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Lou3892

Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2009
Messages
10
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
07/2009
Country
US
State
NY
City
NEW ROCHELLE
Hello guys:

i've been trying to avoid coming back to site, because it stirs up a lot of emotions. My father unfortunately passed away on 4/24. I am so confused as to what everything that happened. he went into the ER because of his stomach, his belly was bothering him and was really distended. he ended up having his diaphragm being pushed up by his stomach distention. This caused him to have two respiratory failures that day. He was intubated and later was extubated successfully. To make a story short his gallbladder was inflamed and infected and he had colitis. he was able to breathe correctly and abg test were great, but he's belly was the problem. it would be somewhat distended and firm or distended and soft. I came into his room at the hospital with the nurse telling me that he had not had a good night sleep and they had given him morphine to ease the pain. The nurse said that he had said no more to the night nurse and to her, they had both understood that clearly. I should mention that the doctor had spoken to be the day before telling me that he was reacting to the antibiotics and that i just had to wait and see. Also, my family had agree to put him on the morphine drip, because the ostomy would have to remain in place indefinitely just in case this would happen again and that morphine would be applied on a regular basis. Going back to the story, he was not getting any better so he was getting really weak.----was this the right thing to do
 

Miss

Very helpful member
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
1,757
Reason
Lost a loved one
Diagnosis
04/2010
Country
US
State
In the Land of Cotton
City
Way Down South
I don't think we can go back and second guess decisions. It's not worth the effort or the emotion. Your father has a child that cares enough want an explanation. That is the mark of a life well lived. There is no rhyme or reason for the way ALS plays out. Possibly, your father was spared great misery. Peace to you all.
 

Al

Moderator emeritus
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
7,960
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
10/2003
Country
CA
State
On
City
NW of Toronto
Sorry for the loss of your father Lou. Keep the good memories alive and try not to dwell on the bad.

AL.
 

kmendsley

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
431
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
US
State
CA
City
Highland
It is common for us to go back and think 'what could I have done to change things so that there would be a different outcome?" The answer is nothing. Our minds try to figure out different results of things that could of been...but in the end we still have the same result..and since we can not go back into the past...it is just best to accept that. At that moment in time you thought that this was the best option for your father, so you did what you did, and that is what was supposed to happen. Take comfort in that your father is no longer in misery but a more peaceful place for sure without pain. My highest condolences for your loss. Take care.
Kell Bell
 

Pat Paine

Distinguished member
Joined
Aug 20, 2010
Messages
186
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
03/2010
Country
US
State
California
City
Benicia
Dear Lou,
Do not second guess a decision made out of love for you dad.
His suffering ended and he is in a more peaceful place. He was lucky to have such a caring son.
blessings, Pat
 

John1

Very helpful member
Joined
Feb 25, 2006
Messages
1,028
Diagnosis
10/2000
Country
CA
State
NL
City
Newfoundland
Hi Lou,

I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I really doubt anyone here is qualified to answer your question. If you feel you must know to get some peace, I suggest you seek an answer from a specialist or perhaps your family doctor. Even they, without having full access to the facts of the situation, may not be able to answer. Again so sorry about your father. Take solace in knowing you were a loving and caring son to him.
 

brooksea

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
5,171
Reason
Other
Country
HM
Lou, y'all did the best you could with the information the docs gave you! What more could you have done?

I hope you will find peace in knowing your father is now at peace...

Bless you for being so concerned!
 

abbigaill2

Active member
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
90
Diagnosis
12/2010
Country
CA
State
Saskatchewan
City
Willow Bunch
Lou I am a nurse who just lost her husband, at home, to this dreaded disease. He passed so suddenly that I have been asking myself if I missed something. He was comfortable talking and smiling 5 minutes earlier. My younger sister who also is a widow said to me. There sometimes are no answers. I hope you find peace and you have my deepest heartfelt sympathy.
 
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