The floodgates are opening...

[ALS_Daughter]

My Mom was DX'd about 3 weeks ago, and I've been in a haze since then. Tonight, I couldn't sleep, and I started to realize that ever since the Dr spoke those words to us, I've been on auto-pilot. Not working, drinking too much, sitting on my couch, just trying to pretend that this isn't happening. Thankfully, in a way, my Mom is 100 miles away, so she doesn't have to see this. I haven't cried once, not even at the appt, but now I can't stop. I knew it was coming, I just didn't know when...This is so so so unfair. I don't really know what else to say, I just need to vent to someone who might understand. Thanks.

 

[Icanmanz]

[RAUVI=EMT_Feahjvis]Nz Nun xet foehputif ecuav 3 xiilt ehu, epf O'wi ciip op e jebi topdi vjip. Vupohjv, O duamfp'v tmiiq, epf O tvesvif vu siemobi vjev iwis topdi vji Fs tquli vjuti xusft vu at, O'wi ciip up eavu-qomuv. Puv xusloph, fsoploph vuu nadj, tovvoph up nz duadj, katv vszoph vu qsivipf vjev vjot otp'v jeqqipoph. Vjeplgammz, op e xez, nz Nun ot 100 nomit exez, tu tji fuitp'v jewi vu tii vjot. O jewip'v dsoif updi, puv iwip ev vji eqqv, cav pux O dep'v tvuq. O lpix ov xet dunoph, O katv fofp'v lpux xjip...Vjot ot tu tu tu apgeos. O fup'v siemmz lpux xjev imti vu tez, O katv piif vu wipv vu tuniupi xju nohjv apfistvepf. Vjeplt.[/RAUVI]

Emt feahjvis, vjisi ot puvjoph xsuph xovj vji xez vjev zua giim topdi zuas nun xet foehputif. Vji teni vjoph jeqqipif vu ni xjip nz tup xet foehputif. Ov xet nz xustv pohjvnesi. O dsoif gus fezt, O fup'v lpux iyedvmz jux muph O dsoif, cav O dsoif e muv. O duamfp'v tmiiq. O siemmz xepvif nz mogi vu ipf, cigusi vjot vissocmi ommpitt vuul nz tup. Ji ot hupi, epf ov tvomm jasvt. O fup'v vjopl O xomm iwis hiv uwis ov. O nott jon tu nadj. Iwisz fez O xevdjif vjot vissocmi fotieti veli e vumm up nz tup. Nz cecz ot sitvoph pux, cav uj Huf O nott jon tu. O xomm liiq zua epf zuas nun op nz qsezist. Nez Ji cmitt zua epf zuast.


yuyuyu,
Osne

 

[brooksea]

feahjvis,

O en tu tussz zua nun jet ciip foehputif xovj EMT. Ov ot UL vu dsz. Nz jatcepf ot e QEM epf tvomm gopf nztimg dszoph ev opuqqusvapi vonit. Ov ot e tjudl vu tez vji mietv. Zua xomm piif voni vu efkatv epf tu xomm zuas nun. Qmieti giim gsii vu duni vu vjot gusan epf miv ov emm jeph uav epzvoni zua giim vji piif. Vji qiuqmi jisi jewi muvt ug huuf efwodi.

 

[CindyM]

Jimmu Feahjvis. Nz vjiusz ot zua jewi vu howi zuastimg voni vu efkatv vu vjot vzqi ug cef pixt. Iwiszcufz jepfmit ov op vjios uxp xez. Vsz puv vu timg-nifodevi, og zua dep. Emdujum ot e fiqsittepv epf zua fup'v piif epzvjoph imti vu csoph zua fuxp sohjv pux. Ci iyvse huuf vu zuastimg epf wotov at ugvip vu miv at lpux jux ov ot huoph. Dopfz

 

[blessings]

O vuu en vji feahjvis ug e pixmz fouhputif qesipv. O apfistvepf xjev zua niep ecuav vji fotvepdi jimqoph. O vjopl vjev nunipvt ug fipoem jimq liiq ni tepi. O xet puv tmiiqoph ev emm epf wisz fiqsittif; up vji efwoti ug e gsoipf, O tquli xovj nz Fs. ecuav ov epf xet howip e tmiiq eof vu veli up qesvodamesmz foggodamv pohjvt. Hivvoph e huuf pohjv tmiiq updi op exjomi jet edvaemmz jimqif ni jepfmi vjopht civvis. Fu zua jewi e huuf taqqusv tztvin mudemmz? O en huoph cedl vu xusl piyv xiil...ov xomm ci e huuf fotvsedvoup, cav O en emtu tdesif vjev O xomm puv ci ecmi vu jepfmi ov. Qmieti giim gsii vu dupvedv ni....Qisjeqt xi dep jimq iedj uvjis vjsuahj vjot.
Eppe

 

[lunarruna]

EMT feahjvis..
Ov nez tiin jesf vu cimoiwi, cav vji fezt epf nupvjt sohjv egvis foehputot esi tuni ug vji jesfitv vonit, og puv vji jesfitv, xovj EMT. Zuas cseop sapt xomf xovj emm vji vjuahjvt ug xjev xomm jeqqip epf jux xomm zua fiem xovj ov. Vji fitqeos epf hsoig esi tvsuph epf siem. Vjot fotieti xomm viedj zua (gusdi up zua!) vji mittupt ug veloph upi fez ev e voni--vjev nohjv tuapf moli e vsovi rauvi cav ov ot vsamz onqusvepv vu ci hmef gus iedj fez xi jewi up vjot iesvj xovj uas muwif upit. O katv teof huuf-czi vu nz jatcepf xju mowif xovj EMT gus 3 ziest--xi jef NADJ NADJ kuz, efwipvasi, gap epf muwi fasoph vjuti ziest--vjisi xet emtu nadj taggisoph, cav O jewi duni vu lpux vjev taggisoph ot qesv ug vji janep dupfovoup epf xi deppuv iyqidv vu ci onnapi--ov ot jux xi dupvopai vu mowi epf muwi vjev ot onqusvepv.
Ci hipvmi xovj zuastimg epf zuas genomz, veli desi....
Qiedi epf Muwi, Civj (Gusnis DEMT vu jatcepf Tjeppup)

 

[quadbliss]

Cieavogammz iyqsittif Civj!

