Very sensitive question: intimate nature

[Pearl]

I have a question about intimate activities - friends of mine have attempted to engage in regular marital relations, but it was very exhausting for the husband (ALS patient). He has bulbar onset and apparently he has trouble breathing when reclined. He does sit up for these activites, but even with that it made him extremely winded and his wife is concerned that it might just be too much for him. (She doesn't want to "kill" the man ) I think it also made her very sad because, well , it's like this damned disease is taking everything from him. Anyone have any tactful suggestions? Would resting with the Bipap right before such an activity help?

 

[CindyM]

Hello Pearl. I have yet to see a question on this forum for which someone does not have an answer. Sometimes there are several good answers! Hang in and someone will respond soon. I'd offer advice from the female perspective but as I am not on a Bipap (knock on wood) the question is a little too advanced for the stage I am at.

 

[Al]

Tact is my middle name but questions like this do come up and I haven't seen them addressed in any of the literature that I have read other than to say that you can still relate on a personal basis with ALS. Now how detailed should I get? OK here goes. Kissing ,touching and other foreplay can be done standing ,sitting etc and the Bipap mask can be put on when the need to recline is felt. It is not the best solution but it is not that bad once you get used to it. Speaking from a guy's point of view. Afterwards snuggling ,holding etc can still be done with the mask on. I do that every night anyway.
There are different positions that can be used as well. Does anyone remember the Michael Douglas movie where they were on the kitchen counter? The man can stand at the side of the bed and I hope you can imagine the rest because I don't want to get censored. Where there is a will there is a way. You just have to be a bit more creative and forget all that missionary position stuff. Hope this helps and doesn't get me in trouble with Lee. I don't think I've given away any of our secrets.

 

[Pearl]

Thank you for your frank reply. How else can we all help each other, right? I'll pass on this tips.

 

[NvrGiveUp]

Al

Just browsing through the forum to read stuff about trach/vent and came upon this thread. Just wanted to say that I think Al is so COOL. People shouldn't be shy about these things, that's for sure. I hope that all couples will be able to enjoy intimacy for as long as they can.

Pam

 

[quadbliss]

:-D Another reason I am glad to be on a vent.

 

[patricia1]

OH Mike you made me blush Pat