Struggling

[Narrowminded]

It’s been a mixed day. Brian was good most of the day until about 4. Then the anxiety kicked in again. Not sure what the true story is, probably will never know, but now he will not let me use the cough assist. Every time I have asked, anxiety or no, his eyes get big and he says no.

I also learned something about myself today. DD and I went to Restoritive yoga this afternoon. Her boss at the clinic this summer teaches yoga on the side. I’ve done it before and it is meant to relax and restore you. What I learned is I can no longer relax. I could not get my mind to shut off. Came home with a headache and more anxious than when I went. Something else this monster has taken, my ability to relax. I sure hope as time goes by this med fixes that. I actually was crying a bit there as I realized that truth.

Sitting now with DH watching some shows, trying to get him to relax.

Tomorrow I will visit my mom for her BD.

Hugs

 

[affected]

Sue, I'm glad you identified this inability to relax as you need to watch this and let your doctor know if the new med is not impacting this over the next week. Serious health issues can result (and yeah I'm sure you know this, but when it's your own body what you 'know' is often put aside for the needs of your PALS).

I use youtube for yoga (search yoga with Adriene). She has a huge range of sessions for all levels (I'm actually really new to this and she is brilliant). And she does sessions for particular areas of the body (I truly cannot believe the difference in my neck and shoulders after 20 years of issues, the releases are incredible) and for anxiety stuff as well.

It may help if you can make time to start doing something every day. Many of her sessions go for only 20 minutes, so it's not like trying to get out and being away for an hour or more. Even 10 minute sessions may help you start to train yourself to relax again - I'm concerned the pressure is going to build severely when DD leaves.

Hugs and love to you my friend, sincerely just here for you xx

 

[Narrowminded]

Thank you Tillie. I used to do yoga twice a week for years. I love it. I even downloaded and App called ‘Downdog Yoga” probably getting close to a year ago. You can set the length of your practice, choose body parts etc. I’ve used it some, not enough. I struggle with it. When I do yoga, I need to concentrate and really get into my practice and myself. It’s hard when one ear is always open. I’m trying though.

I’m actually wondering if it’s this new med giving me the headache. Woke with it. It’s unrelenting and Tylenol doesn’t do much to relieve it. I took this med in the past w/o issues, but things are so different now. They way I eat (much healthier), things going on in my life. The Dr encouraged me to try and get through 2 weeks as she says side effects tend to pass. I will do my best.

Similar scenario to the last med one day I felt pretty decent and bang the next day was the headaches etc. We will see if this continues. Took my own BP to make sure it wasn’t that, nope 112/71. BP is good. HR 71 so it’s not that.

DH’s stats so far this morning look good. yeah it’s morning. I’m going to try something different today and see if I can’t head the anxiety off at the pass. I’m going to give him some Ativan, needed or not at about 2. He generally starts this around 4 so maybe we can mitigate it.

Our friend also arrived last night. Haven’t seen him since early Jan. He’s the one who spent much time in the hospital. He’s weak. This is a quick stop, then he’s going further north for Wed-Sun then he will be back here for a week.

Have a great day all

 

[Narrowminded]

Well today turned into a complete mess. My nurse called me, she was called by her grandmothers nursing home, her grandma was dying so she did not come today.

DD stayed here so I could go visit mom for her BD. We barely got to talk. Dad has suddenly taken a downturn with his cognition. He just continuously went back and forth to the bathroom. When I came in, he was standing in his underwear with his pants laid out on the floor. Got him dressed and this parade to and from the bathroom went on the entire hour. Mom says this goes on all night as well.

Looks like we will have to move dad down to the memory care unit. This is about to double in price. He will need to go there and she will still need a room where she is. I asked her how she felt about moving him there, told her to think about it. I told her I could give my opinion, my brother could give his (I think they will be the same), but she needs to decide that for herself too.

Dad was also quite angry. Not good. He was just plain miserable. What should have been a nice visit was horrible. I’m not sure if the Ativan is contributing to this change or not. Mom doesn’t think it’s a big change since starting this med. She says he’s been like that, however, it’s a lot different from when he was here. I’m going to have to call his Dr tomorrow and leave a message.

What an awful day. I just need to go somewhere and cry it out.

Hugs

 

[KateEmerson]

So sorry to hear about the kind of day you had Sue. Kate

 

[affected]

So sorry Sue, how awful

 

[ThisPresentMoment]

You might think about double checking his meds with the staff if it's a big change in behavior from when he was with you. It's possible they missed something. It could also be the change in location though.

 

[lgelb]

Benzos like Ativan are generally not recommended for older people, due to fall risk magnified. Someone with cognitive impairment is likely going to be more cognitively impaired.

 

[Nikki J]

There are so many possible reasons for his downturn. If it was sudden though infection should be ruled out. Confusion has been called the geriatric presentation of illness. Has he been checked for UTI, prostatitis, pneumonia?

 

[adrivtham]

Sue, you are so courageous... My dad had some episodes during his illness where he did weird things and turned out to be UTIs. I hpe things get better for you.
Big Hug
Adriana

 

[Narrowminded]

Thanks all.

Laurie I questioned the Ativan with his Dr when prescribed. It was to help him sleep as he was up and down all night.

He does have prostate issues and has for years. He is on meds for that. I also questioned a UTI. Hard part is, due to Brian I can’t take him anywhere, and my brother is on vacation this week.

His thyroid level is all messed up too. Right now he’s on too much thyroid med, I’ll be calling today about that

Spoke to my mom last night and after I left, he calmed down. She said the rest of the day was much better.

I also spoke to the nurses about the fact they were giving his Ativan at 7:30 when it was supposed to be bedtime to help him sleep. It was knocking him out in his chair and just giving him a good nap, but then he was up all night. I instructed it not be given until 10. I talked with Mom at 9:30 and it had not yet been given, so today I will see how that worked out.

I will be calling his Endo today. I realized that with them moving and my mom going right into the hospital that they probably don’t have his current whereabouts or phone number to change the meds even if they wanted to. I will get that updated this morning.

In other news, my headache is finally gone and B is good so far this morning, still I resting.

Hugs

 

[Nikki J]

Can you get an order from one of his doctors to get a urine? Could not the facility then send it out? Or even arrange for a home draw for blood? Before you make a decision to move him it seems as if ruling out infections and adjusting his thyroid medication could possibly make a big difference. If his agitation relates to some of that maybe he can stop the Ativan

 

[Narrowminded]

Nikki I won’t be moving him quickly. I will go through the Dr.’s first. Calling there is my first order of business today. Just waiting for offices to open. Then if things don’t settle, I will consider the move.

 

[Jrzygrl]

Sending you energy for the day Sue! Sounds like you have another busy day ahead.

 

[lgelb]

Ativan is a "chemical cosh" as a sleep agent and clearly contraindicated in this setting.

Mirtazapine or trazodone at low doses would be much safer, esp. in dementia.