Hi Jacquelyn,
My dad has a trach with a vent attached to it. His breathing was a real problem, and we had to skip the whole Bipap process because his breathing was so bad. He went straight to the trach and vent and it was a real shock to our systems at first. It is good that your are getting somewhat prepared now, because we did not do that at all and it was like we were in a dream the first couple of months. Here is what you need to be prepared for if your dad does choose to go this route...
Your dad will probably be in the hospital for a little while so he can get used to the trach/vent. My dad was in for a month. While there, my dad also got a feeding tube, but that was a piece of cake compared to the trach/vent. While at the hospital, your family and/or whoever will be helping to care for him will be learning how to take care of the trach/vent. You will learn how to clean it and what to do if it ever becomes disconnected.
You will learn how to suction your dad. This is where a little tube is put down the trach down towards the lungs. Once the tube is in the right spot, you push a button and the tube suctions the gunk that is in the lungs. This is something that people with trachs need done because saliva and phlem seems to settle rather than being swallowed like you or I would do. While being suctioned, my dad coughs and strains, but then feels much better after it is done. The whole process lasts about 15-20 seconds.
The vent that my dad has is a portable one. It weighs about 17 pounds, so it is pretty light weight. We have 2 of them (one is a back up). They run off electricity and/or battery. We only use the battery if dad goes out and the battery last for 6-8 hours. Dad is still able to shower with help. There is a trach collar that we put around his neck, that way he is able to get wet. He can't take a bath or go swimming but he can shower.
I know once my dad got the trach/vent, he felt like he was breathing again because he finally was. He got color back in his face and he gained some weight from the feeding tube. Those were the good things. Some of the bad things are that dad can never be alone now, and he has pretty much lost all of his privacy. He is still able to walk, but we got him a wheelchair to connect all of the vent equipment to, and it gives him some independence when he is in it. He does not go out too often, but we are getting him out more and more. In fact, today for Father's Day, we are taking him to the horse races. He is still living his life. It is a different life, but we try to make it fun still.
I hope this answers some of your questions. Feel free to ask me anything because we have already been through it. I am not an expert in trach/vents, but I do know a lot about them now.
Dana