Season of the Twitch
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Zaphoon
Extremely helpful member
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2008
- Messages
- 2,857
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- DX UMND/PLS
- Diagnosis
- 08/2011
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- Missouri
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- Springfield
Dear Barry,
The answer is Salt Peeter! Yes, you read that right! A little bit of Salt Peeter will go a long way in curbing those annoying twitches and the "come-and-go" atrophy of that certain body part that is troubling you.
I am surprised that your uncle Wictor hasn't offered this simple remedy to you but it may just be that he is just itching to use his home-built NCV machine on you.
The EMG needle your uncle uses intrigues me. Perhaps we here at PZ Laboratories, INC could put something like this to good use. Oh, if you'd like, I could have our shipping department overnight you a bottle of our new (and improved!) PZ's Own Personal Salt Peeter Remedy For Men.
Remember, the doctor is always in the house at PZ Labs!
The answer is Salt Peeter! Yes, you read that right! A little bit of Salt Peeter will go a long way in curbing those annoying twitches and the "come-and-go" atrophy of that certain body part that is troubling you.
I am surprised that your uncle Wictor hasn't offered this simple remedy to you but it may just be that he is just itching to use his home-built NCV machine on you.
The EMG needle your uncle uses intrigues me. Perhaps we here at PZ Laboratories, INC could put something like this to good use. Oh, if you'd like, I could have our shipping department overnight you a bottle of our new (and improved!) PZ's Own Personal Salt Peeter Remedy For Men.
Remember, the doctor is always in the house at PZ Labs!
ruthiep
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2011
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- 174
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- Loved one DX
- Diagnosis
- 01/2011
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- US
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- AL
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- Enterprise
OMG, I'm laughing so hard my belly hurts and I've got tears rolling! Thank you so very much for posting! I was just commenting to CJ last night that there seemed to be a large influx of people thinking they had ALS of late---I didn't know if I'd missed the memo that ALS was the disease of the month/quarter, etc! Again, thanks for the much needed laugh!
Ruth
Ruth
BarryG
Extremely helpful member
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- Nov 19, 2008
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- 3,000
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- 02/2008
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- CA
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- Alberta
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- Hinton
Many tanks for de goot advises from all you people who all thinkn you know so much ( excuse
My poor English my. First language is Krackpoti and there is no translation dictionary)
Because so many of you advice against it I went to see uncle Wictor for EMG and by sheer luck he was able to fit me in right aways. He started with my big toe and worked his way up my leg till he got to the affected part. It hurt as bad as when Aunt Olga caught me in the outhouse ogling uncle Wictor's copy of sheep lovers quarterly. The results are in, no ALS but I don't believe him. Also because of the power of his shortwave radio I now hear Radio Moscow in my head whenever my antennae swells up and WKRP in Cincinnati when it's atrophied. I wasn't sticking around for the NCV after he told me the voltage regulator and the clutch on the tractor were acting funny.
I'm off to see Brunhilda next after I stop for some chalk powder that she needs. She used to be top gymnast in Krackpotia and told me she has some moves guaranteed to reduce the swelling. She should be done shaving by now (everyone says she looks a lot less like Joseph Stalin after she's shaved)
Good bye and good licks and remember me Boris I have 21 years.
My poor English my. First language is Krackpoti and there is no translation dictionary)
Because so many of you advice against it I went to see uncle Wictor for EMG and by sheer luck he was able to fit me in right aways. He started with my big toe and worked his way up my leg till he got to the affected part. It hurt as bad as when Aunt Olga caught me in the outhouse ogling uncle Wictor's copy of sheep lovers quarterly. The results are in, no ALS but I don't believe him. Also because of the power of his shortwave radio I now hear Radio Moscow in my head whenever my antennae swells up and WKRP in Cincinnati when it's atrophied. I wasn't sticking around for the NCV after he told me the voltage regulator and the clutch on the tractor were acting funny.
I'm off to see Brunhilda next after I stop for some chalk powder that she needs. She used to be top gymnast in Krackpotia and told me she has some moves guaranteed to reduce the swelling. She should be done shaving by now (everyone says she looks a lot less like Joseph Stalin after she's shaved)
Good bye and good licks and remember me Boris I have 21 years.
Last edited:
ScarlettK
Active member
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- May 27, 2011
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- 86
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- Loved one DX
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- 05/2011
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- TN
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- Winchester
!
Oh my stars... I have never laughed so much on a Thursday morning... and yes, peeing in pants is not ALS related...just a weak bladder!
Thanks all of you! You are DA BOMB!
