Status
Not open for further replies.

bwilli

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2011
Messages
2
Reason
PALS
Diagnosis
03/2010
Country
US
State
Minnesota
City
Minneapolis
My son-in-law is 35 and was recently diagnosed with ALS. He has 2 small children and has become verbally abusive to them and my daughter since the diagnosis. We understand how angry he is but not sure how to help him as he doesn't really seem to want to help himself. He will not go to anyone for help nor attend any support groups. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this situation? He doesn't want his boys to know he is sick and since they are 4 and 5 we are not really sure they would understand anyways.
 
My heart breaks for your daughter. My husband has also become very verbally abusive since the diagnosis. However, at 15 and 18, I could explain it to my children. I don't know what the answer is except that your daughter cannot allow him to continue. Call in the reserves! Friends, family, church, anywhere you can find someone who will read him the riot act. Maybe that will get through to him.
 
Is he scheduled for his next appointment at the ALS clinic? You can call ahead and talk to the social worker. There is medication that can be prescribed that will help.

Your daughter does not need this aggravation.
 
Take Joel's advice and get a handle on this now!

My son was 6 when my husband was ALS diagnosisd, he is now 10. We did not understand what was happening soon enough before the damage was done, as my husband has emotional lability. My son now resents him and I just recently have taken him to therapy. It's so hard for a young child to understand these issues (adults too). We finally put my husband on anti-depressants. They do help, but if your son-in-law does have emotional lability, there is a new drug called Neudexta that the FDA just approved.

I'm sure your son-in-law would never want his children to end up resenting him, so having your daughter speak with the social worker about the situation would definitely be a good thing. Otherwise she is asking for more turmoil than she could ever imagine with those poor kids involved!

Good luck to you all!
 
He unfortunately will not go to anyone not even the ALS clinic. I must say I was probably a little misleading as it was easier but they are actually divorced but because my daughter wanted him to be able to spend as much time as possible with his boys she is taking care of him. He won't listen to anything anyone has to say and he now has no place else to go as his family really isn't a part of his life and probably wouldn't help even if they were. We had all of them living with us for awhile but that was way too stressful for everyone. I will call the clinic however and see if they can make some recommendations. Thanks for listening as I can see how important these posts are.
 
Kick him in the nuts!...kidding ofcoarse! I think I know what he is thinking, and he should get over it. He hasn't surrendered yet. Its like this....your going to loose a loved one, but he is going to loose all that he loves. Early in this disease, its easy to think how much easier it would be if I did not love so many people. Just try to treat him no different than before. He is trying to ignore the disease (thats how I dealt with it) good luck!
 
Simple answer: he needs a psych evaluation. Fairly simple but harder answer: he doesn't see his kids until he gets one. If he's not going to take care of himself, then your daughter's first priority needs to be the kids. And.. if he sees she is serious he might follow through.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top