so many decisions

[irismarie]

It seems at the stage I am - no def. diagnosis but pretty certain - there are so many decisions to make, not the least relative to persons around one.

I know this seems personal and of course I shall make my own decision but not knowing exactly how things pan out I could do with experienced input.

The person I live with is ready to stay with me and help me through this and that is fantastic - but by nature he is unreliable, dishonest and negative, liable to attacks of misery verging on the violent when he runs out of dope, exactly the kind of darkness that I want to banish from my life. I could only just about cope with it when I was well and now the stress when he goes bad is more harmful than ever. BUT he is the only person who can live with me and says he is ready to share this with me and he is good in that.
Will the need for practical help override the negative side? Or is it more important to feel "clean"?
I hope the personal naature of this does not offend
IRismarie

 

[indigosd]

irismarie, oh...what a horrid situation...really there is absolutely no one else? Reading your post it seemed to me that you know intuitively that this man is NOT the person that you want to spend this journey of your life with-right? Now is the time to fill your life with moments of wonder, peace jou and love, not stress and sadness. The "verging on the violent when he runs out of dope" is a GIGANTIC red flag! It is not easy to be a caregiver to a PALS. Even those of us that are drug/etoh free and very in love with our PALS have moments when it is just soooo overwhelming. There has to be someone else. I do not know what your economic situation is or if your country has programs like the USA to help with homecare-please find another caregiver! hugs, Kay Marie

 

[GlenBrittle]

I tend to agree with Kay , you do not need the worry or stress of a friend like that.

That kind of anxiety will speed up the progression.

Glen

 

[brooksea]

I would be willing to bet that your friend will be the one making that decision before you know it (unless, of course, he is staying for monetary reasons/dope)! If he is unstable and unreliable, he will be unable to deal with the various issues that will arise down the road with ALS. You are putting yourself up for neglect and possibly cruel treatment.

Sorry if that sounds brash!

 

[irismarie]

Thank you for your replies. I know the truth that you point out. But I realise already the huge amount of practical help that is neccesary - a single step being a barrier now and stuck unless he is there to help me up. But in my heart I know that truth that you spell out for me. So hard - but this is just the beginning, I realise.

 

[Zaphoon]

I'll just add that if I were looking for someone to help me, that last person I'd choose is the fellow you described above.

You need someone dependable that has integrity; someone that cares about you and nothing for dope.

Just my 2 cents...

Zaphoon

 

[paleshia]

you deserve better!

 

[irismarie]

thanks, zaph and Jen
It really does help to know other people CARE if nothing else
Love to all
Irismarie