The purpose in life is not to win. Rabbi Kushner

[Tomswife]

Rabbi Harold Kushner, a practical public theologian whose best-selling books assured readers that bad things happen to good people because God is endowed with unlimited love and justice but exercises only finite power to prevent evil, died on April 27, 2023 in Canton, Mass. He was 88.

Below are some quotes by Rabbi Kushner.

God does not cause our misfortunes. Some are caused by bad luck, some are caused by bad people, and some are simply an inevitable consequence of our being human and being mortal. living in a world of inflexible natural laws. The painful things that happen to us are not punishments for our misbehavior, nor are they in any way part of some grand design on God's part. Because the tragedy is not God's will, we need not feel hurt or betrayed by God when tragedy strikes. We can turn to Him for help in overcoming it, precisely because we can tell ourselves that God is as outraged by it as we are.


People who pray for miracles usually don't get miracles. But people who pray for courage, for strength to bear the unbearable, for the grace to remember what they have left instead of what they have lost, very often find their prayers answered. Their prayers help them tap hidden reserves of faith and courage that were not available to them before.

Is there an answer to the question of why bad things happen to good people?...The response would be…to forgive the world for not being perfect, to forgive God for not making a better world, to reach out to the people around us, and to go on living despite it all…no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it has happened.

At some of the darkest moments in my life, some people I thought of as friends deserted me-some because they cared about me and it hurt them to see me in pain; others because I reminded them of their own vulnerability, and that was more than they could handle. But real friends overcame their discomfort and came to sit with me. If they had not words to make me feel better, they sat in silence (much better than saying, "You'll get over it," or "It's not so bad; others have it worse") and I loved them for it.

 

[wmilo]

I agree with Rabbi Kushner's points that how we respond to trials is most important, and that we do better to focus on what we have more than what we do not have. Some other things he says don't seem right:

The idea that we should, "forgive God for not making a better world". Aside from the audacity to think that we could forgive God for anything, God made a perfect world. Genesis 3 relates that it was mankind's sin which resulted in the imperfect world . Paul describes this in Romans 8:20, saying, "For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God."

The idea that misfortunes "[are not] in any way part of some grand design on God's part." In the account of the healing of the man born blind from birth in John 9:3, on being asked why it was so, Jesus does not say, "I don't know; it sure is a tough break. But God is outraged about it." Instead, he reveals that "Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him." In verses 30-33, the formerly blind man explains this to the Pharisees, "The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.” Paul explains that this also applies to us in Romans 5:3-4, "we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

This is not to suggest some simple or formulaic answer to the question of why we suffer, but I have trouble conceiving of a God who is taken by surprise by our suffering, and is then outraged by it. I have not enjoyed my journey with ALS but I recognize that the experience has allowed me to grow in gratitude and in my relationships with others and with God in ways that I might not have otherwise. I am not wise enough to choose the form of refining fire, or the cause of my passing, which God has planned for me, so I choose to leave it in his hands and not to attribute it to the fickle finger of fate.

 

[Tomswife]

Wmilo. You have testified as a disciple of Jesus Christ, as you always do.
I had the same reaction to the concept of forgiving God. My reaction was at first - heretical.
I know many people who are estranged from God. They are angry with God for things that have happened in their life.
I have to think that our language around forgiveness is lacking. And in my RC faith the word "forgive " would be changed to reconcile. Reconcile yourself to the Lord, for God is merciful. Turn back to God. Repent.

The Psalmist writes in Psalm 103:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits;
He pardons all your iniquities,
he heals all your ills.
He redeems your life from destruction,
he crowns you with kindness and compassion

I do have respect for the wisdom of Rabbi Kushner in his writings and his efforts to help people understand complex life events that are very difficult. But I do interpret his writings through my RC faith.

 

[wmilo]

Thank you, Tomswife, for your gracious reply. I like your suggestion of the word reconcile.

I am saddened when events cause people to become angry with God and to become estranged from him. And I am grateful that I have not had to endure that pain. My hope would be that people tell God that they are angry with him. He can take it. The important thing is that they are talking to him.

Yes, complex life events can be very difficult. That's partly why it's so important that we help each other.