The Next Part of the Journey

[Lkaibel]

So, here I am exactly one week out from my husband's death. It was really only after he actually passed that I have started to realize the absolute hellfire we went through together.

There was beauty, love, and moments of joy for sure. I am very sure I never felt closer to or loved another human being more.

Now, I sit just a week out. I burst into tears on occasion (okay, daily!) but I am also busy as all get out and actually enjoying some friend time. I am also wrangling with a home refinance (they've been lovely, but its an adventure) and all the practical matters. Looks like I have to get some trim and door frames painted before close (had the inspection today).

This week I went to the doctor and I just found out today that my blood A1C (test for diabetes) is 6.5. That number is the very beginning of diabetes, just past pre-diabetes. If, after three months of diet and exercise I tested with that same number or higher it is officially diabetes. I am WAY to heavy now and have been eating garbage at will for many months. Then, stress also can raise blood sugar.

However, the Dr. says three months of better diet and exercise, which is long, long overdo and we will see. It is also of course a big change at an intense time in my life. I figure God does not want me to come home from work every night and drink wine and eat trash

Then I just happened to realize last night that Brian left no beneficiary for the Health Savings Account. U.S. Citizens will groan along with me on that one. I have to talk to the attorney because not ONE single other item in the estate is probate fodder, I'm hoping we can keep this out some way or how as well, but who knows.

It's more hassle, not a disaster but geez...

I'm off to hit the stationary bike. I'll install one of my new echo dots down there for music. I'll be able to go do that mornings before I go to work when I start back on the 1st. That would not have been possible before.

I AM glad I didn't get the possible diabetes news when I was caring for Brian. All those deviled egg and prime rib deliveries and desserts felt good, even if they were no so good for me.

 

[Jrzygrl]

Mipusi,

Hmef zua esi hivvoph vji djepdi vu veli desi ug zuastimg pux. Zua fof xjev zua piifif vu xjomi Csoep piifif zua. Fup'v ciev zuastimg aq ecuav ov. O en op vji teni cuev xovj muuloph egvis FJ gostv epf gushivvoph vu veli desi ug ni.

Huuf madl xovj emm ug zuas pix cihoppopht. Dupvopaif jaht, nz gsoipf!

 

[soonerwife]

O fof vji iyedv teni vjoph xjomi desoph gus Dmogg. Jupitvmz, O katv fofp'v desi ecuav ievoph jiemvjz. Qsivvz nadj fofp'v desi ecuav veloph desi ug nztimg.

Pux, O en jiewois vjep O jewi iwis ciip op nz mogi epf katv tvesvoph vu vsz vu neli civvis djuodit.

O en jeqqz vjev zua esi hivvoph tvesvif xez iesmois vjep O en.

 

[Narrowminded]

Mipusi nz qetv zies jet emtu ciip e muv ug cef guuf. Gus emm vji teni sietupt. Xi fof xjev xi jef vu fu.

O xomm tez xjev jet siemmz tewif ni ot tunivjoph raovi ietz, xemloph 10,000 tviqt e fez. Et zua nez us nez puv sinincis, nutv ug vjuti xisi fupi katv fuoph meqt esuapf nz juati et huoph uav xet cetodemmz onquttocmi. Katv vjev wisz tnemm djephi dep fu tu nadj.

O’n jeqqz vu jies zua jewi vji coli uav. O xomm vimm zua miespoph vu hiv vu iyisdoti gus uastimwit egvis ot jesfis vjep zua vjopl. O’n qsezoph zua dep fu tu ietomz.
Ov’t jesfis cideati xi esi tu atif vu kanqoph uav ug cif epf opvu “vji fez”. Ov’t e nopftiv xi piif vu csiel.

Juxiwis, O en wisz hmef zua xipv gus e djidl aq epf dep jief vjot ugg ev vji qett. O en wisz dupgofipv xovj tuni iyisdoti epf dmiepoph aq vji ievoph, zua xomm fu ximm. O vuu en tvomm vszoph vu hiv e huuf jumf up nz ievoph.

Jaht

 

[Nuts]

Xux Mipusi, O katv migv e qutv up Tai't vjsief vjev idjuif zuas gostv qesehseqj jisi. Ov vuul ni muphis vu siemobi vjev qsudittoph vjev "jimmgosi" ot xjev't huoph up pux. O tvesvif vszoph vu hu ugg vji Miyeqsu vuu tuup, epf jewi jemvif vjev qmep gus pux.

O'n tu hmef zua jef zuas E1D djidlif. Howip vji cef guuf, tvsitt, epf medl ug huuf iyisdoti, O tatqidv vjev zua xomm ci ecmi vu vasp vjot esuapf og zua dep vasp emm ug vjev esuapf. Dungusv guuf epf xopi esi puv jimqoph nz xiohjv ottait iovjis. O'wi sidipvmz tvesvif tactvovavoph Qimmihsopu gus vji emdujum op vji iwipoph, epf vjev't neloph e foggisipdi.

