Taking ativan says he feels worse?

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swmn

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still praying...

hi Gina -
Still thinking of you and praying for you both - hope his situation improves again today. good luck w/ theGP- :)
Landscape: wow - lots of great support and information to share - Thanks for your dedicated support on this thread.:)
 

Gina

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Hi everyone thanks so much for your support and guidance.After thinking about all the input and talk about oxygen levels and co2 levels i must admit that i am a little anxious.The more i thought about i the more i thought that maybe it is better if we do not know.In retrospect i am thinking that when the two docs.said that he had such a short time left it must have been becuse of the levels of oxygen.After living with this prognosis for over a year now im not sure if it would benefit either one of us to know just how much the levels have worsened and may just increase the allmost unbearable anxiety that we are both feeling right now since thier really wouldnt be much we could do about it anyway.I thank you for all your input and help but please understand that i just want him to be comfortable.Tomorrow i will have to go to the lawyer and get a copy of the DNR...order.After reading some of the post of people who were so devastated that when thier loved one did pass that the paramedics did do cpr.without the order i scared me so that i want to make sure that when his time comes it will be as peacefull as possible.It is just so painfull to watch him suffer and i am close to tears because i want to make it easy for him.I hope i dont sound ungratefull but at this point i almost think that ignorance might be bliss.I took him to the arena to watch our grandson play hockey the only time he really leaves the house.My other son was thier with his new baby and my husband held her on his lap the whole time in his wheelchair.He said to me on the way home with tears in his eyes "She is just so beautifull and i will never get to know her"then he said to me are you o.k. and i said yes at first and then i said NO..."i hurt for you too ! i hate this for you "We both believe that thier is life after death and i said to me "yes you will know her wont you come around and be thier to watch over us?"He said "Yes"....Dammit this disease is so hard on the whole familly and i can see it in thier eyes and i feel so damn helpless...i dont want my kids to hurt and i dont want my husband to hurt.........Gina
 

landscape

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Gina, we must all do what we feel most comfortable with. Any words offered here are merely set out as suggestions, to be left or taken as best suits you. Wishing you both well . . . and do let us know how you manage.
 

brooksea

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Gina,

I'm so sorry you are going through this very tough situation. We are all thinking of you and your family.
 

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Gina, I wish Brampton was closer to Cambridge so I could give you both a big hug. God bless, Norma
 

Gina

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Thankyou Norma,looks like another tough night here i am just finished decorating my little tree and feeling very much alone and afraid.My son and grandson came over to watch the hockey game with my husband i thought it would be a great time for me to go out and do some shopping.He seemed fine today and did not want to take his ativin pill about fifteen minutes after i got home he asked me for his pill and said i dont feel good tonight it is as if something in my body has let go.While i was gone my son told me that he told him that he didnt think he had much longer to go.He has said this before so iam hoping it is just because he was suffering from not taking the pills he was perscribed by the doc. last week because he thought that they were making him feel weaker.I think that the cruel fact is that the disease is just progressing.He went to bed before the game was even over and told me to tell my son and grandson thankyou for coming over to watch the game with me.It is like a nightmare that you can never wake up from and you know even when it is over thier will still be so much pain.Sometimes i wonder if i will ever know again how to be happy!Life just seems to be so cruel right now! thankyou for listening....Gina
 

swmn

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2:20 Am

hi Gina -

I couldn't sleep because I was thinking of you both - and concerned about how your day went. I was relieved to see your post. I'm so glad your son is coming over to watch Hockey w/ him so often. Just wanted to tell you I'm praying for you guys. Wish I could give you a real hug {{{ Hugs 4 U}}}
 

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My prayers are with you. Norma
 

Gina

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Hi swmn and Norma,thanks so much for your support and prayers !My husband is feeling a little better this morning and i am just so tired could not sleep at all.Hospice is coming this morn. to talk about getting a companion for him but you know i dont know if i could leave him with anyone now except a familly member.I still havent heard back from the lawyer on the dnr orders.I phoned yesterday and of course he wasnt in the office so i left a message..still waiting for the call.My little tree looks awesome and i cant wait to see it tonight with all the lights on!The nights im finding are always the hardest and thank you guys for helping me get through another tough one.......p.s.Things always look a little brighter in the morning.....Gina
 

landscape

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Gina, in this province you need a physician, not a lawyer, to sign a DNR order for the home. Just wondering if it was different in Ontario.
We were told to put my husband's order on the fridge as that's where the paramedics would look. But I believe the paramedics are notified when an order such as this is completed. In this province (or this city) you can choose among three levels:
Level 1 = All care including CPR
Level 2 = NO CPR - All levels of care other than CPR
Level 3 Palliative care - comfort measure only.

