneccessary trips.
 

Carol Deboer

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There are several different reasons that people with als fall. Of course the obvious ones, such as weakening in the legs and loss of balance. Henrys arms went first so he had nothing to steady him. His arms were dead weight. So when he fell he fell over like a tree. It was awful. Being tired plays a big part in falling as well. Of course, we all have balance problems when we are overtired and with als patients it is much worse. I think sometimes Henry fell when he just forgot that he had als. He would just go too fast and stumble and well, you know the rest of the story. I do think that when falling becomes frequent and the injuries get more severe, it is time to look into mobile devices, such as a walker, cane, wheelchair etc. Does he have someone living in the house with him? Does he have nurse check on him? Men are so stubborn that they sometimes will not admit that they have to resort to other things to help them out. Too bad they were not as smart as us woman folk, life would be so much easier on us all! That macho thing can get so tiring! Good days, bad days, thats what als brings. Just remember all the good days and do not focus on what you cannot do anymore, focus on what you can do and go with that. I found that when Henry went into a wheelchair our worries became much less. And I know that he felt much more safe after he adjusted to it. It is just another curve with this als thing. Keep your spirits up and remember if you need anything just ask.

Carol
 

A Daughters Love

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Oct 8, 2005
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Hi Jen,
I to am so sorry to hear your Dad had to go to the hospital. When is your Dad supposed to move in with you and your future hubby? Would he think of moving the date up. I know that really helped when mom moved in with us. As she wasn't getting the 20 calls a day anymore, which were really starting to get on her nerves! The joy of having my mother live with us is so great, it really fills your heart. I know you won't regret it. Take the oportunity to really have fun with your Dad once he moves in. It will for sure help with the stress. Take care. I hope your Dad heals up fast, and don't forget, you can always count on me for a prayer when ever you need one!
 
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