Well meaning people

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10steps

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I don't know how to curb the well meaning folks that are really just creating more stress. I'm a bit angry right now. My sister in law came over while I was at work and had my husband drink her elixer...basically he drank about a cup of butter - she wanted him to drink more. he doesn't swallow all that reliably. Now lets see what time he needs me to get him to the bathroom - no easy feat and not something he can do himself. He's now nervous he's going to mess himself - justifiably so -and her reply was she will come over and clean him up. Oh really, he'll just marinate the 45minutes it will take for her to get to our house - spectacular - thanks so much. Then she can figure out how to change him and replace his recliner. It ticks me off this happens while I have to work...he's defenseless and there not a whole lot he can do.
I don't need anymore of this kind of help. i'm venting but I'm also throwing all her herbs and spices out!
 

brooksea

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Dang! I thought I was reading a post I had written myself! Love the "marinate" reference!

I just accept the vitamins, herbs, articles and keep them for a while, then throw them away/give them away (unless they may be of a real benefit to either one of us). I research them to see if it is worth him taking another "pill" or "concoction."

At least I have control, somewhat, over the situation. Sounds like your SIL needs to learn a bit more about caregiving for a pALS, especially when the cALS works.
 

Katie C

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My fallback was always a bit of a white lie... "I understand you're trying to help but his doctor has said [x] could actually be harmful with his particular condition" And in your case, it sounds like it genuinely could be harmful! Poor thing! Anyway of keeping sis out of the house when you're not there? Change the locks. Get a big hungry guard dog?
 

KKay

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Wow. That is really obnoxious. I can think of a number of things to say, but will keep it to this. Your SIL is walking a fine line of trying to help/ save your husband. She seems desperate and they are very difficult people to have around. Tell her your husband will lose all confidence in her if she uses him as a guinea pig for elixirs. And that before she gives him anything to talk with you first and you will run it by him, that way HE is in control. Which he needs the most. If she wants to do something kind for your husband spontaneously, suggest she make his favorite meal or bring over a special treat he really enjoys. Then he will feel somewhat normal and happy and that is the best medicine there is.
 
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