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Rhonda I have immense respect for the care you have provided your husband. I am a son taking care of his mother alone. I don't have a lot of experience, nor can I fully relate to the struggles of your situation. You've come to the right place! I posted only a few days ago, and through advice of experienced CALS have felt much better since. I pray you can find that same relief. I will pray for peace and a resolution for you through the vast and helpful network this site provides! Thank you for posting and sharing.
 
I have nothing to add as far as getting help, you've already gotten good advice, so I'll let you in on some of my "horrible thoughts" do you know you're not alone.

I get angry when my PAL refuses to be flexible with her feeding when I need to get something done first.
I hate her dogs and secretly can't wait until I can get rid of them.
My stepbrother, Ks son, never visits. I needed him to fill in for me recently, he fed her, took her to the bathroom and left. I want to tell him what an ass he is. I want to yell that he's breaking her heart. I want to tell off everyone who doesn't have time to help, but I hold my tongue.

Seek out respite care. It's going to make you a better caregiver and wife. I'm sorry.

Jen
 
Actions can be horrible. Thoughts are an adaptation -- our most human one-- to prevent horrible actions. Therefore, I don't characterize any thoughts as horrible. But anyone who wants to have a quality of life discussion with the one you love and hasn't yet, please do.

Also, I don't want to hijack Rhonda's thread, but wanted to welcome dhp, who has carried a heavy load for longer than most of us can imagine.

Best,
Laurie
 
Oh Rhonda, my heart goes out to you. This is such a sad horrible disease all round.
As everyone has said, vent when you want. Sometimes just getting it off your chest is a big help.
I so wish I could give you some respite.
As Mike said, barbie is spot on with her advice.
I hope you manage to get extra help for 'you' time.
You are in my prayers, God bless, Janelle x
 
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