sadly we had to Go to the Police

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Staying strong

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Nov 20, 2014
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78
Reason
Lost a loved one
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5/2011
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US
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ct
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danbury
Well after changing the locks and leaving a note asking to respect our Privacy My poor Daughter stopped to say Hi to her Grandmother and 5 mins later her uncle ( My late wife liz's brother) showed up and started screaming at her and telling her that She was horrible for treating her grandma like that and that her mother is looking down from heaven mad at her.. Then Grandma chimed in with I hope you enjoy your new whore Mother ( My G/f ) She left sobbing and called Me.. obviously we went to confront them about verbally attacking her. Of course there was a heat exchange but nothing physical. My poor little girl is now scared to go home after school alone. We went to the Police station today and my daughter made me proud telling her story. I was given the choice on her behalf to have my brother in law arrested and charged with harassment of a Minor. I declined but can change my mind. She told the officers " My Mommy is gone and these people scare me and make me sad just have them all stay away from us "I'm speechless that it had to come to this. I swear this ALS nightmare just won't end..
 
I am truly sorry to read this. How awful.

You story indicates that you should be concerned about continuing abuse directed toward your daughter and toward you.

While it may seem extreme, I encourage you to consider getting a restraining order against the two perpetrators.

I am not an expert in this area (in fact, I know very little).

I encourage you to consult a lawyer and then take the steps necessary to protect your family.

Steve
 
Wow, I can't believe anyone would say such hurtful things to a child. They clearly have major issues. She definitely needs to be protected from that abuse. So sorry.
 
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I just don't understand why anyone would be so cruel to a child who had watched a parent die from ALS. The only advise I have is to look at your relationship with these people prior to your wife's passing and maybe even before she got ALS -- this should be able to help you know what you need to do to protect your family. Sometimes grief makes good people a little crazy and other times it just makes prior hurt or angry feelings even stronger. Is there another family member who can be an intermediary in the situation (you know a calming influence with these people)? I hope you find the peace you and your daughter deserve.
 
I am so sorry you and your daughter are going through this on top of losing your wife and her mother. I can't imagine how both must feel. Kate
 
Thank you all for your kind words.. Yes I'm considering restraining orders against them.. obviously money is a issue after living the ALS life with out of pocket expenses for day time care givers etc... Sadly Lizzy parents never liked Me or my lifestyle ( I for Years Drove and was part of a Race team that had me on the road during the season) But that was who I was when we met and married.. Liz was a stay at home Mom and never had to work and our Children attended Private schools and we live/ lived in a nice home. So there was always a bit of jealousy going on and it was Something that Liz and I just dealt with as a Team for 23 years of Marriage. I still understand My inlaws are dealing with a huge loss. But the minute my children become part of the issue is where I must draw the line..
 
It costs nothing to file a restraining order. You don't need a lawyer. You can go to the courthouse and do it yourself. If they have been abusive to your daughter and entering your house without permission, I would not hesitate for a moment. They will hate you but it sounds like that bridge has been crossed and burnt already
 
Thank you for the advice.. I did some research and found it really isn't a big deal especially with the police report and the situation..We haven't heard from them since the episode.. I won't think twice if anything else happens.. And Yes they already Hate Me.. it's sad I'm the one they blame for Lizzy getting ALS from the start.. and now almost a year later they hate me even more for trying to regain some kind of life after 5 years of Caregiving.. My conscious is clear but they make me at times wonder if I could have done more..
 
Just a thought on getting a restraining order, while there is no cost, it is a big hassle to obtain one.

The procedure is going to the court house and being screened by an agent of the court. If you make it past the screening there will be a court date set, usually a 2-4 week wait depending on how busy they are.

The next step is the hearing where you will be face to face with the culprits while you explain your situation. The culprits also get to explain why they don't think a R.O. is applicable.

Make sure you take any police reports and dates of the infractions. If you have somebody to take with you that understands the situation, it would be beneficial to your cause.

I think you should get an R.O. and am not trying to discourage that....just wanted to tell you what is really involved. Best of Luck with this.
 
Thanks Mark ( also my Name ) With the time involved in the process it won't work for the main reason I was considering it ( My Daughters graduation) All is quiet so I'll just hope things stay that way.. thx agsin
 
remember that a RO really has no power to stop someone until after they violate it...and that can be too late for someone's safety. Get the RO, but don't depend on it to keep your daughter safe. these inlaws sound like crazy lowlife.
 
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