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mbmurray

Distinguished member
Joined
Jan 10, 2013
Messages
117
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
01/2013
Country
US
State
VA
City
NOVA
After getting my diagnosis in Jan of this year, started planning bucket items. Tops was a trip to the Antarctic, no one wanted to go with me, so I settled on a cruise to Alaska, we are leaving this Saturday (10 days also spending some time in Vancouver).

Now the problem, my brother in-law, wife's sisters husband (They live 15 minutes from us and are over our house every week) has been in the hospital for the past 2 weeks. First it was to get a stent, but then his kidneys and liver has started to fail and now on ventilation. Tomorrow they are checking if he still has brain activity. Not looking good.

Should I continue to go on the cruise (my mom/dad are going as well as my sister and her daughter). My wife and I feel bad going if he passes especially before we leave on the cruise, but at the same time, not sure if/when I will be able to take a trip like this in the future (from a money and health perspective)....
 
I am very sorry to hear about your BIL. Does your SIL have other support ( other siblings,hers or his) parents or inlaws? If she has no one but you and your wife then you should think of staying. If she has good support and family dynamics are ok with it you should go. Just my opinion
 
Oh my gosh - you're in a tough spot. Especially since it sounds you are very close to them. I echo what Nikki said, but also keep in my mind, unless everyone in your party has cancelation insurance, they would lose everything. Also, if they do have such insurance, your parents and sister may be deemed too far removed ( not related) and their claim may be denied.

Given that you are close to them, I'm thinking your SIL would want you to sail away. I bet they were really excited for you when you booked the cruise. They would want the best for you. I hope you go on the trip. Time is not our friend.
 
My parents and sister don't have insurance for the cruise so they are going no matter what, the only reason they were going in the first place was because of me to spend quality time and make memories.

As for other relatives and family, my BIL has his sons and daughters in the area (1st marriage), as well as his brothers. My MIL actually lives next door to me (good and bad LOL), so my sister has her to lean on. We are leaning on going on the cruise, the SIL said we "should"go but what else is she going to say...
 
I echo Elaine and Nikki's advice. My brother is sort of in the same dilemma, my dad is dying and my brother has the chance to go to Mexico in January but he is afraid to go. I told him to go, its the only chance he will get to go and going or not going won't change things in the long run.

I hope you go and I am praying for your family.
 
Go. Your SIL has support. She will feel guilty if you cancel. I am so sorry for all of you but staying will not change whatever is happening.
 
You are a noble man, but go....
 
Since she has so much support, I know this is hard but I think you should go on the trip. Just my $.02 worth
Hollister
 
Thanks for all the comments, my BIL is still in the same condition, but we are planning on going. I need it, work is stressing me out, not good in general, but worse with ALS!
 
good! Pictures please!
 
Will do @hjlindley, get back on the 28th, hoping for nice relaxation time with family and neat times with nature (whale watching, bear feeding on salmon river, glacier walk, etc)
 
Happy sailing! You'll have a super time. Just don't become food for them there bears!

Go with a light heart.
 
My personal opinion... GO. It's 10 days and it's your life. I took my mom to Hawaii 2 months after she was diagnosed and am so thankful... the trip would have been near impossible even a couple more months down the road. Your family should understand. Do what you need to do to feel right about leaving, but be sure to enjoy every moment while you're away.
 
Wow, never thought that I would be a member of a site like this. Not sure how to start a new thread. I am a 28 year old female and the mother of a beautiful 6 month old son. I first became concerned when I noticed I was "walking funny." I was very weak in my legs (slower than molasis going up stairs) but I thought that was normal after childbirth. Went to a chiropractor, thought it was an alignment issue or perhaps a weird effect of my epidural I received during delivery. Chiropractor was great, but admitted right away that this was something call foot drop and told me to see a neurologist. So I did...a normal MRI and after an abnormal EMG test showing weakness in my feet, legs, hands, and arms the neurologist sent me to an nueromuscular specialist. The specialist gave me a thorough exam and another EMG which confirmed weakness in my legs and arms. He then said, "If you were 70, I would diagnose you with ALS right now, but because of your age and recent childbirth, I want to dig much further." So we have been digging...another normal MRI of head w/ contrast, 2 more rounds of blood work, and a spinal tap which has recently come back normal. ALS specialist said the spinal tap was the last test.
What confuses me so much is that I have absolutely no problems swallowing or chewing? Is it possible to diagnose ALS without bulbar issues? My husband and I are determined to "love me through" this nightmare that I just want to be over! Can't bear the thought of not seeing my 6 month old grow up, or even having another child.
 
Well got back from Alaska today, definitely an amazing place to visit....

The Good:
-- Kids had a blast on the ship and the excursions
-- I had a blast, picture is of me standing on a glacier outside of Juneau (took a helicopter to get up there)
-- Saw all the wildlife that I expected: Humpbacks, Eagles, Bears, Orcas
-- Ate too much LOL

The Bad:
-- BIL passed away mid way thru the trip, SIL held off on the funeral until we got back (viewing tomorrow, funural on Thur)

The Ugly
-- Had my first fall. I have read many stories on this and other forums about peoples experience with falls, and never really understood it. Well while standing in my stateroom, was trying to wiggle into my shoe on my right foot, and all of the sudden, no function in leg and I crumpled like a Mike Tyson opponent, only good things I was next to the bed and landed there.
 
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