Oh my stars... I have never laughed so much on a Thursday morning... and yes, peeing in pants is not ALS related...just a weak bladder!
Thanks all of you! You are DA BOMB!
dldred
Senior member
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- Mar 31, 2009
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- Lost a loved one
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- 03/2009
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Well now Boris you think you would be happy with the diagnosis Wictor gave you, I am beginning to think you may have to go see a fortune teller. There must be someone around your area that can tell your fortune. Your Aunt Olga must know someone to help you in that area. No not that area the fortune teller area. Do any of the sheep have any ideas what could be wrong with you ? Let's just hope none of the sheep start to have the symptoms you have, that would be kind of a give away as to what has been going on there. Good luck Boris, keep up with the testing, maybe eventually you will find something wrong.
Dana
Dana
glupavomomiche
Distinguished member
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2011
- Messages
- 282
- Reason
- PALS
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- 09/2011
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- US
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- Texas
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- Podunk
I have laughed all day at this thread! I just think about it and laugh and laugh (Oh no, emotional lability already? Maybe I should go post somewhere about that...).
I had read some of "scared I have ALS" posts on here a looooooong time ago (somewhere between the "we think you have a brain tumor, oops, we're wrong" and the "maybe you have myasthenia gravis" days). At the time I was thinking, "Geeze, must suck to be thinking you have that crap." It never even crossed my mind that I would have such a thing, because that happens to other people, right? Anyways, so I knew where this humor was coming from and thought it was absolutely hilarious.
Then today I had some free time on my hands between my students' dress rehearsal and holiday show, so I went back and dug through some of those "scared it's ALS" threads, and saw it was even worse than I had remembered. I am FLOORED at how these people are absolutely obsessed with having ALS. They must be completely nucking futs! But what amazes me even more is that... a lot of you guys bother to write to them! I know what an effort it can be to write a response, especially for the folks relying on eye gaze and such.
So you know what I think? I think Dr. Appel is on to something. ALS really is the nice guy disease. And you're all just so darn nice you put up with the crazies. Absolutely amazing to be dealing with this and still have the heart to reach out to someone who should be thanking their lucky stars that they are healthy (in body if not in mind) and wishing/wasting their life away on this awful disease.
So I just want to say while I appreciate the opportunity to wet my pants laughing at those crazy folks' expense, I also appreciate knowing that I am in the company of such greatness as we turn this horrible disease into a beautiful and amazing experience.
And oh yeah, bring on more funnies!
I had read some of "scared I have ALS" posts on here a looooooong time ago (somewhere between the "we think you have a brain tumor, oops, we're wrong" and the "maybe you have myasthenia gravis" days). At the time I was thinking, "Geeze, must suck to be thinking you have that crap." It never even crossed my mind that I would have such a thing, because that happens to other people, right? Anyways, so I knew where this humor was coming from and thought it was absolutely hilarious.
Then today I had some free time on my hands between my students' dress rehearsal and holiday show, so I went back and dug through some of those "scared it's ALS" threads, and saw it was even worse than I had remembered. I am FLOORED at how these people are absolutely obsessed with having ALS. They must be completely nucking futs! But what amazes me even more is that... a lot of you guys bother to write to them! I know what an effort it can be to write a response, especially for the folks relying on eye gaze and such.
So you know what I think? I think Dr. Appel is on to something. ALS really is the nice guy disease. And you're all just so darn nice you put up with the crazies. Absolutely amazing to be dealing with this and still have the heart to reach out to someone who should be thanking their lucky stars that they are healthy (in body if not in mind) and wishing/wasting their life away on this awful disease.
So I just want to say while I appreciate the opportunity to wet my pants laughing at those crazy folks' expense, I also appreciate knowing that I am in the company of such greatness as we turn this horrible disease into a beautiful and amazing experience.
And oh yeah, bring on more funnies!
Felica
Distinguished member
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- Nov 15, 2011
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- 116
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- 06/2011
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- US
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- Al
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- Gardendale
Major Question. How do these people even find this site. I did not go near it until. Several doctors said ALS and I would not believe it. So here I am. Not asking many questions. When I get a new symptom I look it up and get my answers. Don't know where I would be without you guys. Ok made it sappy. Sorry guys. Just had to say it lol
Jellycat
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- Jul 3, 2010
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- Dublin
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- Dublin
Ah Boris, ya, I hear ya. Of course you don't believe uncle wictor! He is only stringing you along so that he can do regular & frequent emg's. We won't even talk about the needles. If I were you I'd take refuge in Brunhilda's moves-guaranteed to reduce swelling on sight...and no doctors fees. Then we can get down to the serious business of weakness & atrophy.
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