siskiya
New member
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2012
- Messages
- 2
- Reason
- Friend was DX
- Country
- US
- State
- California
- City
- mt shasta
sir, your message really hit me hard about how words can hurt as much as being physically hit at times. I am very sorry about your wife ending her life. I know it is incredibly hard on you right now and in grief we say things we never have the guts to say in any other situation. I know i have done same thing as well. I do not care if others disagree..seems many agree but that is not might point. To say something as you said it well bottom line to me is there has to me truth to it period.
Hopefully, it will help to create a positive change in this support group. I am here because I have good friend with it and what to learn about it and know how to be there as he worsens. I refuse to chicken out and not continue to be there no matter how tough it is emotionally on me because it does not matter about me...it matters about him.
I do belong to number of other groups that tend to deal with chronic type of diseases like diabetes. One in particular was exceptionally more harsh and one of my first groups online. I was at first surprised that no one was taking off clearly the main person who was the meanest. I realized she was the administrator. lol! I tried to just ignore her and avoid her but some days...how she treated newbies i just could not keep myself quiet so i where all my messages had to approved by her. So i just stop even going there and found some others...which were great.
But, I have come to notice that in groups you can get the group mentality if clique gets in control of it...like sharks attacking when they smell blood. I am positive that is like what happen in that first group. I saw people try to change it and she just cut them down.
Here..there are many decent people that I can see. I noticed one persons said administrator has not been around for long time. That very well could be part of problems since you really do need one because there are always those people who get pleasure causing pain for others...sick as it sounds. Maybe a new one could step in? Take over...i am not sure how this one is set up.
As to that other group...after recently got a email from that group and i realized I have not got any for many months now. So I went to see what was going on. Message was...where has everyone gone? lol! I looked at history and no new messages for long long time...i realized that same 3/4 people all lived in same area of US. It than hit me what that group really might be...a place where some sick people get enjoyment causing pain for those whom are sick. But Karma kicked in and no one was participating anymore...now they were stuck with only themselves! lol!
But sir...i do believe this group does have hope really sincerely but than like I have said i am new and have not been on it all that much. I have no read anything even near as harsh as that other group. I saw that some people mention wit, jokes, off color comments etc...one thing I have learned about expressing oneself through the word is often it is hard to understand the tone or intent behind it. Many times I have either misunderstood a friends chat or email or been misunderstood because i could not tell the tone/intent of the words.
I can easily see how what one person might see as wit another might see as out of line. Does not mean either is wrong or right just misunderstanding. Of course, i get there are cruel people on groups..and i am positive by this man's message that it is very real on this group.
But i still think there is great hope by things i have read over the last month since i joined. But i do think it is very important that some kind of leader be put in charge...just so those cruel ones can be dealt with instead of causing pain for those cannot defend themselves for various reasons. Plus...i hate for one person to be push to edge of suicide by cruel remarks made on a support group of all places!
I hope this was not the case with your wife if you feel it was...oh i am so sorry. I can only imagine the anger I personally would feel..frustration etc not being able to stop the cruelty. I think that is why so many of you maybe feeling is just that.
I think your message said in pain of grief really hit home with many people. I know it did for me. Hopefully it will now change for the better. Hopefully someone will step forward and take over the leader role...this looks like site where that is possible. that way at least if someone is way out of line...some one can flag them and leader can give them option to be considerate or banned.
I am so very sorry for you loss too...i get it that this site there are many..too many. Sure that makes it hard on the group in general as well. You know...i feel like sending a lot of people over here from those with chronic diseases...yes they can hurt, be huge pain in the ass but at the end of day you still have hope that possibly tomorrow i will go into remission for month or longer. Or tomorrow a new pill will be found to make our lives easier...we have hope. This site...that is taken away and it has to be so hard for all sides..person with it, those that love them and even the doctors who treat them. It makes it much harder emotionally...so please to not give up just yet.
Hopefully, it will help to create a positive change in this support group. I am here because I have good friend with it and what to learn about it and know how to be there as he worsens. I refuse to chicken out and not continue to be there no matter how tough it is emotionally on me because it does not matter about me...it matters about him.
I do belong to number of other groups that tend to deal with chronic type of diseases like diabetes. One in particular was exceptionally more harsh and one of my first groups online. I was at first surprised that no one was taking off clearly the main person who was the meanest. I realized she was the administrator. lol! I tried to just ignore her and avoid her but some days...how she treated newbies i just could not keep myself quiet so i where all my messages had to approved by her. So i just stop even going there and found some others...which were great.
But, I have come to notice that in groups you can get the group mentality if clique gets in control of it...like sharks attacking when they smell blood. I am positive that is like what happen in that first group. I saw people try to change it and she just cut them down.
Here..there are many decent people that I can see. I noticed one persons said administrator has not been around for long time. That very well could be part of problems since you really do need one because there are always those people who get pleasure causing pain for others...sick as it sounds. Maybe a new one could step in? Take over...i am not sure how this one is set up.
As to that other group...after recently got a email from that group and i realized I have not got any for many months now. So I went to see what was going on. Message was...where has everyone gone? lol! I looked at history and no new messages for long long time...i realized that same 3/4 people all lived in same area of US. It than hit me what that group really might be...a place where some sick people get enjoyment causing pain for those whom are sick. But Karma kicked in and no one was participating anymore...now they were stuck with only themselves! lol!
But sir...i do believe this group does have hope really sincerely but than like I have said i am new and have not been on it all that much. I have no read anything even near as harsh as that other group. I saw that some people mention wit, jokes, off color comments etc...one thing I have learned about expressing oneself through the word is often it is hard to understand the tone or intent behind it. Many times I have either misunderstood a friends chat or email or been misunderstood because i could not tell the tone/intent of the words.
I can easily see how what one person might see as wit another might see as out of line. Does not mean either is wrong or right just misunderstanding. Of course, i get there are cruel people on groups..and i am positive by this man's message that it is very real on this group.
But i still think there is great hope by things i have read over the last month since i joined. But i do think it is very important that some kind of leader be put in charge...just so those cruel ones can be dealt with instead of causing pain for those cannot defend themselves for various reasons. Plus...i hate for one person to be push to edge of suicide by cruel remarks made on a support group of all places!
I hope this was not the case with your wife if you feel it was...oh i am so sorry. I can only imagine the anger I personally would feel..frustration etc not being able to stop the cruelty. I think that is why so many of you maybe feeling is just that.
I think your message said in pain of grief really hit home with many people. I know it did for me. Hopefully it will now change for the better. Hopefully someone will step forward and take over the leader role...this looks like site where that is possible. that way at least if someone is way out of line...some one can flag them and leader can give them option to be considerate or banned.
I am so very sorry for you loss too...i get it that this site there are many..too many. Sure that makes it hard on the group in general as well. You know...i feel like sending a lot of people over here from those with chronic diseases...yes they can hurt, be huge pain in the ass but at the end of day you still have hope that possibly tomorrow i will go into remission for month or longer. Or tomorrow a new pill will be found to make our lives easier...we have hope. This site...that is taken away and it has to be so hard for all sides..person with it, those that love them and even the doctors who treat them. It makes it much harder emotionally...so please to not give up just yet.