We have been told that if at any time my husband changes his mind, the order can be changed to suit his wishes. At all times they will respect his wishes.

Let us know how the Hospice visit goes.
 

Gina

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Hi landscape i am really starting to get confussed about this whole issue .I phoned my g.p and she said not we do not do that and suggested that i call the hospital.I explained that we had done the living will and that it was all done by the lawyer so then she suggested calling the lawyer.I called the lawyer and left a message and he is yet to return my call.My daughter in law whom has just bought a house and used his services says that he is out of town a lot and it may take a while.Dammit why does everything have to be so complicated! .....The caseworker from hospice came today to talk to Glen and i about getting a companion for him while i take care of errands and such.My daughter who is also a social worker attended the meeting which i am thankfull for because it is always so nice to have another set of ears.She left a whole lot of info.which i still havent found the time to read but will tom...I think with homecare and hospice we will be able to manage much better.Sometimes i just get so overwhelmed especially now with xmas coming and all i am finding i can only take one day at a time........thanks so much for your support and once that order is in my hands i know i will feel much better.......Gina
 

Icanmanz

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Gina, hi! I have been reading some posts, and my heart aches for you dear. I know the pain, the helplessness, anxiety, etc, that you are experiencing. Yes dear, it does hurt a lot to watch our loved ones suffer. Has your husband lost weight? Does he still have his speech? I hate to ask these questions. You don't have to answer them if you don't want to. I'll understand. When my son's time was near we were all gathered around him, and di not sleep at all that night. I was numb, had no feeling, was not sleepy. When we started giving him his morphine, he started drifting into a sleep. He asked me to sign the DNR for him, because he did not want any resucitation(sp?) He started showing real signs of departing Sat. evening, by Sunday 5:50 he was gone. The hospice nurse told us that someitmes they could be like that for a week or so. I thought to myself, "oh no" I did not want to see my son like that. I talked to him, and told him if he was ready to go ahead. I talked to him the whole time, and assured him I was going to be alright, I just wanted for him to rest. I said my good byes to him, and thank God it did not take him a long time. Gina, we know our loved ones are going Home, so what's the use of wanting him here longer, knowing that there is no cure. I am not trying to sound morbid, I just wanted my baby at peace, and I thank my Father he answered my prayer. May God bless you and your husband. Keep us posted.

Irma
 

AngelManFL

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Hi Gina, I'm so sorry for what your going through right now and will continually keep you and your family in my prayers. I was actually quite surprised they Rx Ativan for your husband. If it is anxiety they looking to relieve why not Xanax? Xanax is mental relaxer not a muscle relaxant. Xanax slows racing thoughts and obsessive thinking which in turn calms the person's "mind", Ativan is a physical sedative which causes the physical 'body' to relax. My mom takes Ativan for your heart conditions, we recieved these differences about the meds from heart Dr. This may be the reason he doesn't want to take it. You really should contact your Gp and ask about the differences. I'm by no means an expert, but it strikes me odd that if he is having trouble breathing that they would Rx Ativan. Thank you so much for your thoguhts and advise you have given to me lately - you are an amazingly strong person - even if "in the moment" it may not seem that way..

God Bless.
 

landscape

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Gina, I'm glad you are getting support from Hospice. If your daughter is a Social Worker perhaps you could give her the task of finding out how to get the DNR order. Could she ask the caseworker from hospice? Or your ALS Society? Or your ALS Clinic? Since a lawyer has no medical degree, I really don't see that they could sign such an order.

Re: the Ativan, I believe it is the drug of choice in this circumstance because it does permit some bodily relaxation and eases the anxiety and thus allows the breathing to become easier. My husband also has a prescription for it and now that his breathing is so badly compromised. I give it to him (in addition to the morphine) if the shortness of breath becomes frightening for him. He is now also on oxygen since his O2 levels dropped considerably. It is entrained into his Bipap. However the Palliative care nurses and Respiratory therapists check his levels frequently with an oximeter (i.e. sometimes several times in a day).
 

CindyM

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Hi Gina. I don't have much to add but wnated you to know that I am think of you today. Your task, helping your DH through this last transition, is not easy but hopefully your load will be a little lighter now that Hospice is around to offer support. I am surprised that hospice does not know how to det a DNR. Hopefully your daughter will come up with the answers.

This is hard on you all. I hope today goes as easy as possible. Blessings and peace, Cindy
 
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