Scared mom of 2--Please help

[patricia1]

My general dr. Thinks I'm a joke. I am so scared of dying that it has taken over my whole life I don't know how to feel happiness anymore I don't laugh or smile I don't feel anything but fear I honestly feel like I am already dead

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I am sad for your children and family. They need you and you are obcessing .Your children need you now. before you know it they will be grown. Live and laugh now while you are young and in my opinion healthy.

Talk to your GP about a antidepression.

Pat

 

[CindyM]

Jadd- everyone here has offered some great advice. I also read on another thread that none of us are guaranteed a long life. Best to enjoy each day with our families. If you are not able to do that I hope you decide to ask your Dr for something to help you cope with this obsession. You deserve happiness. Cindy

 

[jattd]

Help PLEASE

i can't stop obsessing now my throat has been hoarse for almost a week with nasel drip and pain all these things make me beleive it is this disease. I know you all think im crazy but im not the only one that comes on here like this. I AM SCARED TO DEATH . I now think im haveing problem in my throat canstant clearing real dryness feeling i have to cough cause its so dry, lump in the throat. I also have uncontrolable crying. Im sorry because I know most of you on here are deeling with this real disease I just dont know where else to turn. Please tell me how to live life when I cant get rid of this fear.

 

[crystalkk]

Jattd,

You are not alone there are alot of young mothers on here with small children that are scared to death.
Are you taking anything for anxiety? The hoarse throat and nasal drip really might be your sinuses the nasal drip will make your throat raw and cause pain. We don't think you are crazy at all.... Try and keep busy with other things, it really helps me when I'm around other people and not talking about what I have going on, when I am by myself that's when I think too much and my symtoms feel 10 times worst. Please try and take care of yourself, your children need you. I believe you were supposed to go back to the Rhuemo, what was the outcome of that appointment?

 

[jattd]

I cant stop crying it almost uncontrolable I know it does not matter if I have this disease weather i know or not im going to die. My husband tries to mak me feel better and says its acid reflux i have to drink water to get my food to gao down can acid reflux do that. I cant take this there should be blood work or a test to tell you if you have this with tachnology the way its grown it should not be a waiting game and there should be a freaking cure by now nobody deserves to suffer I hate this world I dont understand why people have to suffer to die it does not make any sence

 

[crystalkk]

Jattd,

Unfornately alot of things don't make sense...anxiety can cause that lump in throat, which will make you have problems swallowing. Are you taking meds for acid reflux they can make your mouth very dry and cause swallowing problems. It sounds like you have a very caring husband.. Please try and get a grip on yourself and try to stop crying, put on some music it really lifts my mood.

 

[jattd]

I really appreciate your kindness it reall means alot to me. I have tried anxiety meds and not thinking about it and going out and playing with my kids but it does not help because its all still there. I dont want this anymore this is not life i feel like im in my own hell i just want to give up.

 

[crystalkk]

jatted,

Maybe you should talk to a therapist. You have small children and you can't give up. You probably don't even have ALS there are so many things that need to be ruled out, Do you have any real weakness or atrophy, I don't believe you mentioning that....that is a very good sign. Instead of worring about ALS try and find something else that is treatable and have some hope.

 

[jattd]

i have alot of muscle pain arm legs and muscle twiching al over mostly tyhe legs i cant stop crying im completly exhausted all the time my muscles in my legs feel like they shake sometimes also now this throat thing. maybe i am making myself crazy I dont know waht to do i cant get it out of my head i feel like everbody is better off without me especially my kids its not fare to them and i do have this i am not going to let them watch me die

 

[jattd]

know everyone on this board has givin very good advice and reasurance. I have just read irma's thread and have not been able to stop crying. My heart goes out to her to all of you. maybe you are right maybe I dont has this disease. You see im not afraid to die if I do. I am scared and afraid for my family for my boys who I love more then life its self and my mother who I know loves me more then life itself. and my wonderful supportive husband. Because you see they are the one who suffer once we go not us. They are the ones who have to try to go on without a mother a father or son or daughter or friend.

