KevinM
Senior member
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2019
- Messages
- 559
- Reason
- PALS
- Diagnosis
- 06/2019
- Country
- US
- State
- FL
- City
- Tallahassee
Since I am slowly being driven insane from my constant twitching, I have been researching on some VERY reputable anonymous internet chat rooms and found three distinctly appealing treatments. I’d like my brothers and sisters here to weigh in on which one I should try first.
Option 1 - a poultice made from creamy peanut butter, lip balm, and crushed dung beetles;
Option 2 - a tincture comprised of Italian dressing and the pineal gland extract from male adolescent iguanas:
Option 3 - injecting myself with bleach.
Again, these all appear to be medically valid (though some naysayers might label them as “alternative” therapies) since I read about them on the internet. Therefore it must be true.
Speak up and let me know your favorite! It’s a lazy Saturday and I’m busy collecting the raw materials. The iguanas have proved a bit trickier than I thought, however.
Your favorite guinea pig, Kevin
Option 1 - a poultice made from creamy peanut butter, lip balm, and crushed dung beetles;
Option 2 - a tincture comprised of Italian dressing and the pineal gland extract from male adolescent iguanas:
Option 3 - injecting myself with bleach.
Again, these all appear to be medically valid (though some naysayers might label them as “alternative” therapies) since I read about them on the internet. Therefore it must be true.
Speak up and let me know your favorite! It’s a lazy Saturday and I’m busy collecting the raw materials. The iguanas have proved a bit trickier than I thought, however.
Your favorite guinea pig, Kevin