What now?

Phonshetty

New member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
9
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
06/2018
Country
IND
State
Maharashtra
hi all , I lost my wife a week ago .... cant sleep much …. don't feel like doing anything … mind just keeps going back to the phone again and again... I have started remembering each and every detail of every memory... they are so vivid that im caught off guard … don't know what to do … cant handle it
 

lgelb

Forum Supporter
Moderator
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
7,755
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
09/2009
Country
US
State
WA
It takes time, but ultimately, you will remember more of the good than the bad, I promise.

If it has only been a week, you are still in the thick of it. Try to do things that you enjoy, however mundane, and just live your life as best you can and let the memories break over you like waves. You are moving -- it is just very slow for now.

Best,
Laurie
 

Narrowminded

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,532
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
Try as best you can to relax and roll with what you are feeling, cry and cry long and hard if you need to, go for a walk or something similar. Wander around a store not really looking at anything, but maybe something will catch your eye. Whatever can occupy your mind a bit while the feeling flow through. The first weeks are rough, but I won’t lie, months down the road can be tough too.

Hugs
 

ReginaS

Forum Supporter
Distinguished member
Joined
Nov 20, 2018
Messages
167
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
02/2018
Country
US
State
LL
So sorry for your loss. It's difficult, isn't it? Coming home to an 'empty' home. No more care taking, partner to love, eyes to look into, hands to hold or smiles. I could go on and on with this list ;-)
My pALS died about 5 weeks ago. Most of the time I am rather calm and consider myself very lucky for all the truly wonderful times we had together. He's gone. The time we had together is a true gift. My feelings might change in time. Maybe I won't feel so calm in a while. For now they wrap me like a blanket.

One week after I lost my partner I was in a meeting and a person whom I did not know was sitting next to me. I asked him what brought him to the meeting and he said that he had lost his wife 4 months ago. (It was not a grief group). Then I told him a bit about my story. Now we sometimes sit next to each other and it is consoling for both of us.
 

Phonshetty

New member
Joined
Aug 8, 2018
Messages
9
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
06/2018
Country
IND
State
Maharashtra
The waves keep hitting me ..... It try to be strong ...for her parents and my parents sake ...they were very close to her ....but I am so close to losing it .... It feels so awkward when the whole world moves on as if nothing has happened ....I'm also trying .... Playing squash twice a day so hard that now my arms pain...but that's at least better then to feel this way ....
 

Narrowminded

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Apr 30, 2016
Messages
2,532
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
07/2007
Country
US
State
PA
You are absolutely normal. Everyone one of us grieves a bit differently, but everyone of us has felt and will feel like you do right now. I’m 8 months out, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have whole days or even whole weekends or even weeks where I’m not right back where you are now.

Try to focus on good memories or even no memories is that is easier right now. Find something to distract you a bit if you can.

Hugs
 
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