The father of a friend of mine has ALS

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f11

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He's had it for I believe 4 months now. I have no idea how to approach my friend. I have absolutly no idea the feelings he is going through and cannot relate to him at all. I feel horrible and terrible but am scared to approach him about it. What do I say? I just want to hug him and say everthing I'll be there for you but I'm afraid he'll get mad I bring it up...or upset it took this long. I hope I didn't piss anyone on this forum with this post, but if I did the intention wasn't that.

God Bless you all and if you can, tell me your thoughts.
 

john McCarron

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Hi
I am going on holiday to day to date with the kid’s and my wife and I read your post. My son’s is a big lad just like his father used to be so he can handle my wheelchair without any problems. We are currently watching the cricket and England have at long last a chance to win (if they don’t blow it at the last couple of wickets). We have to my wife’s disgust a couple of tinnies of beer and we are enjoying the match. What the point, well things are not normal. But it nice to have a little bit of normality in my life, so go see your friend and stop with the guilt, there is no need between old friends
 

TBear

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... have a great time on holiday John!
I agree that life for your friend should be as normal as possible... of course the circumstances aren't normal. If he's been a friend for a long time, he will probably be happy for the continuity as a contrast to the radical change his body is going through.
Good luck.

CHeers

T
 

Al

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Hi there. If you go back and read your post slowly you have answered your own question. Go to your friend and tell him that you have had no idea what to say. You have no idea what he is going through and are there for him. Give him a hug if that is the kind of friendship you have. He'll understand and I'm sure he knows why you haven't been around.
He may be feeling abandoned and I'm sure he will welcome the support.
 

Carol Deboer

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Hi there,

I agree with Al. Sometimes, no words are needed. And in this case a hug is worth a thousand words. Just do the things that you use to do together. Watch sports on tv, or have a beer together. Go for a walk. Just being there will be enough. I know that some people do not want to look adversity in the face, it scares them. And that is normal. However, please do not allow yourself to have any regrets. That sometimes is worse. A couple of my husbands friends have a lot of regrets for not coming around more, and I cannot live their guilt for them. I understood their reasons, although they ultimately are the ones that have to suffer now. Do not allow that to happen. You will find how to relate to him, and you will be happy that you did.

Carol
 

Al

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Rather fittingly to your situation a friend sent me a poem today.
Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish
game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on
Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,
And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,

"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died
today."

And that's what we get and deserve in the end.
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

Remember to always say what you mean.

If you love someone, tell them.

Don't be afraid to express yourself.

Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you.

Because when you decide that it is the right time
it might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets.

And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.
 

Granny

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Thanks for the poem, Al. I heard it before a long time ago, but it sure is meaningful now. If any of you have friends or family with ALS, reach out to them. We sometimes just need "some one to lean on". You don't have to say a lot, just be there for the person. A hug means so much to me, as I am sure it does to others.
 

f11

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Thank you very much for the reply's

I will go out of my way to make these next few months easier for him.

Thank you all again.
 
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