Pandora
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2011
- Messages
- 130
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 01/2011
- Country
- US
- State
- Texas
- City
- Crowley
I have had the worst week. Things have been very trying. The lack of sleep has been nipping on my heels, the family has been less then helpful (as always), the bills keep rolling in, the laundry mound is bigger then ever, the grass is brown and about knee high, and my hubby is going down hill. He sleeps more now, but it's never a restful sleep, have to move him about every 30 min or so. But the worst thing , I know it may sound so trivial compaired to everything else is..... She showed up.
I guess I should expaline who “She” is. She was a friend of my husbands since high school. They had a very messed up friendship (in my eyes). He had it bad for her, but she never looked at him that way or so she said. But everytime she broke up with someone, she called on him to pick up the pieces. This lasted through college, and even into their adult lives. When ever he had a girlfriend, she would twist and turn things and break them up. She didn't want him, but she didn't want him to have anyone but her.
When my husband and I met, he wanted me to try to be friends with her. I tried, but it didn't work out so well. She would call and ask me to go to coffee or something, and then not show up. I would find out later, she would be at my boyfriends apartment. She then got married and we didn't hear from her for a while. Well when that ended, she yet again called on my husband (boyfriend at the time). I didn't like him picking up her pieces again. We got married a few months after that, and moved out of state. Things were fine. But we had to come back. We had 2 years with out her while we have been back.
Then I found the text messages on his cell phone. She would say the most awful things about me to him. Begging him to divorce me. Saying she would always be there for him, and that he really only needed her. I was livid! I got really mad and gave him the “Get rid of her or I am out the door” and I meant it. So I thought everything was alright. She was even seeing someone at the time.
<flash forward 6 months>
In December when my husband was starting the ALS track, he was in the hospital. Anyone care to guess who was his nurse? YEP HER! I was told I could ask for a new nurse, but I thought if anyone would take care of him and really care, it would be her. So I allowed it. We haven't heard anything from her since. But Saturday, she shows up on my door step. Saying she wanted to see him. I declined, and said he was sleeping. She demanded that I let her see him. I told her I would tell him she stopped by. She told me that “she is no threat to me now, and I owed it to her”. I owe her nothing. She said she wanted to see him and say her goodbyes, and she didn't want the last chance to be at his funeral (not like she would be invited). Well I wonder just who she has been talking to, no one has said anything about him being close to death. She said that I can't keep him from her. That she would take legal action if I didn't let her see him.
I can keep him from her. I owe her nothing. I laugh at her “legal action”. Please don't misunderstand, I don't want to not let him have friends, just her. Not the munipulation, evil influence, that she is. Am I wrong? I want her out of our life. She means nothing to me, and I do not have to make it easy for her to
cause me upset, I have enough issus at the moment. Any ideas on how to make her understand she won't get with in 50 feet of him?
Sorry it sounds so petty, but now the little things get to me.
I guess I should expaline who “She” is. She was a friend of my husbands since high school. They had a very messed up friendship (in my eyes). He had it bad for her, but she never looked at him that way or so she said. But everytime she broke up with someone, she called on him to pick up the pieces. This lasted through college, and even into their adult lives. When ever he had a girlfriend, she would twist and turn things and break them up. She didn't want him, but she didn't want him to have anyone but her.
When my husband and I met, he wanted me to try to be friends with her. I tried, but it didn't work out so well. She would call and ask me to go to coffee or something, and then not show up. I would find out later, she would be at my boyfriends apartment. She then got married and we didn't hear from her for a while. Well when that ended, she yet again called on my husband (boyfriend at the time). I didn't like him picking up her pieces again. We got married a few months after that, and moved out of state. Things were fine. But we had to come back. We had 2 years with out her while we have been back.
Then I found the text messages on his cell phone. She would say the most awful things about me to him. Begging him to divorce me. Saying she would always be there for him, and that he really only needed her. I was livid! I got really mad and gave him the “Get rid of her or I am out the door” and I meant it. So I thought everything was alright. She was even seeing someone at the time.
<flash forward 6 months>
In December when my husband was starting the ALS track, he was in the hospital. Anyone care to guess who was his nurse? YEP HER! I was told I could ask for a new nurse, but I thought if anyone would take care of him and really care, it would be her. So I allowed it. We haven't heard anything from her since. But Saturday, she shows up on my door step. Saying she wanted to see him. I declined, and said he was sleeping. She demanded that I let her see him. I told her I would tell him she stopped by. She told me that “she is no threat to me now, and I owed it to her”. I owe her nothing. She said she wanted to see him and say her goodbyes, and she didn't want the last chance to be at his funeral (not like she would be invited). Well I wonder just who she has been talking to, no one has said anything about him being close to death. She said that I can't keep him from her. That she would take legal action if I didn't let her see him.
I can keep him from her. I owe her nothing. I laugh at her “legal action”. Please don't misunderstand, I don't want to not let him have friends, just her. Not the munipulation, evil influence, that she is. Am I wrong? I want her out of our life. She means nothing to me, and I do not have to make it easy for her to
cause me upset, I have enough issus at the moment. Any ideas on how to make her understand she won't get with in 50 feet of him?
Sorry it sounds so petty, but now the little things get to me.