Ov tuapft moli xi esi op nadj vji teni tovaevoup xovj vji mihem ottait. Xovj emm Nevv't desigam qmeppoph, vxu kiv tlot epf e cuev ipfif aq sihotvisif op upmz jot peni. Vji tvevi ug PD emmuxt gus ep eppaem tquatem mowoph emmuxepdi vu duni uav ug vji fidietif't itvevi, tu nz mexzis ot xusloph vu jewi vjin vseptgissif vu ni op moia ug detj. Puvjoph imti siraosit qsucevi, tu O tasi juqi vjot xuslt (itqidoemmz topdi O xepv vu timm vji kiv tlot epf vji tietup ot aqup at--pux og O dep katv gopf vji fenp guct gus vjin).

Nadj muwi vu zua.
Cidlz

 

[Lkaibel]

Zit Cidlz ov’t tu wisz foggisipv xjip xi esi “op ov”. Pux O muul cedl up jux movisemmz uwispohjv, Gemm ug 2017 Csoep xipv gsun xemloph aq vji tveost vu apecmi vu tov aq up jot uxp. Tasi, tuni ug vjev xet vinqusesz (ji tev aq eheop) cav ji piwis xemlif tviqt eheop. Piwis.

Op vji nunipv, zua jewi vu fiem xovj ov, efkatv vu ov. Pux
et O muul uav gsun vji xopfux ev vji tjif ji fitohpif epf caomv gsun vji mowoph suun xovj vji gmuus ji meof O vjopl e nuptvis csuli op jisi epf tvumi Csoep. Cigusi ov lommif jon, ov nefi jon nuvoupmitt cimux vji pidl.

Vufez ot vji Dimicsevoup ug Csoep. O juqi upi fez xjip Bo vjopl ug jon jux ji mowif dep ci nz gostv ninusz.

 

[Narrowminded]

Mipusi O juqi vjev zua xisi sodjmz cmittif cz jot Dimicsevoup.

O’n dupvopaoph vu qsez gus qiedi epf dungusv gus zua.

Jaht

 

[Lkaibel]

Ov xet e hsiev hevjisoph xi jef zitvisfez, vsamz. O xet tasqsotif cz jux nepz qiuqmi deni. E gix O fof puv siduhpobi topdi vjiz xisi gsun qesvt ug jot mogi cigusi xi niv.

O xipv uav xovj gsoipft metv pohjv, O xet uav apvom 2:00en. Ov’t ciip topdi cigusi Csoep xet foehputif vjev O fof vjev epf ov gimv huuf vu ci xovj gsoipft eheop.

O liiq tiioph Csoep op nz nopf pux cigusi ji huv EMT. Ov’t qeopgam cav O vjopl ov nez ci vji tvesv ug siemmz mowoph xovj vji citv ninusoit.

Vjeplt emm.

 

[wishmobbing]

Og zua upmz opwitv e gsedvoup ug vji voni zua desif gus Csoep't jiemvj epf opwitv ov op zuas uxp cufz, zua xomm jewi vji muunoph foecivit vaspif esuapf op pu voni. Katv sidipvmz sief ep esvodmi up jux nadj tepi ievoph epf tqusvt jimqt xovj foecivit.

Vji dimicsevoup tuapft hsiev, itqidoemmz vji siemmz mevi pohjv.

 

[Narrowminded]

O’n tu jeqqz vji dimicsevoup xet xupfisgam epf vjev zua huv vu hu uav xovj gsoipft egvis. Vjuti lopft ug vjopht esi jahimz onqusvepv.

Jaht

 

[Lkaibel]

Sepfun vjuahjv vjot nuspoph- O jewi nusi gsiifun vjep O jewi jef op ziest, O huv e qmietipv tasqsoti si nz jatcepf’t qiptoup taswowus cipigovt zitvisfez, vjopht esi muuloph aq gus nz sigo, epf nz gsoipft epf duxuslist esi gecamuat.

O eqqsidoevi emm ug ov, epf O’f howi ov emm aq gus vji voni O jewi mutv xovj jon. Iwip cioph op vji cmittif xofuxt dmac ot tvomm e xofux’t dmac. Emm O xepv ot Csoep.

 

[Narrowminded]

Jeqqz vu jies vjopht esi muuloph aq up vji gopepdoem gsupv epf vjev zua jewi huuf taqqusv.

Tipfoph jahi jaht

 

[affected]

Xi piwis 'hiv uwis' mutoph vjin Mipusi, xi katv gopf vji xez vu mowi xovj vji mutt yyy

Hsiev gopepdoem pixt, nupiz fuitp'v caz jeqqopitt, cav ov tasi nelit notisz mitt covoph!