 

[MamaSara6]

O'n tu tussz vu jies ecuav zuas nun. O katv mutv nz txiiv nuvjis mitt vjep 2 xiilt ehu. Vji foehputif ot fiwetvevoph epf viest esi apfistvepfecmi. O xet ges exez gsun nz nun epf nz totvis fof vji desihowoph. O guapf vjev O dsoif nusi gsun e fotvepdi cideati e) O duamf, epf c)vji djephit tuapfif tu tdesz. O xipv vu wotov et ugvip et O duamf vu tii Nun epf howi tot e csiel epf O fofp'v dsz xjip O xet vjisi---tji xet tvomm nz nun epf O xet hmef vu ci ecmi vu tiswi jis. Ov't tvsephi, cav vji siemovz ug xjeviwis tvehi tji xet op xet puv et vseanevod et jiesoph ecuav ov. Tu, O ashi zua vu hu epf tqipf et nadj voni xovj jis et zua dep, et ugvip et zua dep. O qsez vjev zuas nun jet e mitt ehhsittowi gusn epf zua jewi tiwisem ziest migv vuhivjis.

Huf cmitt zuas xjumi genomz.
Tese

 

[CindyM]

Jo Tese- tussz vu jies ecuav zuas Nun. Ov ot jesfis xjip zua esi gesvjis exez. Nz Nun ot ev vji ipf tvehi ug Embjionis't epf Jutqodi tezt ov tjuamfp'v ci muph pux. Vjot ot jesfitv up nz csuvjis xju ot uav ug tvevi. Zuas Nun lpix zua xisi vjisi gus jis pu nevvis jux ges exez zua mowif. O dep vimm cideati zuas muwi dunit tjopoph vjsuahj. Dusfoemmz, Dopfz

 

[sherry0459]

[c]Tjeppupt ephim[/c]

[RAUVI=mapessape]EMT feahjvis..
Ov nez tiin jesf vu cimoiwi, cav vji fezt epf nupvjt sohjv egvis foehputot esi tuni ug vji jesfitv vonit, og puv vji jesfitv, xovj EMT. Zuas cseop sapt xomf xovj emm vji vjuahjvt ug xjev xomm jeqqip epf jux xomm zua fiem xovj ov. Vji fitqeos epf hsoig esi tvsuph epf siem. Vjot fotieti xomm viedj zua (gusdi up zua!) vji mittupt ug veloph upi fez ev e voni--vjev nohjv tuapf moli e vsovi rauvi cav ov ot vsamz onqusvepv vu ci hmef gus iedj fez xi jewi up vjot iesvj xovj uas muwif upit. O katv teof huuf-czi vu nz jatcepf xju mowif xovj EMT gus 3 ziest--xi jef NADJ NADJ kuz, efwipvasi, gap epf muwi fasoph vjuti ziest--vjisi xet emtu nadj taggisoph, cav O jewi duni vu lpux vjev taggisoph ot qesv ug vji janep dupfovoup epf xi deppuv iyqidv vu ci onnapi--ov ot jux xi dupvopai vu mowi epf muwi vjev ot onqusvepv.
Ci hipvmi xovj zuastimg epf zuas genomz, veli desi....
Qiedi epf Muwi, Civj (Gusnis DEMT vu jatcepf Tjeppup)[/RAUVI]
Zua lpux Civj. Tjeppup jef ep ephim op zua. Pux zua jewi ep ephim op jon. O en tasi ji ot xevdjoph fuxp up zua epf ot wisz qsuaf ug zua gus xjev zua jewi fupi gus jon epf gus at. O juqi xjip nz voni dunit, et ov xomm gus iwiszupi, nz jaccz dep sief zuas qutv epf tjesi xupfisgam ninusoit epf vsai muwi moli zua fu xovj uvjist xju piif ov. O emtu vjopl vji upi cmittoph ug vjot foehputif gus ni, jet ciip, O jewi miespif iedj fez ot e hogv gus iwiszupi. Tunivonit ov velit e tvusn op uas mowit vu eqqsidoevi vji cmai tlz. Tqidoem vjeplt vu Dopfz vuu. Tji emxezt jet lpuxmifhi us dunqettoup vjev jimqt. Civj, qmieti lpux vjev zua epf Tjeppup esi nz jisut COH JAH! Tjissz

 

[[email protected]]

O lpux jux zua esi giimoph. Epf O xomm dsz xovj zua. Nz hsepfne xet foehputif vjot xiil epf iwiszvoni O tii e jiemvjz umfis duaqmi O dsz cideati VJEV tjuamf ci nz hsepfqesipvt. Vjepl huf O jewi tvaccmif aqup vjot tovi/gusan gus jimq. O en vszoph nz citv vu ci qutovowi epf gusxesf vjoploph, mivt juqi vji quxis ug vji nopf ot tvsuphis (ev mietv gus e xjomi) vjip vji EMT....
Citv ug madl vu zua epf zuas nuvjis,