Second Tragedy- (WARNING- tragic)

[FeelingTooFarAway]

How do you deal with the unthinkable when you're already battling ALS as a family? My Chaddy-Baby (my cousin I loved dearly and not that Chad was a baby- he was the older one- 20 going on 21) was recently killed in a murder/suicide. I don't I've really come to terms yet with the fact he's gone. I cried the first 2 1/2 days and then suddenly couldn't anymore. It doesn't feel real. In fact we're still waiting on the police to release the body. The memorial date has yet to be decided but when it does I'll be flying immediately to Arizona.....

Chad was shot in his sleep by his girlfriend who then committed suicide... I can't help but think of what it would be like if he had been awake? Would he still be alive? Chad was a multi-degree black belt and my bada$$ protector of a cousin (excuse my language). Well except when we first met- he initiated me into the family by spraying me with the hose. BUT! When I was 8 he got a hold of my school pictures and took them to school to show them off- and then tell his friends not to touch his baby cousin. It was just the other summer I was jokingly/seriously saying that he should be my best man when the time comes- my wouldbegroom would have to choose a groom's maid instead. We promised to talk and call more and drifted apart recently.... I'd been planning on calling him in light of our aunt's divorce (not his mom's) but I didn't because I didn't know if they'd be upset. I feel like I should have called... All I want to do is talk about him...

And there's so much anger there too... I understand her family must be grieving and I feel really bad for her family... But I can't help but feel sick and angry that this girl had to take away my best friend. If she was going to commit suicide why take him too? Why wasn't this girl loved enough, helped enough... All her friends are posting how she was such a great happy person? How was she so great when this has happened as a result of her drug abuse....?

It just feels like everything's so unfair right now... I can't catch a break. My family can't have their peace. And his mom.... Chad's poor mom had to find them both on her birthday... And because everyone is scrambling to pick up the pieces I had to call Chad's brother in Los Vegas (who's never met me) to tell him the news...

I feel like this is all some sick joke...

 

[olly]

My heart goes out to you and your family ,this is just so terrible for you all and I wish there was something I could say to help.
Sadly this type of thing is becoming more common,apparently more common in the new year then at anytime.
Obviously his girlfriend was very ill,sometimes its hard for people to spot as the depressed person hides it (I know from my own experience with depression since my teens)
There really is no blame and no family member should beat themselves up about it.....its as you said,a tragic loss.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[zoohouse]

Some times this world seems too much to bare, and I am so sorry that you have tragically lost someone who is so dear to you. I don't want to patronize you, but please use this experience to show you how blessed you are to have the time and chance to love and help your family member with ALS. None of us are guaranteed a long life, but some of us get to be shown that we need to do all those things NOW. That is why when my brother's Lymphoma became terminal I was thankful that I was able to be there with him to the end, loving and caring for him, and he allowed it. Again I am sorry, and you among others will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Paulette

 

[Clearwater AL]

Someone told me once, "Rule #1... Life isn't fair. Rule #2... No one can change Rule #1." There will be no answers... the girl took them with her. Let the grieving process run it's course but do all you can to suppress the anger. Anger keeps the grieving cycle cycling. Condolences to you and your family.