- Jan 28, 2016
- Lost a loved one
One month and one day! I'm checking in to say hello and to let you know that this forum is still so very helpful. Since Jim's death I have been surrounded by family and our three sons. I've had wonderful support from so many. But still I cannot leave this journey behind. Jim's funeral was held on our farm,with so many attending to say goodbye. Someone counted over 700 cars! Can you believe this? It all seems such a blurr now. After the organisation needed to conduct a farewell gathering. We even had to mow the paddock as it is summer here and we were worried that cars driven on dry grass would start a bush fire! Plenty of wine and beer was consumed. The local school and neighbours all catered with amazing food. My man was certainly farewelled just as he would have wanted...a big party! Only now,all I keep flashing back to is the awfulness of ALS. I try so hard to see beauty in my surroundings,but, I keep reliving in my mind,our last moments,our last day,the last symptoms that tipped my beautiful man to say " no more" after fighting such a courageous battle, he couldn't do it anymore. I can only shed tears when I am alone. ( usually in the shower) or when I read of other cals battles. So thank you for having a group for past carers. It allows me to speak my mind a bit. For ages I wanted to be free of a life with ALS and now I am free,it doesn't seem to want to be gone.