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New member
Sep 8, 2007
Friend was DX
West Palm Beach
I went to visit an old friend at his place of business and was informed by an employee that he has been diagnosed with ALS and hasn't been there for a few months. Years ago we worked together and our job was very physical and he was a big strong guy. His partner told me that he has been trying to keep this disease to himself because he can't get around and he's not the big strong figure he was. I can only imagine what he's dealing with. How can I help him. Should I visit him at home, what's he thinking right now?
Hi twodmacks - How nice you are trying to help your friend. If there is anything you wish to knwo about th effects of this disease you have certainly came to the right place. We have hundreds of members willing to share their experiences. You can learn a lot from the search tab at the top of this screen, too.

I am guessing he won't mind a visit. PALS get lonely and miss their former lives. Perhaps you can tell him about your visit here and point him in this direction. He may enjoy ocnversing with ohter PALS. Cindy
By all means, go visit him. But be prepared. It is especially tough for someone that has been athletic or physical all their life to realize that their muscles are wasting away. It is not only a physical battle, but an emotional/mental one as well.

If you truly care for this individual, go and offer your support in any way that you can. But please, do not offer unless you really intend on following through. I do not mean to offend, but seeing what my husband has gone through, I speak from experience. A lot of times people cannot deal with the idea of being around a person that is deteriorating. I hope that your friend has a slow progression and you will be able to do things together. The few friends that have stood by my husband take him places where they can enjoy each others company and participate in activities while he is still able. You would be a true blue friend if you were able to just be there for him. Most PALS will not ask for help or tell you they need help. Does your friend have a wife or someone close to him that you could talk to before you see him? My husband has one friend that calls me to find out what my husband would like to do around the house (projects that need to be finished) and I tell him. He then shows up and suggests they work on it together.

Anyway, I can tell you that your friend probably is thinking life is not fair, unless he has gotten past the shock of the diagnosis. Does he have children? That is another factor.

Please be a friend, a real friend. You could bring him some happiness that he may be lacking right now.

It is great that you are even trying to seek out information about ALS and how to approach your friend. Just remember he is still him! His body is just changing, that's all.

Good luck and keep us informed. Others may have more insight into this than I.
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