Trevor49
Member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2014
- Messages
- 23
- Reason
- Other
- Diagnosis
- 12/2015
- Country
- CA
- State
- Ontario
- City
- Cambridge
I was hoping that I had dermatomyositis but I knew that wasn't causing my weakness or muscle wasting. It was a pretty easy diagnosis for the neurologist even though I still had some muscle strength. My arm muscles were just hanging there. I avoided going to the doctor to hear the news but my hands and fingers were getting go the point I couldn't move them and I've last so much weight and my mouth and face are now getting worse. I've left everything so late while waiting for huge doctors go determine if it is dermatomyositis .
Weeks of wasted time in the hospital and nie weeks bed ridden at home deteriorating. I can still walk and eat but have swallowing issues. I have a 16 year son that I haven't told yet as he thinks I'm going to get better. No one in my family knows yet as they think I will be fine. My wife doesn't want yo be a caregiver and I don't know whist to do. I don't want to a financial burden on everyone. I'm so much in denial and just getting weaker. Knowing I had but not being told was I guess the only thing keeping me going.
Now I'm lost and will tell everyone but I don't want yo live like this. I was looking at doctor assisted death but in Canada it will not happen until late 2016. I have insurance set up and want my wife and son to have a good life. My life is over. I'm progressing very fast but have very little breathing issues to date. I don't want to wake up. I can walk and speak ok but that is getting worse. I dealing with this pretty much alone and I didn't ask for this. I look at my arms and shoulders and it looks skinny with skin hanging there.
I don't wAnt yo be here and I will probably facing fast whatever they intend to do as I go back on Tuesday to discuss a plan as I left everything late and my condition has only gotten worse. I looked at the Steven Shackel story but I don't knoW if it is bs or has merit. At this point I'm looking at ways to make my life just go away but I'm a coward in all of this. I don't want to be paralyzed I will let me reach that point but I don't know whst to do.
My son is going yo be crushed as him and i are so close and love each other so much. My wife loves me but I know she won't help me with this as she told she doesn't want to be a nurse. I have paw coming twice a day to help me get dressed and shower but that won't help me in the later stages. We have go sell our house and my wife blames. Me fir everything. This isn't fair. I don't know why it took the doctors to figure this out I told them it wasn't dermatomyositis but they just continued with that. I'm sitting here and thinking of ways to get out of this mess. I can barely move my arms. There is no answer to any of my issues only doom.
Weeks of wasted time in the hospital and nie weeks bed ridden at home deteriorating. I can still walk and eat but have swallowing issues. I have a 16 year son that I haven't told yet as he thinks I'm going to get better. No one in my family knows yet as they think I will be fine. My wife doesn't want yo be a caregiver and I don't know whist to do. I don't want to a financial burden on everyone. I'm so much in denial and just getting weaker. Knowing I had but not being told was I guess the only thing keeping me going.
Now I'm lost and will tell everyone but I don't want yo live like this. I was looking at doctor assisted death but in Canada it will not happen until late 2016. I have insurance set up and want my wife and son to have a good life. My life is over. I'm progressing very fast but have very little breathing issues to date. I don't want to wake up. I can walk and speak ok but that is getting worse. I dealing with this pretty much alone and I didn't ask for this. I look at my arms and shoulders and it looks skinny with skin hanging there.
I don't wAnt yo be here and I will probably facing fast whatever they intend to do as I go back on Tuesday to discuss a plan as I left everything late and my condition has only gotten worse. I looked at the Steven Shackel story but I don't knoW if it is bs or has merit. At this point I'm looking at ways to make my life just go away but I'm a coward in all of this. I don't want to be paralyzed I will let me reach that point but I don't know whst to do.
My son is going yo be crushed as him and i are so close and love each other so much. My wife loves me but I know she won't help me with this as she told she doesn't want to be a nurse. I have paw coming twice a day to help me get dressed and shower but that won't help me in the later stages. We have go sell our house and my wife blames. Me fir everything. This isn't fair. I don't know why it took the doctors to figure this out I told them it wasn't dermatomyositis but they just continued with that. I'm sitting here and thinking of ways to get out of this mess. I can barely move my arms. There is no answer to any of my issues only doom.
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