I’m probably bonkers, but I got a recruitment from
another company this week and I went ahead and sent my resume.
In the end, they may not be interested in me and I will likely not be in them, but what can it hurt to check it out?
You don’t want to be all too emotional about business, but that whole think that happened when my current boss started in his role freaked me out, for just one thing. To this day he cannot see the difference between taking care of his kids and taking care of your terminally ill spouse in your living room.
That’s not all. I feel like I’ll never shine where I am now, and that nothing I do will ever make my work great. It’s not actual performance, it’s who is liked and who is not and who is tolerated because they get stuff done. I feel tolerated because I get stuff done.
This pre-dates my current boss and Brian’s diagnosis. In fact, right when we heard the EMG was bad, I was in the middle of sending my resume elsewhere. It then became abundantly clear I was in no position to change companies.
I think one consistent grate and grind is the organizational tendency to micromanagement. We talk a good game on included people in the decision processes, but that isn’t what goes on. Collectively we have around 75 years of collective experience in my team, yet somehow small pieces of autonomous decision making are always drifting away from us. I supervise 8 managers and have 20 years of experience in my field, I bring so much in skills and experience but I don’t feel that I - or frankly any of us are actually respected for that knowledge.
I have some great coworkers for sure, and there are definitely things I’d miss about my organization but it may be time to pick up where I left off in 2016 and spread my wings.
Other stuff I was going to do in 2016 before the big Dx: I was getting in shape and that all fell apart. I have that back now too. I was going to buy a car in December of ‘17 and give Brian this one just for short runs when he didn’t want to use the truck.
I’m looking forward to buying a new car after this house thing is settled. My current car lacks some of the tech features I want, is getting ugly and now is officially the Car Brian Is Not Driving. In addition to being beat up and ugly, it’s a symbol of life lost.
For some strange reason, my house is not. Not now, anyway.
The last thing we were about to do before the Dx was I was so happy to see warmer weather coming I said I’d run an open grill every Friday night and BYOB for friends. Naturally, that went by the wayside. Not likely to do that this year, but who knows what the future holds.
I booked my trip to see my brother in November. Beach cottage, flight there is direct comfort class and flight back is multiple transfers but first class! Second time only in first class! Hurray! Brian would flip, even though I hit a great deal.
Anyway, I know a lot of people would say I am too soon a widow to be changing jobs, and it’s far, far from
A done deal. I will think hard and be careful if the opportunity is really presented.