 

[hopingforthebest]

praying for peace for you for tonight

Take one day at a time. I will get off the forum right now and pray for you to have a peace that passes all understanding. Only God can give you that peace honey. Give it to Him and take all this off your shoulders. He does not want you to carry the burden.

Will go to pray for you right now!

Patty

 

[Angie679]

jttd;

Hi; I don't know if this will help you or not to hear but I have read your threads and I have experienced exactly what you are going through to the tee. I also have muscle aches and twitching; mostly in my legs. About a year ago I had that same thing going on with my throat too. This constant clearing of my throat and feeling like I couldn't swallow properly. I saw specialist after specialist and went through alot of testing. I had one doc tell me that once I get my head straightened out all of these random symptoms would go away. Well the good news is the throat thing went away on its own in time (but it took many diagnostic tests to convince me that it wasn't anything serious) and once I went through the EMG tests I slowly began to relax and the muscle aches have pretty much resolved. I do still have random twitching here and there but I keep talking to myself and telling myself that thank God I have today and I can get up and walk, see, feel, touch, love my two boys. We are not promised tomorrow so we have to enjoy today and whether we worry about things that may or may not happen will not change anything. We can't control how many days we live, only how we live them. I should take my own advice, but it's very hard when you're consumed with worry. I know exactly how you feel. My mom already lost a child, and I just can't imagine her pain if she lost me (not that I'm anything special), or if my kids lost me it would be horrible. But I try to remember that if God forbid that happened the pieces would be picked up and life would go on. Please try to find peace anyway you can; I have spent the last 11 months consumed by this disease and I look at it as lost time; that makes me angry at myself and it makes me resolve to the fact that I am going to take control of this anxiety and beat it. My therapist is helping too. I will pray for you; prayer is so very powerful, because God will take it from you if you want him to. Be well & think positive and remember the only thing to fear is fear itself. Sorry this is so long winded.

Angie

 

[jattd]

I try and tell myself I dont have weekness im not tripping or dropping things. I have muscle pain and shaking and twitching its not constant on and off during the day i know in my heart i cant change what will be but it doesnt help the fear that i have. My mom and husband want to know how I got this in my head I guess this stupid internet that pulls people in to self diagnose thenselves i know i should feel better i have a clean emg and neuro exam but then i hear about people on here who had them to and i meant nothing so just when are start to fear a little better the fear comes back. i know this fear wont make life better I should be happy I can walk talk hug and love and play with my children but this depression and crying and fear wont go away a wake up in the morning with such fear and anxiety even though i was told everything is ok I just cant beleive it doctors are not god they are wrong sometimes and at 35 they dont want to beleive there can be something wrong. anti depressant wont work anti anxiety meds help for a little while and then make me more exhausted. I dont know anymore.

 

[Angie679]

Jttd;

I am no professional however it seems appropriate to suggest to you to seek therapy. You may have tried this before, and felt it did not help, but you have convinced yourself that you have this disease and truly it is possible and probable in your case to have convinced yourself to the point where you are symptomatic. I'm not suggesting it's all in your head, but when you are at the point where you are not able to look beyond this in any way, your thinking really becomes cloudy. I can tell you that I went to a couple of therapist until I found the right one who understood generalized anxiety disorder and who worked with me slowly to re-train my thinking. It is very difficult I know to step away from the situation and see it from a different angle. My family is also very tired of hearing me "complain" and it is to the point where I cannot talk to them about it. But I can to my therapist and she understands and is able to talk me out of it. You may also want to see a professional who can work with you to find the right balance of anxiety medication. There is so much out there and where one could really harm you, another would be just the right chemical for your need. I believe that with the right medication and talk therapy you will begin to feel better. It takes alot of patience but you're worth it; and your kids are worth it. As I'm typing this my leg is twitching. I'm going to ignore it however. Take care of yourself.
Angie

 

[jattd]

Is the twitching normal do you beleive really its nothing how do you make yourself. I have so many weird symptoms i can not ignore them i try they dont go away or get better. I have been trying to find a therapist i have not had much luck. I made an apt to go back to the neuro on friday if he does not think i have als then i want him to refer me for a second opinion because i cant live this way not knowing what is going on with my body i need to know what is wrong with me. if it is not this then i want to know what it is.