Thomas933
Active member
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2018
- Messages
- 91
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 12/2018
- Country
- Uni
- State
- RI
- City
- Providence
Hello Everyone: This is how I basically handle most crisis in my life:
How not to say the wrong thing - latimes The gist is, draw a small circle and write the person at the center of the current crisis in the center ring, then draw another ring and write the names of the people most affected in this ring...keep going until you have each layer of people. Close family closer to the center, casual friends towards the outside. This is the rule: you can complain, rant, vent, cry and wail all you want...but only to people in an outer ring . If someone is in a smaller ring, you can only support. Support in, dump out. It's a great thing to share with people, too.
I am struggling sometimes with this one. My husband was diagnosed in early Dec. and we are doing okay. We are managing it all as well as can be expected in my opinion. But, I am so sad for him and it breaks my heart to see him suffer. He is trying to be brave and keep it all together. It guts me to see him struggle. All is want to do is take his mental and emotional pain away. But, I cannot justify "dumping" my sadness on him. So, I suppose what I feel is lonely.
I am lonely in it even though I have wonderful friends who would listen for hours to me cry and wail. But, I feel like he is the only person who can understand the depth of my fear and grief at all of this. But, I'm not going to put it on him...he is dealing with enough.
So, this is a dump, I guess and a question: How do you guys deal with the loneliness of this?
How not to say the wrong thing - latimes The gist is, draw a small circle and write the person at the center of the current crisis in the center ring, then draw another ring and write the names of the people most affected in this ring...keep going until you have each layer of people. Close family closer to the center, casual friends towards the outside. This is the rule: you can complain, rant, vent, cry and wail all you want...but only to people in an outer ring . If someone is in a smaller ring, you can only support. Support in, dump out. It's a great thing to share with people, too.
I am struggling sometimes with this one. My husband was diagnosed in early Dec. and we are doing okay. We are managing it all as well as can be expected in my opinion. But, I am so sad for him and it breaks my heart to see him suffer. He is trying to be brave and keep it all together. It guts me to see him struggle. All is want to do is take his mental and emotional pain away. But, I cannot justify "dumping" my sadness on him. So, I suppose what I feel is lonely.
I am lonely in it even though I have wonderful friends who would listen for hours to me cry and wail. But, I feel like he is the only person who can understand the depth of my fear and grief at all of this. But, I'm not going to put it on him...he is dealing with enough.
So, this is a dump, I guess and a question: How do you guys deal with the loneliness of this?