- Joined
- May 9, 2016
- Messages
- 1,529
- Reason
- Lost a loved one
- Diagnosis
- 06/2016
- Country
- US
- State
- MN
- City
- Minneapolis
Today, I am again confronted with the simple fact that I cannot believe that everything we have been to each other is coming to an end. Maybe it’s 8 months, maybe three years but we have already lost much and we will lose more and then I will lose him.
I think of the things I will do after that, how I will cope but I am struck almost daily with the Simone fact he will no longer be here.
I try- and often succeed in living in the moment. I try for myself as well as for him. Then it breaks through again and I am left thinking “Really?” After 18 months I still think that.
For some you did not even get 18 months, for others by 18 months you had/ have a loved one who is no longer walking/talking/eating.
My husband uses a walker and still does all of the above, mind you he will not go out to any social things now and does not drive. He lost some functionality two months ago with the Radicava/Appendicitis thing. So yes loss but I know we are blessed in what he can do.
I went from missing what we had to anticipatory grief for him and for more losses in functioning.
The time before seems like something I dreamed up, I don’t think of it much now.
Anyway, just venting. I will try to continue to appreciate what we do have and not dwell on the rest. What an insanely rotten dicease.
I think of the things I will do after that, how I will cope but I am struck almost daily with the Simone fact he will no longer be here.
I try- and often succeed in living in the moment. I try for myself as well as for him. Then it breaks through again and I am left thinking “Really?” After 18 months I still think that.
For some you did not even get 18 months, for others by 18 months you had/ have a loved one who is no longer walking/talking/eating.
My husband uses a walker and still does all of the above, mind you he will not go out to any social things now and does not drive. He lost some functionality two months ago with the Radicava/Appendicitis thing. So yes loss but I know we are blessed in what he can do.
I went from missing what we had to anticipatory grief for him and for more losses in functioning.
The time before seems like something I dreamed up, I don’t think of it much now.
Anyway, just venting. I will try to continue to appreciate what we do have and not dwell on the rest. What an insanely rotten dicease.