• Memoriam wall
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Thanks everyone :)

I got through yesterday and now head through the last month of the first 12 without Chris.

Lots of reflection happening, and lots of feelings of loss of my soul mate. Mostly I think I just kind of 'get on with it', but sometimes the loss of him is stark and rather than my home feeling peaceful it feels empty.

Deep breath, on with it girl ...
Can't compete with Max, no pool here.

Hi Tillie,

I remember reading your post and thinking, "what a beautiful love story...it reminds me so much of mine and my husband's love ." It is evident you and Chris had a very special love.

My Rick began his eternal life 20 days ago, March 3, 2015. It has been surreal. After 35 years of marriage in which the last 5 years we were acutely aware of the consequences of this horrific disease, albeit Rick fought a hard fight to the bitter end, made it no easier to accept. Occupying myself with the daily grind of caring for him and hoping beyond hope for some cure and praying for a cure and more time while making the best of it did not prepare me for the physical pain and mental anguish of not having my Rick here with me. My heart aches. I long to see his beautiful dimpled smile, hear his witty comments and just hold him one last time I miss him so very much.

I am so sorry and can't even think a month out much less a year out and the thought that it's been a year for you gives me hope. I am so sorry for the loss of your grandchild. I can't even begin to relate I'm pray for you and your family.

Wanted you to know I'm in Austin and extend an invitation to you if you ever make it out here.

God be with us all...
kingsaustin sincere condolences to you, maybe you should make your own memorial thread to announce your loss properly? I'm not religious at all, I'm glad you use faith in god to get through, I believe in whatever works for each individual.

Back to my own thread here. It seems I'm going to have a range of people staying a night or 2 each over the Easter period. It's a bit odd as I don't have guests stay (besides the kids) very often. No one is doing it specifically to see me, they are either coming for something else or passing through.

I'm feeling there is some support and distraction therapy lining up. It occurred to me a few days ago that it's almost going to be like having 2 anniversaries. Chris went downhill on the morning of Easter Friday and passed early in the morning of the Tuesday.

So it feels a bit like Easter will be a year even though it's far earlier this year, and then the actual date will be a year.

IIWII often helps me put on my big girl panties and swallow another teaspoon of concrete to start the day ;)
>Can't compete with Max, no pool here.

well Janie, Houston in Summer makes the pool 90f + so it's more a big bath :)
One year.

Hard to believe.

Sorrow is part of who I am now, but I have much in life to be grateful for.
And we are richer and feel more alive and cared for because of what you endured and who you came out as on the other side. I've worked hard to keep my emotions in check on this ride, but can still smile for the privilege of knowing you even as I shed a tear for your loss. Thank you for being a friend and mentor to so many of us. You ARE much loved...

>Sorrow is part of who I am now, but I have much in life to be grateful for.

hugs from houston katrina!
Tillie, I hope you are ok. This must be a rather difficult time for you. I don't think the pain ever goes away, one only learns to deal with it. Hugs.
Hugs from Tucson, Tillie.

I've never felt so close to someone I've not met in person. What you do for us all here is amazing. We can't take away the sorrow, but perhaps dull the pain a bit.
I wish I knew a way to replace your sorrow with joy. To fill the void. To stop wishing for what can't be. I'm told it's better to have loved and lost than no to have loved... I'm sure Chris would want you to let the sorrow go and feel only joy, and I know how trite that sounds. We love you, sister.
May you always hear his voice in the rustling of the tress, feel his touch with each breeze and see his love in each sunset.
God Bless, Janelle x
I am thinking of you today Tillie. You give me hope that we can possibly become stronger after surviving this dreadful loss.

Thank you so much for the beautiful words of support everyone. You make a huge difference!
Just got back from a week away with no internet.
You give so much to others Tillie, you have stayed here and encouraged each of us as we travel this MND road.
Your grief is a reflection of yours and Chris's love, don't forget to keep loving and being kind to yourself as you are a wonderful person.
With love and hugs
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