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Hi Alyssa:
I know how you feel, in some ways. My fiance's mother was diagnosed 4 and a half months ago with ALS. Unfortunately she passed away last week, and it has been a difficult week.
This forum is an excellent way to ask questions about things you want to know about as there are some great people here, both caregivers and PALS. I learned a lot in my few short weeks I have been coming here and I wish I had found this resource when my fiance's mom was diagnosed.
Is there some way that you can arrange to visit your stepdad when your mom is not there? Also, can you keep in touch with him through emails or calling? This is the time that he needs his loved ones to be closest to him and know that you love him.
In respect to your mom, is there any way that you can say to her "look, I know we have our differences, but I want to be there for my stepdad and can we try to put things behind us so that we can be there for him?". Maybe print off your posting and these replies and show them to her if you don't know how to put it into words. Even though she may not admit it, I'm sure she would welcome your support and know that she has someone that she can talk to also.
ALS is a difficult disease to deal with, especially for the people who have it. It is hard on families to see their loved ones go through so many changes and it sometimes happens very quickly. I know that by getting as much information as I could helped me to put my fears aside and just be there for my fiance's mom.
If you have any questions, don't hesitate to post, and I'm sure someone on here will answer it for you.
Good luck and take care.
Allie