Thank you all so much for your kindness. This group's (family's!) support means more than you'll ever know. I feel very positive about the change, no matter how hard I fought it. I keep thinking now, I was an idiot to not take real action before this. What would have happened if one of my choking episodes didn't end happily, and Paul would be left here alone?
In the hospital, my greatest fear was that he would try to drive to see me. When I pushed the emergency button I wear for 911, and the disembodied voice boomed out, "Are you all right? Do you need help?" he answered in the other room, "No, we're fine!." He had no idea where the voice was coming from, of course. They couldn't hear me or understand me. Fortunately, they telephoned, and I got to the DynaVox, but when the ambulance came, Paul told them he would follow them in the car, and I was frantically typing "No, don't let him drive!" on the LightWriter (before it conked out). Last time he drove to the store alone (6 blocks away), he ended up in Malibu, 30 miles away, in a private estate, surrounded by security guards. Thank God, they saw that he was confused and got him home OK.
So, in the hospital, the nurse would pop her head in, and say, "We called your husband, he's coming to pick you up," and I was madly signaling, "No, no." But it turned out, after the ambulance left, he forgot I'd gone, and they only reached the caregiver, who had arrived after I was taken away, and stayed overnight with him. Thank heavens.
I don't know what the nurse's workload was, but the assistant nurse was handling 27 patients on Saturday. Normally, I'm not shy about writing stern letters ... or ones full of praise ... but I'm going to let this slide. It was my wake-up call. I've been an idiot not to acknowledge to myself my husband's real state, and his needs. Once I get him settled in a good place (and me there, too, to keep nagging him), with some money from the house to take care of him when I croak, I'll feel much better about everything!
Thanks again, everybody! As Joel says, prepare early and thoroughly.