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sarah15

New member
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
1
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
North carolina
City
advance
hi-i m new, never posted or joined a support group. i am 27yrs old and recently lost my mother to a 15 years battle with ALS. i am not coping well and was searching for suggestions to help deal with the emptyness. i was 12 yrs old when she was diagnosed and had 3 younger siblings. Taking care of her was my purpose in life for so long, i am struggling to find a way to live this new life. if there are anyone has any suggestions or advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
 

witzz

Member
Joined
Dec 6, 2007
Messages
19
Reason
Loved one DX
Diagnosis
06/2007
Country
US
State
NY
City
New York City
Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. You've literally been taking care of your mom for half your life. It's no wonder that you are feeling unable to cope. I would definitely suggest that you look into grief counseling. There's no shame in asking someone else to help you find your way; that is what they are there for! Good luck to you.

~Witzz
 
Joined
Mar 24, 2008
Messages
9
Reason
Loved one DX
Country
US
State
California
City
San Dimas
Hi Sarah, I am terribly sorry for your loss, and I know you are having a tough time. I recently lost my brother in law, and my niece his daughter is only 30. He was only 57. During the last two years of his life she had him live with her and her husband and took care of him. It has been very hard for her. I am not sure how she will deal with her grief. We have encouraged her to join a grief support group. I will tell you this, after my father passed away from Lung Cancer five years ago, I went to grief counseling with my Mom which was offered by the Hospice group that had taken care of my Dad, which ironically was only for 3 days. That support group really helped the both of us. We still had our bad days, but we had each other and we had the group. Now 5 years later, I can tell you this, the sadness of losing your parent never leaves you. You will miss your Mom each and every day of your life. But with time, and do mean time, you will have less bad days, and more good days. You will be able to remember the good times and your memories will be the moments that get you through. Hang in there, and remember you are not alone, and there are people and places out there that you can go to, to get counseling to help and support you during this difficult time. I hope for the best for you, and remember you were a child when this disease started with your Mom, and through it you have grown into a beautiful adult. Give yourself now the time to enjoy some of the things you might have missed while you were being a wonderful loving daughter to your Mother. She would want you to be happy and to enjoy your life. Hang in there.
 

Icanmanz

Senior member
Joined
Jul 14, 2007
Messages
947
Reason
PALS
Country
Uni
State
Texas
City
Tomball
Hi Sarah. Sorry to hear about your loss, may she rest in peace. I know what you are going through. Am keeping you in my prayers. I, too, lost my 38 yr old son to Als 10 months ago today. I was broken hearted during his illness, and continued with a broken heart after he passed. I have been through some sad, sad days, but these feelings are slowly fading away. I go to visit his grave regularly, and that helps. I always feel so much better after I visit his grave. He has a beautiful grave marker with his picture on it.

Sarah, I will keep you in my prayers. He will give you comfort and strength to go on with your life. Take care of yourself, and God bless!

Irma
 

paula-jane

Distinguished member
Joined
Feb 8, 2007
Messages
112
Reason
Lost a loved one
Country
CA
State
Ontario
City
Oakville
Sarah,

First off, I'm so sorry for your loss. Mothers are very special people and I'm sure you did your best for yours.

It will be tough to fill the days and the times when you would normally be looking after your mom. It will be tough for quite some time I'm going to guess. You have spent 15 years of your life caring for her. How wonderful for your mom to have been loved by you and how wonderful for you to have 15 years after diagnosis with her.

You sound like a wonderful person and I think if you hang around this forum a little, you will find a great bunch of people here to support you and comfort you. One day at a time.. that's the only advice I have.
 
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