What a Day

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Lkaibel

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My husband and I have many animals. Until today, we had three dogs and four cats. Now that is three cats. Today, we had to make that last vet visit with our Holly. She was likely at least 14 and probably older. I got her and brought her home three years ago when the 50 something woman who had her for several years died unexpectedly.

Holly loved Brian. As for me, she just sort of put up with me but they were so sweet together. So, it's a hard loss. The prognosis for kidney failure in a cat her age in particular is very poor, and she had gone downhill fast. I feel bad that Brian had to go through this with his own life ending illness in play.

So, this morning, my husband talked to his sister on the phone, told her about the cat and discuss his own decline and eventual demise. Then I went to work. Then I came home early to go with him for Holly. Cat death, terminally ill husband, phone conversations so depressing and somehow all I feel is sort of sad and sort of crabby, like fed up/tired.

I shed not one tear yet today for that poor kitty. I feel terrible for Brian but I am at the same time somehow just dried up and tired inside.

I think I need a good sleep.
 

Nikki J

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I am sorry. I completely get it. I can't put it into words very well but you only have so much energy to feel

Holly was a lucky kitty. Condolences to Brian and you ( and the fur family)
 

Smith2026

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Lenore, I understand where you are coming from. I feel like every emotion except for anger has been shut down with inside of me. I feel that I have one mission right now and it's to stay strong and deal with my dads ALS. Just went through this in 2014 with my mom, she passed on from cancer. Stay strong girl and smile.
 

scaredwifetx

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Lenore, I understand completely. I think there is only one emotion left in me and that's anger. I don't even show it very often.
 

Lkaibel

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Thanks everyone. Good to know I'm not a freak.
 

Narrowminded

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Lenore - I am so sorry for the loss of your furbabie. That is something that is very hard whether you have a PALS or not.

Hugs,

Sue
 

KimT

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I'm so sorry, Lenore. Please tell Brian I'm sorry and he remains in my prayers.
 

Manhattanite

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So sorry for the loss of your family member. Our kitty is 17 years old and I consider her my PALS' nurse. I keep asking for the vet for reassurance that kitty will outlive my PALS because I don't think he would be able to tolerate losing her.

I understand the lack of tears. I cried so much the first month after my PALS was diagnosed but I have not shed a tear since. You just have to become numb to certain things in order to keep going.
 

vltsra

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I'm sorry about your kitty, Lenore. We lost a cat to bladder cancer a few years ago. She was my PALS' baby and he loved to spoil her. I'm sad for Brian and hope he will have sweet memories of Holly.

V
 

affected

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Sorry it was such a hard day, particularly for Brian to lose a companion, and you to realise how emotionally draining this whole thing is. Being able to realise this and tell us is a really healthy thing - no sign of freak in there at all girl xxx
 

Lkaibel

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Thanks again everyone. You just never know, I may lose it one day because I run of eggs or something.

It has been a better day. As people who have many animals, we have been through this before but it was harder in the present situation for sure.

Even the thought of what life was like when she came to us three years ago vs. now was hard.

"Drink in your Summers, gather your corn, the dreams of the night time vanish by dawn". I feel like our old life was just all a dream when I hear that line from the Rolling Stones "Time Waits for No One". Holly was a beautiful little companion and I am so glad I picked her up and brought her home.
 

Barbie

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I get not crying about something that should make you cry and being overwhelmed with emotion over something silly like running out of eggs. LOL

ALS makes you hard and tattered inside at the same time. you are doing your best. be kind to yourself

sending a hug
 
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