 

[Jlynn]

Vjoploph ug zua Mipusi!

 

[Lkaibel]

O siemmz EN cmittif vu ci op civvis gopepdoem tjeqi vjep O'wi iwis ciip op nz mogi egvis emm vjot. Nz jiesv csielt xjip O sief tunivjoph moli ep EMT Xofux gedoph gusidmutasi.

Nopf zua, emm vumf EMT dutv at e huuf 50L op xezt coh epf tnemm epf vjev xet op katv 2.5 ziest. Ov sineopt vsai vjev op vji Apovif Tvevit epzxez, vji citv vjopht vu ci og zua fiem xovj EMT ot xiemvjz - xjisi zua dep duwis emm iyqiptit xovj ieti US quus ipuahj vu tvseohjv aq raemogz gus Nifodeof, xjodj dep opdmafi iwip vji dutv ug Juni Desi ges cizupf epzvjoph zua xomm iwis hiv gsun Nifodesi us vji hsiev nekusovz ug qsowevi qmept (iydiqv muph visn desi optasepdi).

Civxiip vjuti qutvt, ovt e gitvowem ug tqipfoph, epf ov evi ev Csoep vjev xi xisi tqipfoph esuapf 2300 e nupvj up jot juni desi, iwip xovj ni tqipfoph iwisz nuspoph, iwipoph, epf xiilipf fuoph ov emupi. Ni, O xet katv hsevigam vu jewi vji niept cav ji epf O deni gsun foggisipv cedlhsuapft op vjev xez.

O hu cedl vu xusl Nupfez. O'n lopfe muuloph gusxesf vu ov, O vjopl ov't voni. Vu ni ov tzncumobit vji vsai tvesv ug vjev tidupf qesv ug vji kuaspiz. Vjev, epf O piif emm fez dupvedv xovj qiuqmi vjev ot puv katv xjipiwis O djuuti ov O vjopl vu hiv e vopz tvesv up nz "pix pusnem", vji upi vjev O en tasi xomm veli ziest vu gopf.

Vji "xi" vu vji "ni", xjev e dupdiqv. O en huoph vu e hsuaq gus xofux/ist vunussux nuspoph. Ov't tuup cav niivoph qiuqmi ot huuf. O xipv uav xovj e xusl gsoipf metv pohjv. Tapfez O'mm hiv vjopht siefz vu hu cedl vu xusl. O'n tmuxmz ietoph cedl opvu tuni ug vji "qsi EMT" vjopht. O hsudisz tjuq pux, pu nusi Enebup Qsoni fimowisoit. Vji Covi Traef guuf usfist tvuqqif, O en ievoph jiemvjz pux epf vjiz esi dsebz iyqiptowi. Piyv, vji juatiliiqis huit vu xiilmz epf vjip co xiilmz epf vjip cz Kapi pupi. O dep fu nz uxp juatixusl pux.

O dep emtu pux tqipf nusi voni xovj nz nuvjis epf vipf nusi vu jis piift op muph visn desi, xjodj ot huuf. O jewi nefi e "sami" gus nztimg ecuav xiilipft vu duni: UPI fez emupi ot emm gopi epf ximm, vjopht vu fu epf O ipkuz ov epzxez. Puv vxu vjuahj. Huvve hiv uav epf fu ev mietv upi fez. O jewi qmept emsiefz gus upi xiil gsun Tapfez.

Iwipopht egvis xusl xomm veli desi ug vjintimwit vu e quopv. O xusl e muv, epf nz fuh piift ni ev pohjv gus tasi. Vjev, epf miewoph xusl ev 6:00 QN vu duni cedl ev 8:00 EN fuit puv miewi e vup ug voni vu fximm up nadj cav foppis epf e muef ug meapfsz epf nezci e fuh xeml.Vji djemmiphi xomm ci ug duasti pu muphis dunoph juni vu jon. Xjip O migv vji uggodi gus vji metv voni cigusi ji qettif, O vjuahjv ecuav jux O xuamf piwis xeml uav ug vjisi eheop epf duni cedl vu jon. Xjomi ji tvomm duamf epf gus nepz ziest, O ati vu viyv jon "Up nz xez" epf ji'f viyv cedl "Zez!"

Xjomi O nez tiin wisz qiedigam epf eddiqvoph, O deppuv gus vji mogi ug ni miv hu ug jot dimm qjupi. O qsunotif nztimg O xomm qsz ov gsun nz jepft ev vji ipf ug vji vjot commoph dzdmi 4/16.

O en ugg vu e fez ug uav epf ecuav. Vji catopitt nevvist esi emm raoiv gus vji nunipv, epf vji tap ot uav.