Terrible Work Experience

[madducky9]

My mother has ALS. Has been diagnosed for about a year now, although she was diagnosed late because she had fallen and injured herself and was waiting for almost a year a hip transplant. Looking back she has had ALS for several years as she was falling often and was unable to climb two flights of stairs 2 years ago,

Anyway, I am her only child. I am the only family within 500 miles. I often have to take time off work to drive her to medical appointments, to meet with speech or occupational therapists. She can barely speak now and I am the only person who can understand her and need to mediate everything.

My work has been mostly accommodating except for my store manager, I recently asked for an afternoon off, as it was my daughters 5th birthday and I wanted to take her and my mom out for lunch, I am weary that it my be my daughters last birthday spent with grandma, Anyway, I reminded the manger that I was leaving and asked him to take over my responsibilities for the afternoon. He refused and told me to leave and have fun with my "dead mother." I couldn't believe it. Everything in me wanting to knock him out, but I had more important things to tend to and left. But I am still in shock. I am not asking for the world to feel sorry for me, or even support me, but is it too much to ask for a little sympathy?

 

[lgelb]

I am sorry that your store manager is such a jerk, but glad that you held back from losing your job and possibly more than that if he had filed charges.

If you have another option at another branch or company, maybe worth looking at...of course, you are in the right in terms of what he said, but you may not want to act on it if/as the co. will stand as a reference or you don't want to lose your job on a pretext.

The outside world does not always get it. Or, you never know, it may hit too close to home for him in some way. We can't control others in their worst moments, only how we respond. Kudos on the high road.

Best,
Laurie

 

[patrick123]

Request FMLA family leave act. You can use it intermittently not all at once. You get 60 days a year to care for a family member.
And report your store manager right now.
Patrick

 

[Manhattanite]

That is an awful and inconsiderate thing to say. Under normal circumstances a comment like that would be shocking and upsetting -- add to that being a CALS and it is magnified one hundred times.

I am finding that as I go through this experience in life, I have had to come up with techniques to protect my sanity and my feelings. A comment like that can only hurt you as much as you allow it do so. It shows what an inconsiderate person your supervisor is - but that is separate from anything that you are or anything that you are doing. You are right that there are more important things that need your attention right now rather than focusing on this person's insult.

Good luck and stay strong!

 

[diagnosed2016]

Absolutely go to your HR manager.

 

[Lkaibel]

You definitely need to go to HR. That kind of behavior should not go unchecked.

 

[lgelb]

For others reading, here are the US eligibility criteria for taking FMLA:

Employed for a year, has worked at least 1,250 hours during the 12 months prior to the start of FMLA leave. The employer is one who employs 50 or more employees within a 75-mile radius of the worksite.

 

[Lkaibel]

From the HR perspective, many employers do comply with FMLA even if they are not strictly required to do so. In these litigation filled times, "kindness" is frequently the best policy. Regardless of if you choose to say something about this behavior now or not, I think at some point when you feel in a place to do so, you should "out" the bully. Speaking as a Regional Manager, I would for sure want to know if any of my managers were behaving so horribly. Not just because it's crazy nasty but because it could cost my organization a lot of money in lawsuits about any number of issues.

Take care of you and your mom
First and foremost of course.

 

[Buckhorn]

That has got to be the absolute WORST comment I have ever heard! Your manager is an A$$ and needs to be reported to his superiors. Good luck to you and bless you for caring for your mom.

 

[notBrad]

As my father use to say the only fix for some people is to beat the living hell out of them

 

[Dave K]

A moron being an a$$hole. If someone said that to me, in the unlikely event I could keep control, I would look him in the eye and say "What you said is very hurtful." But I really doubt I could keep control.

 

[swalker]

I am so astonished to read your experience. There are all sorts of folks in the world, including the clueless and the mean. I am not sure which you store manager is, but from the way you worded the post I am concerned it is a bit of the latter.

I am big on forgiveness and would encourage you to consider that even when it is not deserved. But, I would also encourage you to address this with your employer.

If you work for a large company, their HR department should be equipped to handle such situations. In smaller companies, you might have far less organization support. I have seen folks filing complaints treated unfairly by smaller companies (and occasionally larger companies as well). Be sure to assess the situation and deal with in a way that is best for you. Don't let the jerk win!

Steve

 

[FrJn]

Hmmmmmm, methinks this guy is the living portrait of the south end of a northbound mule.

John