Tired of falling and dead arms

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notme

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Hey all

Decided to keep the rant in a rant. I'm tired of my body. Want a new one, NOW.

I'm trying to do a few things to get extra income. One of those things is helping other writers get their books ready.

Finally had someone that wanted a book formatted for e-book. I'm good at it--honest. It took me HOURS and HOURS because my hands just don't work right.

I am having a lot of problems with dropping things now--even my darn laptop. I've dropped it twice in a few days.

I'm falling -- a lot. I go to stand and the legs just don't support me. Go to lift something and it just slips from my hands.

My writing and the ability to write are the one thing that I've always had. I wrote the beginning of a new book the other day--2k words. It took me an entire evening to type those words. I used to be able to type almost as fast as I can think. 80wpm was a breeze. Now? 20wpm if I'm lucky.

On a good note, my book is starting to sell pretty well--my check in two months should be a couple hundred dollars. If it keeps up like that--I'll have the extra income I need.

We have to move the end of this month--and there is just no way I can help. I can't lift boxes--right now, I don't think I can even pack them. My hands and arms are useless. I have a nice rolling walker--great--but my hands don't work well enough for it to be real useful outsider of the house.

I can still use my scooter--but I sure can't load it in and out of the car. I'm really, really, tired of not being able to do things I should be able to do!

Rant over.
 

Al

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I can relate but you'll adapt. We strong willed always do. My pwc was a big bonus in raising my spirits.

AL.
 

HelenL

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Patty, can you get the dragontalk software? The site that sells the books sells it at a gold box price every now and the. I know what you mean about the typing, I used to type faster than a typewriter (electric) could, more than 80wpm, and now my pinkies are gone, and the rest are giving me problems. I can't load my scooter either, thank goodness for the complaining children I have. And friends who don't complain and come over and drag me out anyway.

Sending you a hug, as Al said, we'll all adapt, we just don't have to like it!
 

Alyoop

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Brilliant news about your book patty. Every bit helps.
Sorry about your frustrations. Where are you moving to?
 

notgivnup

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Stay strong Patty, where there is a will there is a way...my new motto! Sorry you are so frustrated with your body right now. We all can relate to it.
Hey I flunked highschool typing class (44 yrs ago) so I just hunt and peck to this day.
I am so Happy your book is doing so well for you Congratulations!
{{{HUGS}}}
 

BrianD

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If you can still speak fairly well, the Dragon software does work very well. I could dictate as fast or faster than I could type. There is also the free software called Dasher which does work well after you get used to it, but it won't be real fast... but quite a bit faster than pecking at a keyboard.
 

notme

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I put up a 3 day notice to pay what they owe or to move. Of course, they won't do either--but it's posted. They owe us $800.00. All their money is going for some new pain doctor she found at $400 a pop. *I* had to cancel my $40 appt due to no money to go--but they are spending $400 for a drug mill doctor to get the Roxicets they sell. No clue where their drug money is going. I've told the police they are dealing drugs--they don't care.

Now, apparently, she's pregnant--but she's told us this tree times before--so who knows.

My book is doing pretty well this month, too. I should get $250 or so in July, too--at this rate if it keeps up. New one going up in a few weeks if i can get it done.

Ah, slamming doors again--guess they found the eviction note. I know I'm perverse, but if I enjoyed taping it to their door. I can be such a witch.

I don't have my wheelchair anymore--lost it when I lost my school--but still need to sell the scooter if I have any hope of paying this $600 electric bill.

Have I mentioned that I hate my life this week?
 

Anja

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I relate to you, am writer too, and now... only 1 hand left, not the writing hand, grrrrrrrr it takes hours yeah and i have lack of energy 4 it... feel frustrated... i understand you completely! Wish i had new body 4 all of us... hugs and take care, i know the feeling bout writing... i want to blog etc and it is gone... shake hands... our good ones?
 

notme

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Anja, just replied to your thread--didn't see you'd replied here.

