CJ, I don't consider it being a cold hearted *****. After having to put a protective mechanism of isolation--for lack of a better word--around myself for so long, I've become extremely wary of people. I agree with Pandora, about big hearts and all; we are easy targets by our very nature. I used to believe that most people were good at heart, even if they had to dig deep. But that's not the reality out there. As for myself, being burned by family, and those I considered close friends, has caused me to pass on any "new" relationships that involve trust. I'm still trying to find some redemption in the "old" ones. I wish I could say something to the effect like, "you will find people in your future who are more like you; that you'll experience relationships in the future, where you share common personality traits". For now, I'm fine with being the "strange lady" next door too. I've always been too naive, so I guess I'm really erring on the side of caution these days.
It's a shame that forum members are so far away from each other. I feel as though I could go visit many of the people on here, and would have instant reciprocal, new best friends in an instant. I was not able to attend ALSA support groups, as they were held on days when I was always caring for my mom (yep, couldn't even get one of my wonderful family members, to take over for a measly two hours). But I'll bet, if I had been able to attend on a regular basis, I would now have some very special, local people in my life. I might still give that a try.
BTW, I don't think this was a case of naivete on your part, this woman does sound like a true blue nutcase. Clever? IDK about that--she sounds like a deviant, creep of a person. Hopefully, she didn't cause any permanent damage. Please don't let one bad experience, keep you from carefully putting yourself out there. Keep hope, and faith alive. For those of us who have had bad experiences, I think when we least expect it, you will--we all will--find humanity once again. TRUST is number one on my list for ALL of my relationships. It's the foundation. Without it, there is nothing. I have to believe, that for every person (or two, three, or four), we've found that has no integrity, there's got to be one out there that does.
From everything I've been able to learn about you in the past three years, anyone would consider themselves lucky to have you as a friend. I hope to some day be in the position to travel around this United States, maybe even Canada too. I'd love to have the opportunity, and honor to meet some of the fine people who helped me so much along the way. I received answers, support, strength, courage, compassion, clarity, shoulders to cry on, and much laughter too. You personally, exemplified the strength and courage I speak of, even when you were not always "feelin' it". Many of your posts had me laughing out loud, 'til tears sprung from my eyes! I'm sure my mom thought I was nuts a few times, quietly sitting in front of my computer--and out of the blue I'd be LMAO!
Keep your chin up CJ. I just know there are more people like you out there, and you WILL meet them along the way as you go forward.
Laura