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Nuts

Extremely helpful member
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Feb 23, 2014
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2,636
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Lost a loved one
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01/2014
Country
US
State
NC
City
Littleton
We've started our Spring travel. I have mixed emotions--excitement---fear---exhaustion (yes, it's an emotion too, as we all know)---happiness that he still wants to do something.

Yesterday we drove three hours to Hampton, VA. Our first stop was his friend's jewelry store where Matt picked up three pairs of earrings--one for each year that I've cared for him so far. He choked up when he said that, and he brought tears to my eyes. All three pairs are the same, but each has a different color of small diamonds in it.

From there, we went to the funeral home where another old friend of his works. He's starting to make the arrangements. He wants to be transported from NC to Virginia where he grew up, have one evening of showing at the funeral home, then be creamated. We picked out the casket and urn and discussed having his ribbons removed from his military uniform before the cremation. Wow. He's still torn on internment. Originally he wanted to be at Arlinginton, but now he's thinking about the local cemetery where his mom was buried when he was 14. He doesn't want to be alone. I told him I'd keep his ashes, but he wants me to move on. Oh my.

From there, we went straight to the hotel and he went straight to bed. He's still sleeping. Today is recovery, tomorrow our daughter graduates from Regents University, and Sunday the church youth choir that he sang is is having a reunion and he plans to sing with them. Dinner Saturday night with his friends at the hotel.

Heidi is with us. She's so good. I know she'd love to take a walk, but she won't leave dad this morning. That scares me. She is on the bed next to him right now. At 7:30 I offered her a walk--she wagged her tail, jumped up on me, and then walked over to the bed and sat down. She's watching over dad.

So, I make it downstairs just before breakfast ended and brought back two plates. I've eaten and his can go in the microwave when he finally wakes. We got a suite, so I'm comfortable while he sleeps.

We go home Sunday or Monday, and then leave next Friday for Wyoming and maybe California. Heidi will stay with friends during that very long trip--the travel days are too long and the effort to move him to all encompassing after a few days.

He still plans to go back to Colorado in September to hunt. He has a full quad shooting setup so he can sight with his chin and fire by sucking on a straw.

Oh, yes, our daughter---the one graduating --is traveling with us to Wyoming. No more trips like that on my own. We're still working out who will comes in September, but that's too far away for me to worry about it right now.

He's leaning against a vent, so I think he thinks he's making is farewell tour. Smiles everyone, we are going to wring every ounce of fun out of this year that we can.

Personally, I think he has a few years left.

Becky
 
I hope this trip is everything that Matt wants it to be. And I hope you find the strength, love and help to make it even more. You guys rock! And I'm so glad to hear that your daughter will be joining you on this great adventure!

My best, always...

Jim
 
I hope you take every opportunity to rest up in between so many wonderful activities :) How lovely that Heidi is with you both - I remember when you were getting her, it sure was one of the best decisions as she has brought so much joy!

I'm glad your daughter is coming on the big trip, it is wisdom to have someone with you. Aside from that, what a lovely time you will all have together as a family too!

Thanks for updating us, keep em coming!
 
Enjoy every day!!! I believe most of it is in our minds....mind over matter thing. Have fun and God bless you both and your daughter! Our son did that for us in January...a trip to CA...he came w/us and his wife graciously stayed home with the three children. It was wonderful not only to be in CA for the first time but to have time to spend w/our son and have him help my husband w/me. Memories I'll cherish :).
 
Oh wow! That's so awesome that he still wants to do things! And while all those mixed feelings might come along for the ride, I hope that you all will still have a great time creating beautiful memories ♡
-Erika
 
Becky,

In my book you belong to the caregivers hall of fame. Matt is so fortunate to have you.

I hope you make wonderful memories on your latest adventure.
 
Becky, take care of yourself while making wonderful memories. Brian wouldn't travel so you are lucky to have the memories.

Hugs,

Sue
 
Becky, You are an inspiration! I hope you and Matt have a wonderful time. The earrings are such a special gift - thanks for sharing. Have a safe trip.
 
We're home how, and what an incredible experience. The graduation when well, but it was early and outside, and the weather was brisk, so I know it drained Matt. We were able to see family we hadn't seen in awhile--always nice. Afterwards, lunch at Hot Dog King, a local icon and Matt's favorite even after all of these years.

By the time we got to the hotel, he was so tired he fell asleep almost before I got him onto the bed. I knew he wasn't getting back up to have dinner with the 8 friends he'd invited, but fortunately they came to the hotel resturant, so I went downstairs and ate with them. They understood as they have been following his progress on FB.

He slept 12 hours without waking and then got up for the church 75th reunion. This was the church he grew up in and sang in the choir in. When he rolled into the choir room (the "youth" choir from all years sang at the service), the room erupted in applause. There was no way to get him onto the stage with the choir, so before each song they all filed down onto the floor with him to sing. I was in tears. What a wonderful group of people!

After that, we headed home. we had the room another night, but figured it would take an entire additional day to get home by the time we got him up and moving, and I'm not really sure he's getting up today. Between all of the emotion, the weather, and singing, he's spent. His diaphram hurt last night, no doubt because of the the singing.

All in all, a great trip. Now to recover and head out again on Friday.
 
That is so great. Thanking you for sharing and for helping Matt make this happen.

You both are so brave and so strong
 
Becky how beautiful - that trip was so totally worth it!
Can you rest up a bit now before leaving again or are you going to be flat out prepping? Hopefully your daughter is there already to help get everything right to go?

What incredible memories for so many people!!
 
Kudos to you, Becky for taking on such a daunting schedule! Glad to hear everything went well!

We leave for our daughter's college graduation on Friday. 8 hour drive each way. Then all the festivities. Fingers crossed that it goes well.
 
Just wanted to say that you are amazing for making this all happen.

Hugs,
Joan
 
Well, this trip may be a lot more than I expected.

I forgot to mention that I tripped on the tiedowns in the van and fell on my knee on the tiedown hook. My knee is a mess.

My neighbor who I walk wth every morning is on vacation in Vegas. She just called to say she's had a stroke and can't walk. We may be picking her up and bringing her back with us. Once here, since she can't walk and lives alone in a place with steps, she and her hound, Snoopy, may need to stay here for awhile.

She's a retired nurse and has been offering to help me with Matt, but he's been hesitant to have a neighbor do personal care.

By the time this trip is over I think all shyness may be gone.

Now if I can just get back to sleep.

B
 
Wow! Life just keeps on giving doesn't it? I hope your knee gets better quick. Sorry to hear about your walking buddy. Ugh!
 
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