Things here aren't getting much better. Something is wrong with my hand. Not just the deadness it's had for ages. Now, it's swollen at the wrist and extremely painful. Had to spend yesterday with ice pack on it and not moving it at all. It feels like I broke it--but I haven't done anything but go with my daughter yesterday to apply for aid from the county (a wasted trip) We've been packing stuff up--I guess i overdid it--unless due to no muscle left I've somehow managed to give myself a stress fracture? No clue if that's possible.

I can't use my hand--haven't been able to for a while--but i use my arm bent to carry things--my elbow still works fine.

Anyone know if you can break something without hurting it? It's my wrist that is swollen.

Other hand started cramping--my daughter had to open it up and move the fingers--I couldn't--then the leg started cramping at the toes. Talk about upward pointing toes. The second and third were locked in a spasm and split apart. Cramps in arms and legs are getting much much worse and I have no clue why. Taking the baclofen. Not helping a lot, I guess. Out of valium--it's at the pharmacy--doctor wrote for it, but insurance won't pay for it.

I'm hoarding my pain pills again as I couldn't go to my appt. These copays are killing me.

The complex is giving me to the 1st to pay the electric--or they are going to shut it off. Legal aid told me they can't legally shut it of since I'm on oxygen--but they said they can and will if I can't pay them. -- and I can't. I applied for help via United Way 211 thing we have here--but I was told they are out of funds.

Nothing I can do if they won't pay what they owe. My daughter won't let me turn off the electric in their room--I really want to. They know what they owe--they took the notice from the complex off the door-- read it--then shoved it under my bedroom door. Mail addressed to me doesnt' phaze them. They simply open it.

I dont know what else to do. There is nothing left to try. I hit up every agency I could think of. One wants a utilitiy bill in my name--it's not in my name, it's in the name of the complex. Other wants a 3 day evicition notice for past due rent--our eviction notice is for past due electric.

Catch 22. We are debating whether we should just pack the car with what will fit and go--or make them evict us in the hope that we get the money to pay them before the official date. I just don't know. I can't help pack anything. I tried--and spent a day in bed recuperating. I'm worse than useless.

Even applied at a place online called modest needs, and they can't help because I don't' have enough time to get the $$ together. I spent half the day scanning stuff to upload to them, and got the "not enough time to help you" emial this morning.
 

notme

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Dont' know why it went to moderation.
 

Al

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You must be on the no fly list. lol

AL
 

Anja

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In theory it is possible to break something without knowing it :) Chances are rare! A X-ray is the answer! When my PT stretches my fingers it's like he breaks them ;) but in fact it is connective tissue that hurts!

i relate to the other issues, we should have someone who could help as our energy is not perfect!

Anja
 

notme

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hand is better today. The agony is gone at least. Very strange. I've never had it do that before. I really thought it was broken somehow. Wrist is only slightly swollen now.

Discovered I can't lift ymy laptop anymore. My daughter rigged it so it's on the bed with me. I can't lift my mug with my left hand (did I mention I'm a diet coke-aholic)

Still having the spasms and cramps in both hands and legs. I'm next to useless when I'm like this. Any exertion just makes me worse. Going to be another stay in bed day, I think.
 

Anja

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How are you doing? I'm worried about you!
 

notme

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Anja, I'm doing okay I think. Got my meds again--tired after the electric disaster and lungs are crap--but all in all, it could be a lot worse.

My leg spasms and hand cramps aren't getting much better, but I doubt they ever will. I think I just have to accept my new norm. Doc gave me a shot of something or another for inflammation--he said two meds, i don't remember what they were. A day later, i can't see that they did much--but then, I've been running around all over town trying to pay stuff.

Tomorrow, I'm not leaving the house! Haven't fallen since Sunday. I'm being extra careful. Using the walker inside now, which I hadn't been doing. I'm just not safe on two legs right now. I think a day of doing absolutely nothing that requires movement will help--sure can't hurt.

HOw are you doing?
 
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