Season of the Twitch

[BarryG]

Hallo all you wonderful people's. My name is Boris, I'm 21 and I live in lower Krackpotia where the only neurologist is my uncle Wictor who is a three hour dog cart trip up into the mountains. My problem is non stop twitching in my male member. Also there intermittent swelling and atrophy and it scares me very much, not to mention how it scares the sheep. My uncle Wictor has offered to do an EMG of the area using aunt Olga's knitting needles connected to the shortwave radio but after he showed me his NCV machine made of booster cables connected to the tractor battery I'm scared.

My third cousin Brunhilda has offered to do massage therapy after she shaves off her moustache but I'm scared.

Anyway, what should I do?

 

[dldred]

Sounds like a perfectly lovely place, I don't see any problems at all. I think the EMG should be no problem, there has got to be some good medicine around there somewhere to calm your nerves (also the sheeps).

Good luck Boris

Dana

 

[sadiemae]

Been wondering where you were!

 

[Okie2]

I think you and NotKnowingSucks should get together. Your story is way better than his and much more entertaining. Let us know if the massage works out.

 

[HelenL]

I don't know, I think I'd go with Brunhilda over the knitting needles!

Ah, the country... where men are men, and sheep are worried!

 

[momap53]

Barry, So not nice of you to make me ROFL. You should know that when someone with ALS lands in the floor they are unable to get up by themselves. Thank God that my KK will be home in 20 minutes!

 

[10starr]

That is twisted and hilarious at the same time! LOL

 

[Jeff Long]

None of your symptoms indicate ALS, so why are you so insistent on having all these tests done and pestering us with your whiney questions.
Oh wait... that was meant for someone else.

I'd say send Brunhilda and Wictor away on the tractor, have a couple of beers and chase those frightened sheep with the knitting needles.
If your fasiculations are indeed intermittent, I'd delay the nerve study until this problem is not so up-and-down.
And why are all of your children born wearing sweaters...?

 

[Felica]

I love you Barry. I was sitting here crying So tired of all of this. Then I clicked on your post now I am laughing. Thank you so much found my sense of humor. Thought I lost it. LOL

 

[LizT]

Ive been wanting to do a thread like this for SOOOO long!
Hi Im Laney, Im 27 and my fingernails get snagged on things.
If i put my tight tennis shoes on, my toes get scrunched and hurt
I went outside yesterday and got cold when the wind was blowing.
Im really scared I have ALS because of all the symptoms I just told you about.
LOL LOL LOL LOL

 

[EGBAR]

I would suggest that you worry all day and night, and make several post on the site indicating what the knitting needles and Olga determined, that is if Nanuk calls on the Shortwave and initiate the proper EMG through they equipment. Also check your baseball mitt and see if it is an authentic Lou Gehrig edition that is a dead give away.

 

[brooksea]

You know vat, Boris? I vould be scared sheepless, I vere you! I vouldn't trust Uncle Wictor, no matter how knowledgeable he be! I think safest ting is wisit many online forums - ask for adwice you vill not take! That vill ease your mind and your member...:mrgreen:

 

[Susan10]

Y'all are positively hilarious! Only a PAL/CAL could truly appreciate this humor. Love it!

 

[glupavomomiche]

(OMG that made me snort! Not attractive!)

Boris, OMG, OMG, OMG, I, like, have all those EXACT same symptoms. Well, except I'm a girl, so the twitching is in my boobs. I have been getting so weak I have to slither on the floor like a snake to move from room to room. I had 14 EMGs and the doctor keeps saying I have COPD IBS BFS or something like that. I think he just can't remember the right letters because I'm just so skeered it's is ALS. It might be MND tho, I'm not sure 'cause I ain't no neuro. Now my tongue has stopped working and since I lost control of it I swallowed it! You can't even see it anymore I swallowed it so far down. I just don't know what to do. Someone PLEASE write me back, OK? I'm really really skeered it's ALS. Oh crap, now my fingers quit working so I'm typing with my toes, so I have to end this. But PLEASE email me and let's talk about ALS/MND/KRAP/BS. My email is havingemgsuntiltheyjusttellmeihavealstoshutmeup at sldkfgwleghsdf dot com. Thanks ok, I'm gonna go check me email now to read what you can tell me, so please hurry! Toes are cramping! OMG!

 

[susanf]

I just peed my pants I'm laughing so hard.