jmaycavagnol
Member
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2011
- Messages
- 17
- Reason
- CALS
- Diagnosis
- 01/2011
- Country
- US
- State
- TX
- City
- Spring
Hi---My mom was recently diagnosed with ALS. She is in Indiana and I am in Texas. I have two brothers in their 50's who live less than 30 minutes from Mom.
Brother #1 is a recluse and has not held down jobs and really is a nice person but not someone that you can count on for any type of support.
Brother #2 married, 2 grown kids: Mom and brother's wife had argument (very petty one as they usually are) that resulted in them not speaking for about 6 or so years putting my brother in the middle and causing a divide in the family. Brother did not call or see Mom but maybe 2 times a year. within the last 6 months brother has resurfaced in mom's life and takes her dr's appts and calls about once a week and most recently took her for lunch and the grocery store. during his visits he proclaims how broke they are and how busy they are and etc etc. His two kids both in their early 20's have not even called their grand-mother or stopped to see her. Both of my brothers think that because I make considerably more money than they do and "have things" that I will incur all the costs and responsibilites as well as emotional care-taking and physical care of my Mom. Although I have NO problem caring for my mother despite our challenged relationship; she does have two other sons!
i get so angry when Mom goes on and on about how wonderful her sons are.....what? I can barely stomach a conversation with her about how wonderful they are to have picked her up and taken her to lunch.
I emailed brother #2 asking for his help to move Mom from Indiana to Texas and it was a very nice, loving, kind email and his response was "We will see"
Okay fine, I'll deal with that too.
Then Mom calls me and says my brothers can't afford to fly to HOuston to see her when she moves and can I pay for the tickets for all of them.....ummm my answer is a firm "NO"
I have barely had a realtionship with my brothers our whole lives (partly due to age difference, I am 36 and they are 51 and 52 and partly because of family dynamics) and now I don't want anything to do with them and I doubt I will speak to or see them after my Mom passes.
For now, she keeps asking me to get along with my brothers....excuse me? I am not the one with the problems; they are? Why isn't she telling them to get along with me?
Mom just makes excuses for them over and over again.....they don't have as much money, they are boys, they are busy with their own lives?
Ummmmmm, I have a full-time career and a full-time life but I still manage to be a normal, kind, respectful daughter/
All I try to do is just say "yes, I iwll get along with them" but I get so burned up everytime this discussion arises which is almost every day now.
I am so sorry to ramble on and on and on and on and on but I figure that the rant forum was as good a place as any.
Thanks for listening...
Brother #1 is a recluse and has not held down jobs and really is a nice person but not someone that you can count on for any type of support.
Brother #2 married, 2 grown kids: Mom and brother's wife had argument (very petty one as they usually are) that resulted in them not speaking for about 6 or so years putting my brother in the middle and causing a divide in the family. Brother did not call or see Mom but maybe 2 times a year. within the last 6 months brother has resurfaced in mom's life and takes her dr's appts and calls about once a week and most recently took her for lunch and the grocery store. during his visits he proclaims how broke they are and how busy they are and etc etc. His two kids both in their early 20's have not even called their grand-mother or stopped to see her. Both of my brothers think that because I make considerably more money than they do and "have things" that I will incur all the costs and responsibilites as well as emotional care-taking and physical care of my Mom. Although I have NO problem caring for my mother despite our challenged relationship; she does have two other sons!
i get so angry when Mom goes on and on about how wonderful her sons are.....what? I can barely stomach a conversation with her about how wonderful they are to have picked her up and taken her to lunch.
I emailed brother #2 asking for his help to move Mom from Indiana to Texas and it was a very nice, loving, kind email and his response was "We will see"
Okay fine, I'll deal with that too.
Then Mom calls me and says my brothers can't afford to fly to HOuston to see her when she moves and can I pay for the tickets for all of them.....ummm my answer is a firm "NO"
I have barely had a realtionship with my brothers our whole lives (partly due to age difference, I am 36 and they are 51 and 52 and partly because of family dynamics) and now I don't want anything to do with them and I doubt I will speak to or see them after my Mom passes.
For now, she keeps asking me to get along with my brothers....excuse me? I am not the one with the problems; they are? Why isn't she telling them to get along with me?
Mom just makes excuses for them over and over again.....they don't have as much money, they are boys, they are busy with their own lives?
Ummmmmm, I have a full-time career and a full-time life but I still manage to be a normal, kind, respectful daughter/
All I try to do is just say "yes, I iwll get along with them" but I get so burned up everytime this discussion arises which is almost every day now.
I am so sorry to ramble on and on and on and on and on but I figure that the rant forum was as good a place as any.
Thanks for listening...