Hi Sarah, I am terribly sorry for your loss, and I know you are having a tough time. I recently lost my brother in law, and my niece his daughter is only 30. He was only 57. During the last two years of his life she had him live with her and her husband and took care of him. It has been very hard for her. I am not sure how she will deal with her grief. We have encouraged her to join a grief support group. I will tell you this, after my father passed away from Lung Cancer five years ago, I went to grief counseling with my Mom which was offered by the Hospice group that had taken care of my Dad, which ironically was only for 3 days. That support group really helped the both of us. We still had our bad days, but we had each other and we had the group. Now 5 years later, I can tell you this, the sadness of losing your parent never leaves you. You will miss your Mom each and every day of your life. But with time, and do mean time, you will have less bad days, and more good days. You will be able to remember the good times and your memories will be the moments that get you through. Hang in there, and remember you are not alone, and there are people and places out there that you can go to, to get counseling to help and support you during this difficult time. I hope for the best for you, and remember you were a child when this disease started with your Mom, and through it you have grown into a beautiful adult. Give yourself now the time to enjoy some of the things you might have missed while you were being a wonderful loving daughter to your Mother. She would want you to be happy and to enjoy your life. Hang in there.